March 30th Another Letter Too You I love you and miss you always. Please stay with me baby. I would like for you too stay with me and be my angel forever. I never loved anyone quite like you..and have never felt what u felt with anyone but you. Your are irreplaceable. I miss your lips, your touch, your laugh and smile. I miss being in your company and talking too you. I miss being close with you.. I miss sitting close next too you as you held me in your arms. I miss your bed. I miss our car rides. I miss our texts, out conversations. I miss everything about you. You were so handsome, sexy, goofy, cool, reliable, loving, funny, fun, affectionate, nice and etc. You were perfect and you were exactly what I needed. I don't think I could of known how too ask for anything as amazing and perfect and charming as you. It didn't matter what we were did, b/c when I was with you I felt worry-free. Nothing mattered. It felt like the world stopped, and everything just became better. I always wondered if you ever felt the same way. If I ever made you just as happy as you made me. If you felt the same way I did when we kissed or anytime you touched me. I want you too know that you opened me up entirely . And you made me feel amazing...in soo many ways. I hope we can share each other's hearts forever & always. Please never leave me and stay connected too me. I allow you too. And if you can please Help me, come into my dreams and lay beside me in my bed each night, with a kiss one forehead or on my lip. I allow you too give as many as you wish. I wanna feel your love and presence around me each night, or when you are with me.. Or anytime that I think about you...which of course is always. I'm sending you my smiles and my love, my kisses and my hugs. Also I always wondered if you considered me yours? Or if you already did and didn't get the chance too tell me yet. Would you have ever married me? When would you have asked me? How would you have done it? So many questions I'm sorry. Please keep showing me signs you are here. And please lay beside me each night, and let me feel your strong love and presence around me. ..and enter my dreams if you would like..I allow you too do all of the above and anymore that you would like. As long as you continue too guide me, love me and keep sending your love and light onto me..& us....if it is okay with you? I would really appreciate it all..entirely so. And if you need or want too open up too me I am here for you always, so please do so. I would like that. I hope you know and understand that I will always love you and I will NEVER forget you. I pray that I never can. Although I think it is pretty impossible too forget someone like you. And also that we can still heal but both be able too keep each other strong in our hearts and in our loving physical and mental memories. (Clearly remembered) forever and always. I love you soo much. I hope you were able too read all this. Please show me a sign that you are. And feel my love from it. You deserve all my love and smiles sent too you always. No matter what. Even if I have too admit about.... ❤️ 4 u forever and always. ❤️❤️your niki

I Found You.... So I finally find you. After walking through hell. Never thought the type like you existed.... You were perfect for me. Every memory with you is perfect as can be. Everything was simple, natural and fun. I let you see my goofy side, and we always had fun. You took my nerves away. And you opened me up. I felt privileged too be with you. I didn't know how good it came. I didn't know that you could make me feel this way. I never thought I was this deserving too be with someone like you. You were soo cool, charming, sexy, magnetic, goofy, funny, fun, loyal, affectionate and loving. Mixed with the best personality and the sexiest most handsome face I have ever seen. You were all those things and attractive..and you liked me? Maybe I'm insecure or maybe I just loved you. Either way, I feel like I went thru hell too find you. But it was your time too go. Five months of loving you and here I still am. Crying at my bedside, begging for you touch my hand. I'm insane I swear. Maybe I am an idiot. Bc the way I felt with you I have never felt before. Nobody made me feel as good as you did. Nobody touched me the way you did. You opened me up. Taught me how too accept affection, to want too show it. I opened up, in a way I never have before. Every memory with you is one I adore. You weren't too clingy or the hopeless romantic type...a.k.a. (dork) you weren't a jerk, you had respect, you weren't a tool, you didn't use ppl, you weren't a total whore, you were cool as fuck from your head too your core. You had the perfect amount of mystery about you that always made want more. You were perfectly charming, and sexy too. You were goofy as fuck and loving too. You kept my interest, and held it at best. You always held me close at night and let me lay on your chest. Answered all my drunk phone calls..and all my silly texts. Drove 35 minutes out of your way, just too pick me up. Let me start your truck even when your friend was sitting there. You asked me instead without a moment too spare. Brought me around all your friends and still gave me attention. Held your lips close too mine no matter where we were. PDA all the time. And for once I didn't fucking care. Brought me home on time, and always kept in touch. The list could go on, but so far I think I've said enough. Wish I was your girl still, and wish you would have popped the question. Bc I would have been sitting here telling you a million times yes. That moment I will always dream of... Because I love you soo much.. You are tho only person my 22 year old self wants too be with. R.i.p. ❤️

To Chris My heart is filled with much love and pain. If loving you was wrong, then I'd be insane. You have no idea how much you are missed. You have no idea how much by you I want too be kissed. I don't want too think that we ever have too part. So forever and always I am keeping you in my heart. I wish I could know that you will always stay here. Too watch over me and dry all my tears. Because you meant the world too me. Because every time I looked at you my heart felt so free. Because every time you laughed, a smile appeared on my face. I loved everything about you..I loved your mind and I loved your voice. And I've learned now that loving you was a choice. You made me feel so special and so alive. When you kissed me on my forehead my heart would smile. And when you pulled me in close, my insides would go wild. I wish I could see you in my dreams, so every night we could share our laughs and beautiful memories. I wish I could kiss you again, pull you in close and let you hold my hand. And I wish you could help me out with your friend. Let me share what I did with you, only with your help and blessings too. I don't think I'll ever stop missing you

The Best Day Of My #life: A Letter ❤️ I love you Chris Houdek. It's ain't no joke. I'll scream it out loud so everyone can know. That the feeling of loving you will never go away. So by my heart and rest at my bed I hope your soul will stay. And watch over me from above. I hope my love, prayers and devotion for you is enough. Bc when I think of you I get happy but sometimes still cry. Because being next too you was always the best day of my #life. -love your niki Forever and always, a piece of u lays within my heart, and I hope mine does in yours too. Xoxoxo

Feb 20th 2014 Please take my fears away. So I can feel your presence everyday. Help me to Inhale your love, and exhale my fears. So I can feel your love warm my heart and know that you are always here. Give me hope send me signs. Will you love me forever, and let me know that your mine? Protect me from above and connect with my soul. Visit me in my dreams I allow them and I am open. Heal me, feel me, help me, see me. So I can do the same for you. You are my light, please always make sure you keep shining it soo bright. And know that you are loved by me always and forever.