Self Destruction Smart enough to know I'm dumb yet dumb enough to think I'm smart, I don't know if I even hold the cards to go and play that part, it's hard to see when you're lost and can't even seem to flee the dark, a certain pain in your chest from the weight of a heavy heart, guilt ridden,and this position, will hold you down from the very start, I've quit wishing, because my mission, has already seemed to fall apart, so quit bitching, I'm not listening, your vocabulary has fed these scars, my reason's missing, I'm self dissing, to others I never meant no harm. Steven Alex Ivester
My Prayer I want myself back, I want back who I was, I want back the job I worked daily just because, I want back the feelings before I ever caught a buzz, and the vocabulary before I ever chose to cuss, I want back the highs, I'll give back the lows, and return the knowledge that I didn't need to know, and take back the actions that I didn't mean to show, and hold on to the things that I shouldn't have let go, I want back the peace, stabled minded and content, and the satisfaction no matter where I went, writing off the hatred as soon as it was sent, never paying it any mind or getting my mind bent, I want back the laughter, smiling caused by me, I was just trying to help and maybe let them see, the positive side of #life, never looking at it deep, but instead enjoying the ride and grateful for the scenes, I want back the hope, I need back my dreams, that I gave up on somewhere in between, popping my first top and smoking my first green, and seeing blue lights with the cuffs placed on me, I want back my friend, my very first friend, like a big brother he made me feel like kin, I see his good deeds that I didn't notice then, and how he tried to guide me from the trouble I got in, I want not to want, it's something I didn't do, no matter the situations or the problems I went through, or the bad memories I didn't pick and choose, it wasn't a competition there was no win or lose, BUT MOSTLY WHAT I NEED, IS JESUS'S LOVE AGAIN, PUTTING URGENCY IN THIS PRAYER AS I OPENLY REPENT, I'M TRUTHFULLY SCARED TO DEATH, IN DESPERATE NEED OF MERCY, PRAYING FOR HIS GUIDANCE EVEN THOUGH THAT I'M NOT WORTHY. Steven Alex Ivester
Level Head They said I could be famous and I thought that thought was heinous, 'cause fame ain't how I'm aiming, but I guess I'm out there gaming, so question what you're saying, 'til the point the game you're playing, becomes just another reflex, second nature when you're reigning. And as you stand amongst the greats, remember to nourish your humble plate, keeping in mind just whats at stake, 'cause feelings ain't all that fake, pleasure and business can't relate, sacrifice is what it takes, and being hard on one's self, so the ego doesn't inflate. Steven Alex Ivester