St. Elmo's Fire You shift in your sleep, your knee moving to rest against my thigh. You exhale, and I stiffen as you tuck your head beneath the crook of my neck. I tentatively inhale, your hair tickling my nose. I'm enveloped in your scent as I lie here, awake in your bed. Accoustic rock had lulled us to sleep, and later had woken us up. You must've turned it off at some point. I want to roll over, but I'm afraid to move. More than that, I'm afraid you'll move away. I would prefer to remain close to you, but I'm unsure if that's where you want me to be. I'm also unsure if I would be crossing a boundary if I got closer. You roll over, turning away from my neck. I roll over, turning away from you too. Your leg, however, finds mine again. © 2016 Vic Romero

Quitting Smoking Maybe we caught fire too soon Blazed too bright Burned too quickly To realize- We were too hot to last. We burned ourselves out, As fast as we ignited You used to make me so excited. My love for you brightened my mood Until you sucked out all my oxygen, Leaving me gasping for breath. I have nothing left to give At some point, you left me alone, In the dark Fingers singed from holding onto our fire For far too long Because I was hoping you would return To reignite our spark But not anymore. I’m walking out of this smoky, Ashy room And slamming shut the door Behind me. Time for fresh air. © 2016 Vic Romero www.unziptheselips.wordpress.com

I Think About You Everyday I've been rather depressed since my cousin's passing. Depressed, scared, and pensive about morbid things. I've been thinking about death...what was it like for my cousin to die? It makes me feel bad to think about that since the accident was so violent...but it also makes me sad to think about how her last feeling may have been fear. It hurts me to think she may have been in pain too, although the doctor said she died upon impact, but who really knows? Maybe they said it for our sake. I can't stop thinking about that and..I keep having flashbacks about her or I remember random things about her, it's so upsetting because they happen randomly. The other day, I glanced at a photo I sent to my sister of me doing a “thumbs up,” and I had a bizarre thought like how her thumbs were so weird because she was double jointed..she said she used to scare her friends when she did a thumbs up. Then I had a dream about her that night. It reminded me that she's really gone, which feels awful every time I remember. I wonder...did she ever fall in love? I feel terrible that I don't know the answer. I never asked, and she never volunteered that information. I hope she got to experience that...but at least she experienced the love from everyone that knew her. I always wanted to know what she was going to do next..would she become a cop? Make films? What would she look like old? It breaks my heart that I will never be able to find out. Additionally to the #depression that comes with losing a loved one, I've also been scared of more things lately, like crossing the street, which is all I do at school. I drove this weekend and I'm more scared of that too..cars in general I guess. Plus, today, a couple minutes after my sister and I left the parking lot at school, there was an altercation and one person had a machete and the other had a gun and they shot at a car and no one was hurt, but it's terrifying to think that if my sister and I stayed a couple minutes longer and the bullet hit us or something.. #life feels so incredibly fragile to me right now. I was talking to my therapist (I saw someone last week but it's not a regular thing at the moment) about how I feel it's scary to want to live because it feels like such a..precarious thing to want. Especially after all that's happened recently. Losing people is so difficult..I think it's one of the worst parts of living. I've also been contemplating the after#life and wondering what's wrong with there being no after#life? What if the deceased are just dead..? Why is it so important to people that we imagine them dining with God or something? I feel like it emphasizes how important we find #life to be. That we, as humans that live, can't comfortably think about an alternative to #life without imagining people being alive somewhere else, after they've died. Perhaps being dead is similar to how people are before they are born: nonexistent. Unless there's recycling of souls or something in that realm. I have so many questions, but mostly I feel sad. I wish my cousin was here. xo Vic

playing games "all this is, is a fling" i remind myeself as you grab my waist "all this is, is a fling" i repeat in my head as you hasten to pull your shirt over your muscular back allowing my fingertips to explore the expanse of your chest inhibitions we lack "all this is, is a fling" i feel the words form in my mouth but then your tongue pushes its way in knocking them out your body forces me down onto your bed and covers mine you seek to pull apart my threads "all this is, is a fling" i grapple with the meaning of those words because i constantly seem to forget my heart subverts these FUCKING words in my head your lips are kissing and sucking down my body my skin igniting where you touched you're torturing me both physically and emotionally why can't you fucking stay? why can't you please fucking stay? "all this is, is a fling" i clench my teeth when i remember that there is no future come the spring because you're leaving at the end of december "this is just a fling, Vic" i finally accept it and every time i do, i feel sick but then that feeling is quickly replaced with elation © 14 Oct 2015 Vic Romero (edited and reformatted) <> unziptheselips.wordpress.com for more

Your Last I hope your last emotion wasn't fear. Did you see it coming? I hope your last sight wasn't the glaring headlights. Did you run? I hope your last touch wasn't the hard metal nor the rough pavement against your cheek. I hope the last thing you heard wasn't the roar of the engine nor your roommate shrilly screaming your name. I hope your last taste wasn't the blood that flooded your mouth. Did it choke you? I hope your last smell wasn't the burning rubber when the truck left you behind. Did you suffer? I hope you didn’t. © 2016 Vic Romero RIP 3 Sept 2016