Existence I don't live... Every breath I get don't feel real My #life doesn't feel like it's mine Every move I've made, every thing I do I don't feel anything I just do what seems right Or what is the next step I'm an outsider in my own #life A stranger to myself My stomach turns and I just want to purge myself of myself I want to banish this existence This cannot be #life..... So why is this #life that is to be mine like this, Why does it feel like what is mine isn't... The times I feel the air filling my lungs, When the smile on my face begins to hurt, When the skip in my step makes me feel like my feet never touch the ground For the little things like when I think I've found my home My place in the real world But again this madness comes into my head and makes me an outcast I have this battle in me that isn't going to end well It isn't of good and evil... I fight myself to make me happy Maybe there are three people in me... The knight that tries but never quite succeeds. The witch, who in her misery ensure nothing but darkness for me. And the worst person of all This victim... Why can't you find strength? Why can't you find courage? Why are you so stupid that you remain in this misery? You are an impartial failure watching a battle you know you can end Why are you just sitting in this corner... Covered in webs and mould.... What are you waiting for? You've spent your #life making sure the knight feels relevant And trying to bring joy to the miserable witch You have spent all this time living day by day You need a plan... Something to look forward to.... Without the fear of whether it's right for the knight or witch No need to care for every other person.... Don't give yourself only negative time Find the heart to chase the impossible And possibly for once, FEEL happiness Another impossibility you should strive to make possible.... Good luck finding the end of your cold nightmare It is possible there is no end.... But you deserve, for once, to have hope That there is a light And the darkness will end.. Please, stop this pain.... It's too dark and cold Release us from this unending #lifelessness Love yourself..... It is possible to love...
In The Darkness I wonder what it feels like to be seen, To make a sound that is actually heard... Maybe it feels like you are royalty, I hope it is less lonely, less empty... I always imagined that it was like being a photo Only, people don't just glance; they practically stare But that probably happens to the really special ones; The ones up front, no need to display. Being at the back, The cold, empty unseen back Where no photos are hung And why should they?! No one ever comes, no one ever see, And of course, no one ever hears The sound of your unseen heart breaking Every time you remains unseen; unheard. I am unimportant, my existence is a waste But people tell me I'm not, yet never see How can you know the value of something You never see, you never hear... Maybe it is because there is no value As nothing is really there...
Imagine a #life.... So I'm the kind of girl who can stay in her room all day yet dreams of being outside and social. I lead a shy, uneventful #life but dream of being a girl without limits, one who has an adventurous #life and never stops living... Problem is, I'm not sure in what world I'm happier. My simple reality I delude myself to be more interesting than it actually is or my imaginary #life where I crave simplicity... Quite a paradox I created for myself... Dreaming of a #life I think I want cause it is more interesting but in that #life I want out because I'm scared and don't think I can handle it all. Isn't it strange when the #life we think we'll find happiness is no happier than the #life we already lead? Is it our greed or boredom that makes us crave more? Whatever it is, it's a bother. Cause if in simplicity and complexity you can't find happiness, and you still can't figure out a balance; you're leading and craving the wrong #lifestyle or maybe you're just not brave enough to accept the #life for what is it.... Whatever it is. Maybe we should all take our lives and make them best of all world: including the reality, the imaginary and the damn right impossible... Happiness is so subjective, so ineffable that you can't imagine it, or what it will be like, you just feel... Maybe, in the delusion of chasing happiness, we forgot to be happy and just kept running, not sure whether after or from something?...