Chapter 5 |the grey orphanage| I pace about my room, still fully dressed except for my shoes, which I had taken off. What did Helen have to say to me? And why did I need to know it in order to stay at the orphanage? I didn't know if I really wanted to stay here. Presently, there was a soft knock on my door. I opened it and Helen walked in. She already had her night gown in, and her long dark hair was let down and braided to one side. "Miss Jenkins would probably fire us both if she saw what we were doing." I whispered, as we both sat on the bed. "She hasn't caught me so far." Helen replied smiling. "I have been here since I was twenty, I'm thirty now, and I have done this six times. And there was at least fifteen people who came to work here, and most of them left. Some on there own free will, some because Jenkins asked them to leave." "Did some leave after you told them what you are going to tell me?" She nodded. “I don’t blame them.” I thought. “So here is what you need to know,” Helen began, “Bertha Jenkins was raised by strict parents and that is how she thinks children should be raised. I don’t think she realizes how harsh she is.” “How could she not?” I demanded. Helen shrugged, “Perhaps her parents treated her worse and she thinks she is giving them reasonable discipline. She is very stubborn in her beliefs of children. You heard her today saying that children should be seen and not heard. She also doesn’t think a lot playing is good for them. The only reason she allows it is because Mr. Henson insisted on more play time. She draws the line at them pretending. They cannot read novels, only true history.” “It really is cruel.” I said, thinking of all the playing and pretending I did with my cousins as a child. She shrugged again. “I suppose it keeps the children out of trouble most of the time.” “Trouble is a part of childhood.” and then I blushed when I thought of the trouble I had been through lately. I did quite well today though I thought. “Miss Jenkins doesn’t think so.” said Helen. There was a pause. “If you want to stay here Jean, you will have to comply with the rules like the rest of us do. Sometimes though, we let them pretend a little, on the rare times that miss Jenkins is gone.” I smiled. “But that has only happened four times that I have been here.” she took a deep breath, “You have probably noticed that we go a little easier on the children when Bertha’s not around.” I nodded, “I have noticed that.” “But when she comes back, we get harsh. That is how she expects us, and you to behave.” “I don’t know if I will be able to do that.” I said, biting my lip. “You will eventually. I thought I couldn’t either. And always be conventional Jean, don’t try to bend rules. She won’t tolerate that.” I nodded again. “You have also noticed that things are different when Mr. Henson is around. She wants to give him the impression that this orphanage has happy, accomplished and obedient kids.”: “Accomplished?” “We will be having lots of lessons on thursday such as piano, and other instruments, needlework, and whatever else miss Jenkins decides they need to learn to succeed in this world.” “Does she decide the children’s accomplishments?” “Sort of. They all have to learn to read music to a certain extent, but they don’t have to pursue piano, they have the option of learning other instruments. For girls, learning sewing and knitting is a requirement.” “What do the boys do besides music?” “They learn business usually. Mr. Hoover oversees that in the classroom. He comes on thursday with the rest of the hired teachers, Mr. and Mrs. Tyler, who teach music. But I think the children really enjoy those days. Jenkins isn’t ordinarily around the children when they are learning.” “I am glad they can enjoy it, “ said I, “But back the previous topic, I should behave harshly when Miss Jenkins is around, softer when she’s not, and in between when Mr. Henson comes?” Helen laughed, “Something like that.” “How do you manage it?” “One gets used to it.” I sighed. “I’ll try Helen, I really will.” “Good. Because I want you to stay.” I looked up and smiled at her. It felt so good to be wanted. She got up and walked towards the door. She opened it, and then paused. Turning around, she added softly, “Oh, and try not to get too attached to the children. It makes things a lot harder.” Then she closed the door, and I heard her faint footfalls fade into silence.

Chapter 4 |The Grey Orphanage| As we approached the orphanage after our walk, a horse was in sight and a man was alighting from it. Helen and some of the older children said "hush!" as we came nearer. Helen was close enough to greet the man, and he waved. I was in the back of the group and did not see him immediately, but when I did, we both looked at each other with surprise. Miss Jenkins suddenly appeared and started talking to the owner while we gathered everyone inside. I joined Helen in the schoolroom with the older kids while the little ones went to the nursery in the next room. What an odd thing! I thought, as I again saw the owner. I know him from somewhere. Who could I know here? But then when he spoke to miss Jenkins, I remembered. He was the gentleman who gave me a ride in his carriage not three weeks ago! Somehow, I felt embarrassed. "How are you doing, John?" Mr. Henson asked, for that is what miss Jenkins called him. The boy looked up from his textbook. "I am doing well sir. My cough went away." "That is good to hear." Mr. Henson replied, and walked out of the room. I wanted to follow him, to see what he would say to everything else, so I did. When Mr. Henson saw me again, he said, "Ah, here is the little lady I picked up from the train station. How are you Miss?" "Fine, Mr. Henson, thank you." "It is funny thing that my kindness to you should be repaid. Though," he smiled, "working here at my orphanage is a much greater kindness." "Well then, I'm glad of that." We entered the nursery, where the ones younger than eight were playing with blocks. I thought the room had an unnatural silence about it, even when the owner and Miss Jenkins were talking. They were conversing in low voices, and I didn't want to be rude by standing near them. I did catch one word though, miss Jenkins said, "Jean" and then I really wanted to know what they were saying. "Oh don't build the tower two high." Clara, one of the maids, said to a little girl, standing of tiptoe to place another block on her stack. "Just one more." the girl replied softly. One more proved to be detrimental, for it swayed and then fell towards me. Somehow, I managed to catch some of the blocks that fell from the top, and some of the others fell into my lap. Clara and I looked at each other, and we became friends at that moment. It made me wonder what would have happened if I let the blocks tumble onto the wooden floor. What would have Miss Jenkins done? And why would she punish us for an accident? And wouldn't Mr. Henson understand? Certainly they would still be the best orphanage in the area if a few squares of painted wood fell on the floor. I went back to the schoolroom, and stayed there for another hour, and then there was another break outside in the fenced yard. I sat with Clara and Helen as they sat under a tree watching the kids. Some of the older boys were playing with marbles on the grass, a lot of the younger ones were playing tag, and when one shrieked, she quickly covered her mouth and looked around before chasing the boy who had tagged her. Others were reading books, and some sitting and watching. Helen leaned towards me and said softly, "Tonight after the children are in bed, I am going to talk with you in your room. There are some important things I want you to know." "Take that as a compliment Jean." said Clara, "She only does that to people whom she really wants to stay at the orphanage." "Thank you then, Helen." I told her, "Do you know where my room is? (She shook her head) It is the second door from the left of the staircase." After a moments pause, I inquired, "Does anyone ever play with the children?" "Is that what you want to do?" Clara, raised an eyebrow. "It's not lady like, Jean." Helen smiled at me, and then glanced at Clara. "Is one supposed to act lady like when working with children." "At all times." said Helen, seriously. Suddenly she got up and walked over to where a girl was stomping her foot and pointing to a boy with a smug look on his face. "Sarah," Helen addressed her sternly, "what is going on here?" Sarah proceeded to angrily explain herself, but was stopped by miss Jenkins coming around the corner of the building. "Helen," said she, "Children should be seen and not heard. She may not throw a fit. Take her to her room and she stays there till morning." There was a change in Helens manner when the head of the orphanage was in sight. Suddenly she became more stern and harsh. An anger boiled up inside of me. I would never let miss Jenkins control me. Never.

Chapter3 (part 2) |The Grey Orphanage| "Miss Olson." I stopped at the door. Lunch had just finished, and everyone was going outside to exercise. "Yes, Miss Jenkins?" The lady motioned for me to follow her and they walked to the living room. A patter of feet was heard going past the door, and a child was shushing. Miss Jenkins closed the door. "I need to let you know that the owner is coming today." "The owner?" I repeated, I wonder what he would say when he saw how things are run here. "Yes, he, or sometimes his son comes every month or so to see how things are doing. He owns several orphanages." Then he must approve of this. I was a little dissapointed. "Now Miss Olson," Miss Jenkin, her eyes fixed on me in the manner I would see for months to come, "So far we have made a very good impression on him. We have been noted as the best orphanage in the area, and I want to keep it that way. I always inform anyone who comes to work here of that. I have high expectations. Understood?" "Yes, ma'am." "Good, now join the children outside." she said, as she walked out. Best orphahge in the area! By what standards? I was thinking about this when Miss Brooke opened the front gate and we went for a walk in the country side to the left of the Grey Orphanage. Something struck me as different as we walked. I tried to figure out what it was as I breathed in fresh cold air, feeling leaves that crunched underneath my feet, and saw nodding flowers beside the path. I was startled out of my reverie by tripping on a stump, but fortuately didn't fall, and noboby seemed to notice. But suddenly I knew what was so different. Miss Jenkins must be a mile away from us, and everyone felt that. There was no tension. I started to hear children talking. There was something dreadful wrong about the stress these children were put under. They had to act like perfect ladies and gentlemen, or else they were punished. They couldn't act like children. It disturbed me. I wanted to see them play and be excited. I wanted to see their personalities expressed. "How are you liking it here so far, Miss Olson?" asked Miss Brooke, with the first faint smile I had seen on anyone's face. "Well, it is not what I expected," I replied, for I couldn't say I liked it, "and call me Jean." "Alright Jean, and you call me Helen. It is never what people expect when people come to work here, becuase it doesn't live up to reputation." she dropped her voice as she said this. "Miss Jenkin's told me it is the best orphanage in the area." I said softly. "It is in some ways, but..." she shook her head, "I shouldn't say anything. You will figure it out soon." I knew I had figured out at least one thing, that the orphange is a lot more comfortable without Miss Jenkin's presence.

Excerpt From A Book I'm Writing " "It's a lot different here that the country, isn't it?", said Mr. Pope , to the young man in front of him. "Indeed", said he, and then addressing his sister beside at the table corner asked, "Don't you think so?", Amberly shyly nodded and looked down. "I lived in the country once." said Wesley, who was sitting beside Pope. "Between you and Seth," Pope ,nodded and the man in front of him, "You can tell us city people what it is like." "It is a lot quieter there." began Seth. Wesley snorted, "Quiet?! The poultry, and the cows, and the horses-" "But you can get away from all that noise if you want to. I used to talk walks along the field, or the creek. It was very quiet there." "I think it is more quiet to sit in a drawing room engrossed in a book. It is certainly more quiet than a creek or a field." "It is a different sort of quiet." said Seth, who was getting a little distressed at this conversation, and was grateful when Mr. Pope interrupted. "What do you plan to do here? Are you going to stay with your aunt and uncle, or are you going to get a place of your own?" "For the time being, I do plan to stay," he replied, "I will be looking for work though. I need to keep busy." "I stay plenty busy." Wesley declared, "This is the third dinner party I've been to this week, and it's only Thursday!" "Don't you get tired of it?" Seth asked him, glancing at his sister who was yawning. "Not dreadfully tired. Sometimes I do get bored when there is dull company, like the last dinner I went to." "

Chapter 3 (part One) |The Grey Orphanage| There was a sharp knock on the door. I sat up straight, blinking in the bright light. "Jean!" I heard. It was miss Jenkins! "I'm up!" I called, throwing my covers to the side. My bare toes hit the cold tile and I hastened to dress and wash my face. I braided my hair and slipped on my shoes. I took a deep breath before opening the door. It was the first morning of my stay at the orphanage and I had woken up late. This was not a good start. Miss Jenkins was waiting in front of the door when I opened it. She raised an eyebrow and stared at me disapprovingly through her grey eyes. "Are you aware what time it is miss Olson?" "I suppose it is breakfast time." said Jean. "It is past that time. I expect expect everyone to get up when the bell is wrung." She motioned to a bell hanging on the wall in the middle of the hall. "I'm sorry, Miss Jenkins, I didn't hear it." "You will learn how to be a light sleeper." she said, "Now, I will let you off easy this one time. The children are in the school room. You may help them with their school work when they want help." Miss Jenkins walked off. No, this was certainly not a good start to a first day impression. She resolved to make up for her mistake by doing everything else right. She easily found the school room, remembering from the tour the previous night that it was beside the dining room. She was surprised, upon opening the door, at the scene before her. She had expected it to be silent and dull like it was last night. She heard shuffling of paper, low voices, giggles, chalk scratching against slates. It all looked very animated. As she opened the door further, there was a sudden hush, and everyone looked at the door. I will never be late again. thought she, entering. She hated to be stared at. She knew she was not pretty, and especially must look a sight this morning. Then the children slowly turned back to their work. As she walked past some of the tables, she heard unintelligible whispering, except for "miss Olson". Jean was quite at loss on what to do, and found it awkward to walk around the room observing the class. The three other women in there were sitting next to a few younger ones, their head bent over a text book or slate. Then one of the ladies stood up and tapped on the desk in front of the room, "Class, put your spelling away, we will start on math." Jean heard some groans from the back of the room. The lady who had stood up cleared her throat and frowned at them, but Jean thought she didn't seem very displeased. Certainly not as displeased as Miss Jenkins was to her this morning. Jean found an opportunity to help a little boy with his work, and she stayed beside him till lunch time. ~