Living Crazy Chapter 4 When I wake up Alex is gone. I look around and he is no where to be found. Maybe he went for lunch or something. I gather my things and leave the room. When I get to my room the lady with the orange hair is there. "we need to give you your medicine" she says smiling. I nod and sit on my bed giving her my arm. "I heard you've been talking to Dr. Alexander?" she ask. I nod again. "that's good sweetie. Getting somewhere." she smiles at me. She gets the needle ready and injects me with some green liquid. God knows what it is. "okay. All done" she says taking it out of my arm. "next on your schedule is...." she looks down it. "dinner" she says. Dinner. What? It was only lunch when I went to sleep. "you and Dr. Alexander must have talked a lot today to keep you from all your other chores" she says walking out. Well. Dinner it is. I walk into the cafeteria and sit down with my food at the table I had sat at today at lunch. Soon Sam and Kali walk over "guess Kali didn't scare you off today" says Sam with a smile. Kali laughs and punches him "I'm not that bad" she says blushing at the ground. "so what's your name since you'll be sitting her more often now?" I think about these two. So far I've liked them and they seem to like me. I guess I can talk to them. They don't seem like a threat. "I'm Ariel" I say softly taking a sip of my soup. "that's a pretty name. Better than Kali" Sam jokes. Kali punches him in his chest. "way better than Sam" she says. "you cant use the same basic comeback Kali" Sam says with so much duh in his voice. "yeah. Well.... Your mom" she says seriously. "is that all you've got?" ask Sam. "whatever" she says looking angry and starting to eat her food. I smile at them. How they act and fight but yet still must love each other. "so Ariel why are you here?" he ask. Kali still mad she finally turns her attention to us. "uh. I'm not supposed to say anything" I begin to finish my food and so does Sam and Kali. "Ariel Sarrenta to Dr. Alexander's office please" I hear it over the over-com in the cafeteria. "well bye guys" I say as I stand up to leave. They both say goodbye and begin to argue about if the soup is salty or not. I smile dumping my tray and continuing down the hall to Alex's room. I open the door and see him sitting down looking up at me. "come here" he says smiling. I walk over and sit in the chair beside him. He smiles at me. "what?" I ask. He laughs at bit "I'm sorry about leaving you this morning. I just... I was informed my mom... She..." he chokes up a bit. "she didn't die of natural causes. She... Was killed. The government wont admit to it but we know what they've done" he says tearing up a bit. I move over beside him and sit on his lap. "listen. I think me and you should just not talk anymore. I can just get a new therapist and just avoid you. I've done this to your mother. Its all my fault" He doesn't say anything and I realize he agrees. I tear up and begin to cry a little. I stand up and walk towards the door. "wait. No. Don't go" he says I continue anyways. We shouldn't be together. At all. I reach the door about to touch the handle when he grabs me by the waist and spins me around. "I don't think you understand." he says backing me up against the door with his arms on both sides of me to where I can't move away from him. "I don't have anyone left. No one. Not a single person. You know how that feels. It doesn't feel too good does it? That's why we need each other. Because neither of us have anyone" It hits me that he is right. Everything we've ever had has been taken. My mother. My brother. My best friends. And most of all Kadence. Every single one of them missing or dead. Nothing to show except the governments letter of sorrys and that each month I could receive little money. "Ariel. I'm not scared of you. Stop pretending your an omen or something. Your wonderful." I start to cry and slid down the wall to sit on the floor. I bury my head in my arms and sob. He kneels down in front of me and raises my face with my chin. "listen to me. Stop crying and feeling sorry for yourself. You can have anything you want. The government can't get rid of you. You are the only thing they have left of that day. If they know what's good for them they can't do anything to you" He's right they can't. "but Kadence" I say in between sobs. "Ariel. He's probably dead. All unheard after they took him was bad." he says feeling sorry. But he doesn't sound too upset. "Alex. You don't understand. I can't just assume. I need to know. For sure. Is he alive. Or no." I say standing up. "and until I figure that out, we can't do anything else. No romance. No kiss. No hugging. Just you as my therapist. Nothing more" I say walking out the door leaving him with no goodbye.

Living Crazy Chapter 3 At first he doesn't respond to the kiss and my heart sinks some. Then his lips start to move with mine Only seconds later he pulls away and backs up some. "we shouldn't do this" he says looking down at the water. I know we shouldn't. I know I don't love you. But when I'm with you. I feel numb. And I need that. That's what I should say. But I don't. "please." is all I can muster up. "we can't. It goes against everything people around here are for" he says looking around to see if anyone saw the kiss. "so." I say as if I care. "so you dont get it princess. If anyone saw that me and you could both be killed on spot. The government doesn't want couples. Or children. Or anyone together for that matter. They want order. And that's what they will get" he says so harsh it hurts me to listen. "So what? So why should we care? Everything I HAVE EVER loved has been taken from me. EVERYTHING. Do you hear me? EVERY SINGLE BIT. I can't even remember the last time I laughed. Or even smiled. But you know what I do remember?" I scream at him. He looks offended at first. Then soon brushes it off. "what?" he ask. "you. Since I've got here you are the only one who hasn't stabbed me. Or poked me. Or even called me crazy. Everyone around here thinks I'm a lunatic! Like I'm completely insane! But you... You don't." He smiles. "it's because I think your smarter than half the people around here" he says. He takes my hand. "let's go dry you off. Then we can't talk about this." he says pointing between us. What he doesn't know is. There is no... This. Us. Together. I need him for one thing. To be numb. To be better. To forget Kadence and forget that we might of had a chance at #life before he was taken. Alexander gives me a sense of... Relief. Like I can learn to love him. Like I need him. Kadence is dead for sure. He must be. As we are walking back still interlocked hands he looks down at me "that kiss. It couldn't have meant anything to you" he says. "why do you say that?" I ask confused. "because. I know about Kadence." he says so calm. He starts walking again still holding my hand dragging me along. He grabs my drawing when we get to it. And then he continues to walk. "it did mean something" I say making him stop. "it meant I... I need you." I say dropping his hand. "but I dont think you need me. I'm bad news. Everyone I've ever liked is killed. It would be best if you just left now" I let go of his hand and begin to walk towards the housing part of the institute. "wait" he yells after me. I turn around to see him holding up my drawing "forgot your drawing" he says smiling. I walk back and grab it. But before I can't get away he grabs me and pulls me close to him hugging me against his chest. "babe. I don't have much to live for anyways. Might as well give me a reason to die" He smiles. Does he really mean that? "you weren't supposed to say that" I at blushing and looking towards the ground. "I'm not supposed to do a lot of things. But I do anyways." I lay my head against him. "thanks" Is all I say. It's all I need to say. He knows I need time to heal. That it's been a year but I still need time. And he knows he can be here for me any way possible. He pushes me back some "just call me Alex from now on okay?" I nod. He walks me back to my room and helps me find some new... Dry clothes. I make him leave so I can change and then I go to lunch. I'm sitting there poking a meat type of food when a girl with ponytails and high top sneakers walks up. "HI I'm Kali! What's your name?" she ask extending a hand. This guy with dark black hair and bright blue eyes walks up and sits down beside where she had. "Kali haven't you heard? She doesn't talk" he says biting his sandwich. "oh" she says "well everyone talks. Everyone you just can't not talk" she says getting worried. "Kali everyone can choose weather they talk or not. Except you. You talk way too much" She pushes him playfully. "shutup" she blushes. You can tell these two like each other. If not love. It's how me and Kadence acted. Lovey and playfull. How these two do. "so new girl" they guys begins "I'm Sam. This is Kali and this is our table. Although we don't mind company. Just don't let anyone else sit here" he says with a wink. So Sam and Kali. I liked them. I don't know if I could trust them. But I liked them. "okay" I say sticking food in my mouth. "SHE TALKS" screams Kali. I jump a little. "Kali. Calm down." says Sam. "She has ADHD. So the government sent her here. Otherwise she is normal." she pushes his laughing and mad "you aren't supposed to tel people" she says. "anyone within ten miles can tell Kali" he laughs hugging her. "I'm sorry" he says when she give him an angry face. "okay. I'll forgive you if you give me your cake" eyeing the cake. He grunts. "I guess...." he says handing it to her. She smiles and starts eating it. I continue to eat and watch these two. They smile at each other. But more is in their eyes. Not lust. Not wanting. But pure love. Love that they can't embrace because of this messed up world. Love that one day. Will die with them. "bye guys" I stand up about to cry at how these two can never be more than friends. At how I can never see him again. At how even if I loved Alex I couldnt be with him. At how this world is so whacked up I can't help but follow the rules. I run to my room and look at my daily schedule. Next I go see Alex. This is what I need. I get dressed in my clothes and braid my hair down my back. Long brown hair. My blue eyes bursting with color. My freckles showing more today. I walk down the hall to Alex's room. I open the door and find him looking out the full window to the ocean. "I'm here" I say is a whisper almost. Making my way to the chair and I sit down. "you know. I've thought about this morning." he says still looking out. "and?" I ask urging him on. "and. I'm.... I'm not too upset about it. I mean. If we ever got caught." he says finally turning to me. "my mom was.... She.... Died this morning" he says almost crying. I gasp a little. His mom was still alive? "oh. Alex. If I knew that I wouldn't have... I wouldn't... Never kissed you.... Oh I'm so sorry" I say standing up and hugging him. He doesn't hug me back though. He just stands there. And I understand what he's going through. His lose. The empty feeling. The feeling he doesn't know what to do with. "it's okay. You didn't mean for this to happen" He says running my back and finally returning the hug. "besides" he starts sitting me on the desk. "she lived her #life. She had a good one" he plays with a strand of my hair. "can we just.... Not do anything today?" he ask me. I nod. Besides I need sleep anyways. I can just go back to my room and sleep. "yeah I need slee-" That's all I get out before he presses his lips against mine. Hungry. Needing. Lustful. That's how he was kissing me. I soon kiss him back moving my lips along with his. He gets closer to me and hold me to him. I intertwine my fingers with his hair. He picks me up and sits down on the couch in the room. He starts to tug at my shirt and I realize where this is going. This can't happen. Not now. Not here. I pull away from the kiss. "no... Alex... Not now. Not yet. I can't" I say still trying to catch my breath. He sits up some. From hovering over me. "I'm sorry" is all he says. He loos out the window again. "it's okay." I sit up beside him and take his hand. "I just... Hate this place" he says emotionless. "I know. I wish... We could just leave. And never look back" I know this isn't possible. But everyone has a dream. "me too. Lets nap?" he ask looking down questioning me. "sure" I say laying down on the couch. He gets up and closes the blinds and locking all the windows and doors so no one can get in. He lays down and wraps an arm around me. "Ariel. Why can't you just trust me?" he ask. "I haven't decided yet" I answer before I fall asleep in his arms.

Living Crazy Chapter 2 When we get down to the beach I smell the salt. It's warming to know that this was once a happy world. Where kids could live and be free. Where adults weren't forced to work for this one world government. "Okay love" he says as if we are here. I notice his hair is down in his face a tad and he looks really young. Maybe 23 or so. He has beautiful green sea eyes and a athlete build. He is dressed in a fitted suit and seems to be distracted by the waves. We aren't allowed to swim in the ocean anymore. Only the fishing and water districts. Although there is only 6 districts 1 is special weapons 2 is clothing and textiles 3 is animals and agriculture 4 is inventions and electricity 5 is fishing and water And 6 is mining "so what district are you from?" I start to tell him 4 I'm from 4. Me and the guy I'm absolutely in love with snuck to 5 and lived on the beach for around 2 months before we where found and he was taken captive. Believed to be dead. Hopefully alive. Either way is good. If he's dead he isn't being harmed. If he's alive I can get him back. I just raise my fingers into the number 4. "oh I see the inventions industry. You ever invented anything?" No. I was never old enough. I shake my head no. "I'm from 5. Fishing and water. I worked fishing from the time I was old enough to walk" He kicks a shell under his foot and it flies into the water. The waves washing it away and not being seen anymore. "can I ask exactly why you are here? I don't think you'll answer but it's worth a shot" he says sitting down looking out at the water. I can trust him. I think I can anyways. I start to talk but look around first "no ones out here" he says. Never looking at me. "it all started a year ago. I was 16. District 4 started to..... Get angry with the government. Started to talk about revolting and taking over the government. Forcing us to work and supply them with food and technology when we all starve to death each day. Me and..... We ran off to district 5. To see if we could find out any information on them revolting. To see if they wanted to join this fight. When we got here. It was opposite. People enjoyed #life. They liked the new government. They liked the idea of the government. How it was working. So we hid out in the woods behind the beach." I stop. I can't go on anymore. I can't let him know anymore. Not like this. I have to stop talking. To stop letting people know me. "ah. But you where wrong. We hated this whole 'government' thing. I guess thats all for today. Go back to your room. Get some rest" He gets up and helps me up. When I'm back in my room I pull out my notepad and begin to draw me and him sitting on the beach. I go back through all my drawings. From the day i was taken in to today. Each day showing something significant. "Ariel. It's your bed time. Go to sleep" the orange haired woman says. What's her name? I wonder to myself. "ms. What's your name?" I ask. She seems shocked at first but then smiles "I'm Ms. Cavens" she says then walks out. I've talked enough today to last me the rest of my #life. I shouldn't talk anymore. I begin to unfold my bed. Lay down. Then drift into sleep. (the next part is a dream) "Ariel this is it" he says. I look over at Kadence. Smiling and stronger than ever. "it's beautiful" I say. "nothing like district 4" he finishes for me. We had just gotten to district 5. The beach water flowing up onto the beach like a strong night tide. He wraps me in his arms. "we did it Ariel. We actually made it" he says kissing the top of my head. When he did things like this I always knew I loved him. And he knew too. We didn't hide that at all. Kadence looks down at me in the eyes. "you know I love you" I nod and lean up to kiss him. He kisses me back and I'm the first to pull away. Startled by a sound on the beach. "Ariel. You don't have to be scared here" but I am. I can't help but be scared. Thats all I've ever known. Was to be scared. "I'm sorry" he turns my back against his chest and wraps his arms around my waist. We shouldn't be showing affection this much. We could be spotted and killed immediately. We don't seem to care though. "Kadence. Do you think we could ever get married? Have kids?" I ask still looking out at the ocean. Still amazed. "I dont know Ariel. Maybe if this whole government gets better. I don't want to have kids and them face what we have to. What we are running from. Being killed or hurt. I couldn't live with myself knowing I brought them into the world" He says it like its a script. Like he's thought about it many times before. "yeah. But. I just.... I don't know." I say unsure of what I mean. "I know what you mean. Your tired of running. You want to settle down. And have a family" That's exactly what I meant. That's why I love Kadence. He always seemed to know what I was thinking. That's why I love him more than he even knows. #life if self doesn't seem to matter. I just love Kadence. Everything seems to start fading. I'm reaching out to feel him and he is just dissolving away. I wake up. It was all a dream. He wasn't really here. I wasn't really with him. I start to cry. I pick up my notebook and make sure to fix the bed before u leave. I head out of the room intending to be ninja like. I walk down the hall and look around each corner so no one sees me. I get out the door and head down to the beach. When I get there I start drawing. Drawing him. Drawing me. As I saw it. How I felt it. How I wish it was again. When I finish I sit down the paper and look out at the ocean still crying. "that's a really good drawing" I turn around scared to see Dr. Alexander. "sorry if I scared you. I just didn't want to disturb you drawing" I nod and state back at the ocean. "what do I have to do. To get you to trust me?" he ask sitting down beside me. I shrug. "I can...... Tell me anything. I'll do it" he says moving toward me. I back up a little. I nod towards the ocean. "jump in that? This early?" he says unbelieving it. I nod yes. "okay. Whatever you say He walks toward the ocean and I realize he has his suit on. He takes off his jacket first. Then his button up shirt. He then takes off his pants in which he only has a pair of boxers on. He is left in just his boxers. He runs toward the water "WHAT IF IT'S COLD?" he screams being scared. "JUMP ANYWAYS" I scream back. He smiles and walks toward the water. When he puts his toe in he pulls it back out instantly. I know it's got to be cold because last time it remember the month it was around November and that was 2 months or so ago. I stopped remembering when they said I couldn't ever see him till I told them. And I refuse to. Finally he gives up trying to ease in and just jumps. His head comes us fast and he slings his arms up "I DID IT! NOW TALK" He gets out of the water and walks towards me. "talk" No. I'm not. That was good but no. I shake my head no. "we can do this the easy way. Or we can do this the hard way" I say nothing "hard way it is" he picks me up and slings me over his shoulder. I try to get away but he refuses to let me go "AHHHHH" I scream. He quickly puts a hand over my mouth to shut me up. He runs into the water soaking me and him both. We are underwater. It's cold and light. I feel like I'm flying. Like I'm free. And I like it. I open my eyes to see Dr. Alexander looking at me smiling and laughing even though we are underwater. I smile a bit and swim up for air. He comes up with me. "so. Now will you talk?" he ask. I tell myself I need to but I know I can't. I shake my head no. He starts to splash me with water and dunks me underwater a few times. I fight back some and splash back. Soon I'm reminded of the time me and Kadence where on the beach. Sitting there until he decided to go for a swim. He lifted me up and we swam out into the ocean. We soon got into a water fight and filled each others ears with laughs. Smiles. And love. I loved him. I look up at Dr. Alexander. He seems to be thinking about something. Deep in thought so deep I can't tell if it's good or bad. I reach up and touch his face on his cheek. He shivers some. He inches closer to me until we are inches apart. I remember Kadence and remember the pain of losing him. I need to be numb. I need something else. Only Kadence can cure me. I get this idea. Alexander is looking at me now. I reach up and press my lips to his.

Living Crazy Chapter 1 Chapter 1 I crept up the stairs to reveal an old room. Seems to be the size of a normal shed. If even that. I walk slowly over to the normal twin size bed. With the normal bedspread and normal pillow. Nothing was un normal about this room. Everything was perfectly placed like someone with OCD would do. From the whites of the sheets all the way to the perfectly level picture frames. The canopy of the bed is the God awful green that reminds me of some kid who throws up a fairs. I wouldn't know though. Ive never been. Not even once. I lay my things down on the bed. A brown brief case, a notebook with canvas paper, and a perfectly sharpened pencil. All in order of size. All level with one another. All perfect. I straighten a piece of my long braided hair so it's even with the other side. Im perfect now aren't I? "well. This is it" the women with the bright orange hair and stained white nurses outfit. Makes me want to just rip it off and clean it. But I don't, I contain myself for now. "your room for the rest of your stay. You can't leave unless supervised by one of the medics. No visitors. No food in rooms. No television..." she kept on with the list of No's. not like I was listening. I don't follow rules. They should know by now. "and last but not least" the woman starts "You will report to Dr. Alexander each day until you are well. Understood?" I nod my head. I could understand that. Besides I'm mentally I'll. I can't help but follow rules. Chapter 1 part 2 I confuse myself often. Like I'm in a work of no return. The kind I don't want to leave but wish to smell or hear something different. I was normal once. When I was small. I didn't think of things like death or dark things. I didn't hear the small voices in my ears. Or smell the strange smell of blood. But I do now. I can't help but think of being perfect. I know deep down I can be... With help. I never talk. Not to anyone. Only myself and my unknown friends that have me in this situation. People think I'm crazy. I choose to believe I'm.... Different. The nurse walks back in with a try of strange objects I've never seem. Metals and plastics they seem. Im fascinated by them. What can they do? How do they work? A million questions run through my head. "be still and we won't have any problems" the nurse says. I didn't notice this about her the first time she was here, but she has green crystal eyes. Worry lines on her face. Chipped red painted finger nails. Her earrings are uneven on her ears which bothers me. And her ring is on her right hand. Widow maybe. Husband died now she works in this hell of a place. Putting up with crazies like me everyday. I nod at her words and sit on my bed. But lightly so the blankets aren't messed up. "okay hun. Be still. Don't move. And 1.... 2.....3..." She injects something in my arm. I automatically want to move and scream but she has instructed me no to. So I stay calm and still. Remembering that day on the beach. When I was with him. No worries. No pain. Nothing. Then I remember him being taken away from me. In the blink of an eye just gone. And what worries me the most is... I know their after me. Chapter 1 part 3 I start to remember him being took and shot through the air. Him yelling and screaming for me to run. For me to hide and never come out. I remember him being attacking and harmed on live TV. In front of all of the country. Humiliated. Disgraced. And still we don't know if he's dead. I start to shake and tremble "hun. Be still. Don't squirm. Listen child be still" I jerk away from the needle in my arm. She backs up some and I stare at her. Pleading her to get me away from here. I never say a word. I have to remind myself that if I talk I will be questioned about him. And Im not ready for that. I'm not ready for them to squeeze everything about that day out of me. They've already tried once and I refused to speak. Speaking has become an unknown thing to me. Something I don't even really remember how to do. Like I've been cut of the vocal cords. #life in silence. Living crazy. Seeming to know everything when in reality you don't. Funny world I live in. The nurse walks over and sits on the bed. "listen Ariel you have to cooperate okay? People here aren't like people in the old Americas. These are new times. And these people will kill you for no reason." I shake my head understanding her. And what she means by those words. She means You talk or we will be forced to kill you. And I know this isn't going to be easy. Chapter 1 part 4 *ﾟ I sit on the bed for around three hours. Staring at the ceiling. The wall. Some picture frames. Maybe other things that amuse my mind while I sit waiting. Dr. Alexander is known to be late. But three hours is a little much. I wait in the green chair that matched the canopy on my bed. Such an ugly color. I look over to see this small kitten outside of the window. Looks like its about to starve to death. I would bet so. Around here you don't get fed unless you are very wealthy. And most people aren't. Me on the other hand, I'm made sure to be fed and kept alive by the government themselves. They need me for information. Eventually they will get tired and kill me. But until then I will remain quiet. Unspeaking and as a perfectionist. The door behind me opens. "well hello Ms." he looks at his paper "Ariel. How are you today?" I shake my head. "oh. That's right. You don't talk. Is that true?" He makes his way over to the desk I front of me and sits in an oversized leather chair. I nod in return to his question. "not ever?" I shake my head no. Of course I've talked before. But after the trauma of the only person I've ever trusted and livened being taken away I haven't said anything. "so you walk around. Never talking. Speaking. Laughing. Just nothing?" I nod again. He makes this grunting noise. "well then why the hell did they send you to a damn therapist?" Did he just say those words? I think so. It makes me feel worried. I start to play with my arm band and twitch a little. "Don't worry Ariel Im not going to hurt you. I just don't see why they send you to me everyday when you aren't even talking." I nod in approval. He is right. I didn't just admit that did i? I can't trust these people. There like these self deprived starved from humanity mutts! Like off spring dogs and cats that no one wants! They are nothing but filthy animals out to suck my blood and all the #life from me. "Ariel. You're shaking an awful lot." Dr. Alexander states. It's now that I realize I'm trembling. That I can't help remember his face! I want to scream at him to one back to me! To be with me! I want to kill the people who did this to him and took him away from me! But I can't. I'm just some crazy girl. Or thought to be crazy. But what if in some strange twisted way. I was the normal one. And everyone else was twisted, and crazy. What would happen then? "Ariel. Calm down" I look down at the rubber band in my hands and it's torn to shreds. What have I done? Dr. Alexander comes to kneel in front of me. I'm not looking at him though. I am looking off in the distance not worried about him or his problems. He is searching me though. For something. Anything i guess. Anything to show I am okay. But i show nothing. "NURSES" he screams down the hall. He returns back in front of me. It's the first time I realize his green eyes and shaggy blonde hair. He isn't as old as I thought. Maybe 22 or so? He has the body build of an athlete. Like he played sports. Even though that isn't allowed. For some odd reason. I trust him. And I've never trusted anyone ex pet my love that was taken from me. I'm shocked by how much I trust him. When the nurses come in they see how much I'm shaking. How blank I am. How I'm just as good as dead. They put my on a stretcher and roll me down the hall at the speed of lightning. All I see is them screaming things to each other. I'm toward the hospital now. I can smell the medicine in the air. Dr. Alexander is standing above me. Running along with me. The nurse with the orange hair walks up beside me and sticks a needle in my arm. I can feel myself drifting away. And Before I do. I get two words out that are meant for Alexander "Help. Me" *** When I wake I'm I'm a strange room. It smells awful and it's a dull gray color. I look around and I'm startled by who sits in the chair next to my bed. It's Dr. Alexander. "good morning sweetie" he says handing me a tray of food and milk it looks like. This can't be real milk of course. We have none of that. After all that happened. "are you going to talk?" he ask. I shake my head no. I vaguely remember me talking but it wasn't meant to come out. "aw come on. I'll take you done to the beach. We can sit and watch the waves" I smile a little. I love the beach almost as much as I loved my best friend and love who was taken from me. It's a place of safety to me. "so you like the beach. I'll take you if you talk. Just once." I nod. I swallow. This is the moment. "okay" I say. Calm and normal. He then stands up and removes me from the horrible bed. We are walking out and I realize I have a robe on. Just plain white but better than a hospital gown. We get strange looks as we are walking down the halls. "yeah that's her the crazy one" I hear one woman whisper. So I'm crazy. I could understand that. No one really even cares about me.