A Glimpse Some days I question...if I had the choice between #life and death what would I choose. Like I know primarily at this point I'm living 4 my kids. Like my #life has no purpose outside of them& I often question if I'm really doing them any favors. Like I know they love me and I love them more than I love myself...which is kind of an oxymoron cuz I really don't have a lot of love 4 myself. I dnt have love 4 anything outside of them. Not music, not my possessions...nothing. My heart is essentially a cess pool of emptiness that I dnt even try 2 hide anymore. The things that once mattered so much r just space fillers. I used 2 pray about it. Now I only pray 4 others. In hopes they enjoy this #life more than I do... I think I'm just tired of being homeless. Like emotionally...I have no place 2 go or place I belong. My blackened soul is just coasting along...disjointed and disconnected. Not attached 2 anything. Like sometimes I think I could just wake up and leave without looking back, I often contemplate it, but my kids again keep me grounded ...like there's no one I trust 2 guide them and give them what they need emotionally. No one 2 teach them how 2 embrace their spirit and let them find out who they really r...so I stay...1 footon the ground, the other looking 4 another space 2 reside. But deep down I know I'm preparing 4 my escape. I've let go of many of my relationships slowly...so it's not noticeable, but eventually it will reach the point that no one notices that I'm not there...family... friends...will realize I'm not needed and by the time the realize I'm not there...I won't b...