Stretch Marks #myflawsareremarkable I got my first stretch mark at 12. It was a purple streak across my thigh and I had no idea what it was. At first I was confused and a little scared because I thought there was something wrong with me. I thought it would go though, so I soon forgot about it. About one year later though I started developing, what I now know to be as stretch marks, across the sides of my waist. They were huge and very purple. Neither of my parents had them, so when I showed them they had no idea what they were and seemed a bit taken aback. As you can imagine this did not help me at all with thinking they were anymore normal. A little while later I went to the doctors for an unrelated issues. Just as I was about to leave the doctor's office my mum decides to mention the issue to the doctor and I have to awkwardly lift up my shirt to show him. It was very embarrassing. I had them on the tops of my arms, sides of my waist, tops of my thighs and backs of my knees. Clearly his diagnosis was not satisfactory because sometime later I was at a friend's house. I had just had a lovely meal with her family when they started talking about my headaches. For some unknown, godforsaken reason my dad thought this would be the perfect time to bring up his daughters "weird skin issue" and make me show lift up my top to show everyone. They were very surprised when for some reason I refused. And it still didn't make my most embarrassing moments list... Even after all this I like them. I like how they look, they're unique and remind me of characters from books. I forget I even have them and it's only because I read an article that I remembered they were there. When I go to the beach or wear shorts, I don't even think about their existence I've had them so long. I don't understand why I'm supposed to hide them or cover them up. I've read so many posts online saying how horrid they are, seeing them as synonymous for ugly. I refuse to believe that people are disgusted by them and I want to live my #life as I see fit. So my dears if you feel the need, please #myflawsareremarkable a post and tell me what makes you unique.

It Hurts I just opened up to my mum. I told her about how i struggle with binging and wish I could stop eating and making myself ill. She just smile, chuckled and left. It just makes me sad and feel stupid. I truly thought she could help, she always has in the past...

Beat The Binge I feel like binge eating again. I don't know why, it's almost like I forget all the pain, regret and negative feelings that follow. The reason I want to this time I think is because of the stress of exams. Next exam is maths and is so scary. But I shall stay strong, BEAT THE BINGE!!!

Beat The Binge Part 2 Sorry about that, the app went weird and I couldn't write anymore. So that didn't work and I basically binged the whole holiday, save a few days I tried to eat only two meals. Lucky I didn't gain any weight by some miracle. Now I've been back about two weeks. I only have about 5lbs to my happy goal of 115lbs I'm 5,3 by the way. And I've tried everything, mainly the three straight meals diet but also IF. Now you may be asking yourself why I keep trying the three meals a day diet. Well the reason, I had so much success with it in the past and if I'd been able to adapt I probably wouldn't be here. But this time calories have ruined it, I constantly worry about how much I'm consuming and if I'll still lose. So as a result I have been binged two to three times a week. For example less than an hour ago I binged 1500 over maintenance. My wish for the future is to be able to just eat when I'm hungry and stop when I'm full. Not starve myself and then binge untill I feel ill. I just don't want to be obsessed with food anymore, to break free from my bonds. And yes I know it's pathetic to let food ruin my #life but I can't help it. I know also it's not uncommon for teenagers to go through this, So I've decided to document my feelings on here and if anyone could help me I would much appreciate it! Love Lucy xxx

Beat The Binge Part 1 So my story started about 8 months ago. I was 37 lbs over my ideal weight, so I decided to try to lose it. I had tried many times before but couldn't make it last and I would end up binging. But this time I made it work. I started by only eating three straight meals a day, then after about a week I progressed to calorie counting. I calorie counted for about 6 months and lost 30lbs, it was great. But I wasn't healthy and food was just numbers, not nutrition. So in march I went on holiday, and vowed I would start eating healthier from there on out. I chose to eat three straight meals a day of healthy foods. I had tried the three straight meal diet before and made it last for about 2 years. But then I quit because I have a very all in or all out personality and one day I ate three meals and a snack. As I'm writing thus I realise how very stupid that sounds and I guess it is. After that I started eating everything not caring about weight gain, gradually over the years the weight piled on. So back to the recent past. That healthy eating, three meals a day thing didn't last long, because I always saw calories, So slowly converted back over the next two weeks. Then I went on holiday again and promised myself this time was different, I tried to ditch calories for three meals a day. To be continue...