Living Crazy Chapter 3 At first he doesn't respond to the kiss and my heart sinks some. Then his lips start to move with mine Only seconds later he pulls away and backs up some. "we shouldn't do this" he says looking down at the water. I know we shouldn't. I know I don't love you. But when I'm with you. I feel numb. And I need that. That's what I should say. But I don't. "please." is all I can muster up. "we can't. It goes against everything people around here are for" he says looking around to see if anyone saw the kiss. "so." I say as if I care. "so you dont get it princess. If anyone saw that me and you could both be killed on spot. The government doesn't want couples. Or children. Or anyone together for that matter. They want order. And that's what they will get" he says so harsh it hurts me to listen. "So what? So why should we care? Everything I HAVE EVER loved has been taken from me. EVERYTHING. Do you hear me? EVERY SINGLE BIT. I can't even remember the last time I laughed. Or even smiled. But you know what I do remember?" I scream at him. He looks offended at first. Then soon brushes it off. "what?" he ask. "you. Since I've got here you are the only one who hasn't stabbed me. Or poked me. Or even called me crazy. Everyone around here thinks I'm a lunatic! Like I'm completely insane! But you... You don't." He smiles. "it's because I think your smarter than half the people around here" he says. He takes my hand. "let's go dry you off. Then we can't talk about this." he says pointing between us. What he doesn't know is. There is no... This. Us. Together. I need him for one thing. To be numb. To be better. To forget Kadence and forget that we might of had a chance at #life before he was taken. Alexander gives me a sense of... Relief. Like I can learn to love him. Like I need him. Kadence is dead for sure. He must be. As we are walking back still interlocked hands he looks down at me "that kiss. It couldn't have meant anything to you" he says. "why do you say that?" I ask confused. "because. I know about Kadence." he says so calm. He starts walking again still holding my hand dragging me along. He grabs my drawing when we get to it. And then he continues to walk. "it did mean something" I say making him stop. "it meant I... I need you." I say dropping his hand. "but I dont think you need me. I'm bad news. Everyone I've ever liked is killed. It would be best if you just left now" I let go of his hand and begin to walk towards the housing part of the institute. "wait" he yells after me. I turn around to see him holding up my drawing "forgot your drawing" he says smiling. I walk back and grab it. But before I can't get away he grabs me and pulls me close to him hugging me against his chest. "babe. I don't have much to live for anyways. Might as well give me a reason to die" He smiles. Does he really mean that? "you weren't supposed to say that" I at blushing and looking towards the ground. "I'm not supposed to do a lot of things. But I do anyways." I lay my head against him. "thanks" Is all I say. It's all I need to say. He knows I need time to heal. That it's been a year but I still need time. And he knows he can be here for me any way possible. He pushes me back some "just call me Alex from now on okay?" I nod. He walks me back to my room and helps me find some new... Dry clothes. I make him leave so I can change and then I go to lunch. I'm sitting there poking a meat type of food when a girl with ponytails and high top sneakers walks up. "HI I'm Kali! What's your name?" she ask extending a hand. This guy with dark black hair and bright blue eyes walks up and sits down beside where she had. "Kali haven't you heard? She doesn't talk" he says biting his sandwich. "oh" she says "well everyone talks. Everyone you just can't not talk" she says getting worried. "Kali everyone can choose weather they talk or not. Except you. You talk way too much" She pushes him playfully. "shutup" she blushes. You can tell these two like each other. If not love. It's how me and Kadence acted. Lovey and playfull. How these two do. "so new girl" they guys begins "I'm Sam. This is Kali and this is our table. Although we don't mind company. Just don't let anyone else sit here" he says with a wink. So Sam and Kali. I liked them. I don't know if I could trust them. But I liked them. "okay" I say sticking food in my mouth. "SHE TALKS" screams Kali. I jump a little. "Kali. Calm down." says Sam. "She has ADHD. So the government sent her here. Otherwise she is normal." she pushes his laughing and mad "you aren't supposed to tel people" she says. "anyone within ten miles can tell Kali" he laughs hugging her. "I'm sorry" he says when she give him an angry face. "okay. I'll forgive you if you give me your cake" eyeing the cake. He grunts. "I guess...." he says handing it to her. She smiles and starts eating it. I continue to eat and watch these two. They smile at each other. But more is in their eyes. Not lust. Not wanting. But pure love. Love that they can't embrace because of this messed up world. Love that one day. Will die with them. "bye guys" I stand up about to cry at how these two can never be more than friends. At how I can never see him again. At how even if I loved Alex I couldnt be with him. At how this world is so whacked up I can't help but follow the rules. I run to my room and look at my daily schedule. Next I go see Alex. This is what I need. I get dressed in my clothes and braid my hair down my back. Long brown hair. My blue eyes bursting with color. My freckles showing more today. I walk down the hall to Alex's room. I open the door and find him looking out the full window to the ocean. "I'm here" I say is a whisper almost. Making my way to the chair and I sit down. "you know. I've thought about this morning." he says still looking out. "and?" I ask urging him on. "and. I'm.... I'm not too upset about it. I mean. If we ever got caught." he says finally turning to me. "my mom was.... She.... Died this morning" he says almost crying. I gasp a little. His mom was still alive? "oh. Alex. If I knew that I wouldn't have... I wouldn't... Never kissed you.... Oh I'm so sorry" I say standing up and hugging him. He doesn't hug me back though. He just stands there. And I understand what he's going through. His lose. The empty feeling. The feeling he doesn't know what to do with. "it's okay. You didn't mean for this to happen" He says running my back and finally returning the hug. "besides" he starts sitting me on the desk. "she lived her #life. She had a good one" he plays with a strand of my hair. "can we just.... Not do anything today?" he ask me. I nod. Besides I need sleep anyways. I can just go back to my room and sleep. "yeah I need slee-" That's all I get out before he presses his lips against mine. Hungry. Needing. Lustful. That's how he was kissing me. I soon kiss him back moving my lips along with his. He gets closer to me and hold me to him. I intertwine my fingers with his hair. He picks me up and sits down on the couch in the room. He starts to tug at my shirt and I realize where this is going. This can't happen. Not now. Not here. I pull away from the kiss. "no... Alex... Not now. Not yet. I can't" I say still trying to catch my breath. He sits up some. From hovering over me. "I'm sorry" is all he says. He loos out the window again. "it's okay." I sit up beside him and take his hand. "I just... Hate this place" he says emotionless. "I know. I wish... We could just leave. And never look back" I know this isn't possible. But everyone has a dream. "me too. Lets nap?" he ask looking down questioning me. "sure" I say laying down on the couch. He gets up and closes the blinds and locking all the windows and doors so no one can get in. He lays down and wraps an arm around me. "Ariel. Why can't you just trust me?" he ask. "I haven't decided yet" I answer before I fall asleep in his arms.