Shall I Apologise? Shall I apologise For everyone wearing awful trainers I apologise to myself For having to look At all these Duffs Destroy it –them Destroy it –them Destroy it –them It is my motherfucking label -That one was mine You are not permitted To wear that So instead of a sorry I say thank you Thank you for putting her in a Fuck up ##poetsin

Old Friend I had a friend Who decided to go off and Forget me After not seeing you Or hearing your laugh From my garden But now All these years later I remember that she's gone Why has she not Spoken to me? In all these long years ##poetsin

Insignificant Forgiveness –what is that? I have no one That I need to forgive Because you are insignificant to me And always will be What do you want from me? Because it has all taken so long But that does not give my old friend The right to hurt me -why are you hurting me Carrie What the fuck What the fuck? ##poetsin

Start Over I feel like someone Is trying to force me To forgive said someone For going out of their way To fuck me over If you knew what I know You would not be Asking me to forgive -You would agree The only thing for this one Is to be crossed out I just need to start over ##poetsin

Out Of The Blue For a while now, out of the blue, my mind has been switched off. Memories have been totally blanked from my mind and this has really angered me. I feel like I am someone’s toy in a fucked up game, and I really, really, really fucking hate it. Nothing makes much sense, or I’ll be given a piece at a time. Spinning out of control. This does not feel like I am tapping into a stream of consciousness, because it is happening to me daily. Whoever is doing this is giving me these thoughts that I know are not mine, and that speaks really horrible to me at times. Even pretending to be people that I care about or used to care about. But it’s not actually them. Is it? I read some books as a child that had a lot of clever things in them. They have answers, but speaking to me is clearly not enough. It shows me things, with words. Sometimes it tells the truth. It knows things about me that it should not, -my memories. It plays my memories to me like a tape being played. Sometimes it makes the time go really fast, but the majority of the time it has really been getting to me -as it has been trying to take over, and it doesn’t like that I don’t want it. I am not the only one this is happening to. There are a few of us. But I think it’s turned me over the top. Is someone out there is doing this to me -almost like it’s trying to recruit me, or am I recruiting myself? I see it in darkness because it lies a lot. If this person who I suspect is very clever wants to tell me something, why the hell can’t whoever it is speak to my fucking face instead of how they are trying to now. ##poetsin