A Glimpse Some days I question...if I had the choice between #life and death what would I choose. Like I know primarily at this point I'm living 4 my kids. Like my #life has no purpose outside of them& I often question if I'm really doing them any favors. Like I know they love me and I love them more than I love myself...which is kind of an oxymoron cuz I really don't have a lot of love 4 myself. I dnt have love 4 anything outside of them. Not music, not my possessions...nothing. My heart is essentially a cess pool of emptiness that I dnt even try 2 hide anymore. The things that once mattered so much r just space fillers. I used 2 pray about it. Now I only pray 4 others. In hopes they enjoy this #life more than I do... I think I'm just tired of being homeless. Like emotionally...I have no place 2 go or place I belong. My blackened soul is just coasting along...disjointed and disconnected. Not attached 2 anything. Like sometimes I think I could just wake up and leave without looking back, I often contemplate it, but my kids again keep me grounded ...like there's no one I trust 2 guide them and give them what they need emotionally. No one 2 teach them how 2 embrace their spirit and let them find out who they really r...so I stay...1 footon the ground, the other looking 4 another space 2 reside. But deep down I know I'm preparing 4 my escape. I've let go of many of my relationships slowly...so it's not noticeable, but eventually it will reach the point that no one notices that I'm not there...family... friends...will realize I'm not needed and by the time the realize I'm not there...I won't b...

A Part Of Me ...pt 1 I truly feel like a part of me died 2day. Which is weird 2 admit. Mainly because I shouldn't have such strong emotions 4 someone I never met. But...on the same token this person is pry the single biggest influence on my #life and has been for over 30yrs. I tell everybody seeing Purple Rain was my spiritual awakening. It literally gave me #life. A purpose a focus...I can tie almost every major experience in my #life 2 a Prince album. When I was a lonely fat kid with no friends & big dreams...there was always a Prince album. Everything I knew about girls...I got from Prince...everything I loved about music...I got from Prince...I found God thru Prince...so when I think of his passing & my eyes fill up...it's uncontrollable & natural I guess...cuz I'm losing a friend & an influence...a part of not just my childhood but my #life in general...it's like loosing ...I dnt know how 2 describe it...it's like loosing a part of me... 2 B Continued...

The Best Of Me Some how it seems u took the best part of me And made it something greater, like u rewired the heart in me Blessed be, a canvas 4 the artistry of God it b Like every time I breathe I stop 2 thank him…pardon me If I bare my soul on a record, 4 a second I care not if the people ever get it I care not cuz this is not 4 them…this is 4 u when ur older We’ll just call it one 2 grow on I never feared being black in America Until I saw that u’d inherit this America Where they strip u of ur pride in this America Tell u it’s wrong 2 be right in this America See, some people gon tell u its wrong 2 dream Try 2 place u in a box cuz they fearing what u could be Fearing ur ambition, fearing u wont listen Fear that u will live up 2 the name were u given But I know that ur a fighter, I’ve seen it…no I’ve felt it Knew u had a mission from the 1st time I held u 4 u & ur sister I’d suffer the flames of hell With no hesitation , know that ur my inspiration… The 27th of December I lost the last soul that saw my vision The last soul that saw my mission Said Im gifted and meant it it, Loved me without condition Showed me I had a legacy, that it was meant 2 b Inevitably Never once that I cant, Never once that I shouldn’t Just stay firm in my stance I wish u coulda met her, let her hold u just once The pictures never did justice, shoulda felt u in her arms The curse of time & distance robbed us & if I could be honest I’d blame procrastination thinking theres always 2mr So that’s y im 2day I’m in this solemn place Writing u this song incase he takes my breath away B4 ur old enough 2 see what u mean 2 me I’ll just put it all on paper no erasing my history God’s greatest gift was letting me be a father To 2 of the brightest stars I ever could have encountered Everyday I’m committed Im here 2 give u my best 2 My Prince & my Princess daddy Loves u 2 death…know that

Awesome I hate that I'm emotional. I hate that I've been broken down 2 this point. I'm unstable. I'm insecure. I question even the things that I know r right. I'm weak. I'm misguided. I'm unmotivated. My circle, my support system has withered & damn near died. My road is bleak. The light at the end of my tunnel is almost outta batteries. But still I rise... Once upon a time I was confident & in control. Full of #life & ambition. Full of love & hope. Full of joy & grace. Optimistic & driven. Ready 2 face down any challenge head on. Anything that even dared 2 get in my way...boom, bam, gone. Outta my hair. I was God trusting & God fearing. Spiritually & emotionally unmovable. Lonely at times, but had no time 2 dwell. Cuz I...was on a mission 4 that I rose. Some how. Somewhere, I removed my armor. Let my guard down & opened myself up 2 things I thought I wanted. 2 people I thought would lift me & guide me 2 places I had never dreamed. And in a way, that's exactly what I got. I exposed myself 2 pain, heartache, feelings. Not only mine, but the feelings of others. 2 the point that I placed they're value over my own. 2 the point that I found myself submerged, drowning in the pleasing of others. Obsessed with their happiness almost 2 the point of suffocation. If I couldn't see happiness in them it was an instantaneous slap in the face as a reflection of me, even tho how could it really b cuz I am fucking awesome. That is y I rise. I rise because I am fucking awesome. Even at the lowest points of my scum filled #life of diuchebaggery. I remained fucking awesome. Talented in many areas, easy on the eyes & able 2 bring smiles 2 many without ever having 2 sacrifice mine. I've been fucking awesome, cooler than the other side of a pillow, so smooth u couldn't ruffle me with a brillow, pad no SOS. Fuck ur stress I'm fine. See, sometimes I forget that, I am who I am & everything that I am is what brought people in my #life, so those that try 2 change me will inevitably come 2 terms with the fact that THEY...ain't right. I'm so fucking awesome that I'm right on time even when I'm late, I'm early u just picked the wrong date and I will continue 2 fly this high until my demise. Maybe u'll miss me, maybe u won't. Maybe u'll care & if u don't. No one will miss me more than I do right now. I'm so fucking awesome I wear my face on a shirt just so u know, that I know my worth & that everyday I get stronger on thrive off the hurt. I mean yea...I could have been worse, I should have been better, I should have my shit 2gether but who am I 2 question the way God works. I had 2 fall so I could rise. I had 2 crawl so I could fly & so all that hate can watch my ass as I glide by. No lie, all truth I thought u knew, just who u was talking too or dealing with, tho I made it easy 2 4get. Just how awesome #life has been... Bitch, I'm Awesome

Nothing Nothing It's like they wanna kill my drive, bury my spirit Y the fuck am I alive, if I can't really feel it I swear them bitches getting in my head...sometimes I swear I'd rather deal wit fucking Feds ...no lie No alibi I'm guilty of chasing stars I'm tryna buy a rocket & fly it right n2 mars Crash n2 the#moonwit no headlights I just really need 2 get my damn head right Wit these bars as my outlet Shoulda known it was a curse from the onset But the pleasure when it hits is like God sent Angels disguised as the kicks on my drum set Rapid fire snares is like a hairpin trigga, 4 this rock n roll nigga Circle getting smaller, but my ego getting bigger Known 4 catching feelings while breaking thru glass ceilings Scratch everything u thought u knew Let me introduce u 2... It's like they wanna kill my drive, stifle my progression While I live this lie, a fool am I 2 let em But I'm in this cage, artificial maze That tells me everything's fine, long as u play u game But don't play 2 win, that's a sin Instead just punch the click til the light goes dim Until ur passion feels more like a whim Y would u b u, when u could b like them? Wit these bars as my outlet I've proudly waved my scars since the onset But all my blood, sweat & tears they were God sent Blessings disguised as pressure u know how it gets Love becomes hate & friends they stop responding Lucifer serves the plate, just knowing how bad I'm starving But I can't take the bait, cuz famine is only temporary Tho it's scary, travel wit me down this mind state... R u ready? Have u really met me Have u ever took the time 2 look behind the smile that shows...nothing Maybe if u let me Open up ur mind in time u'll find how much u really know...nothing Maybe u should let me go It's like they wanna kill my drive & savor my flesh.... ......This is not a test I just need a rest...cardiac Til my heart beat in triple time out my chest Fuck a breath, falling outta tempo like u didnt u get the memo Like I ain't been about this shit since I made my 1st demo Six string dreams fuck a triple beam Fuck a scale fuck making bail I'm just tryna cast my sail Fly me 2 the#moonlike Sinatra was banging out beats while niggas was playing contra Always on the job like I'm married 2 mob And if u dnt understand we pry gone b at odds We pry gone b at war so don't ask me what it's 4 When the bombs drop... Cuz patience is a virtue that I dnt got... On borrowed time, but trust I'm still in my prime Stay doper than the rest of em My humblest confession I'm Last of dying, no last of the greats Certified dope since one-nine-seven-eight