Up And Down This is constant. It's pissing me off. One day I'm fine and the next I'm all over the place. Had a go at my boyfriend. Upset my sister, obviously. Rahhhh!!! Need to get it all out, this is the only place I feel like I can. I feel like I'm trapped in a bubble and I'm about to fall apart. I know I'll probably be fine tomorrow.. But that's not the point.. I want to be okay now!! It's not fair, how is this fair that I feel this way. It fucking sucks. I suck. I'm a shitty human being when I'm like this, and I want to be nice. I just need to chill...

Sometimes I sit and try and analyse everything that's happened in my #life. Then I think, Is it really worth thinking it over again? Dragging all the guilt and demons and pain up? Or should I just get on with my #life how it is right now? Because now it's perfect. 3 years ago, I turned into someone I never thought I'd be. I lost everything that I bought was good in my #life. I lost my beautiful son. I lost my home and my family. I hurt a hell of a lot of people. So I figured. There isn't no point in analysing all that shit, because it doesn't matter who I was or what I lost, I am twice the person now to what I once was, and I have gained everything back and more. I'm such a lucky girl. I have a second chance to prove, not just to everyone else, but myself, that I can do this.. Look at me. I'm living. T xox

Today is a better day.. I feel more motivated.. I feel calmer.. I'm not so stressed, I'm not so tensed... Just got to keep pushing on through the bad days, Because at the end of a thunderstorm, There is a rainbow... And my God, I thank you, It is beautiful. The sun is even shining. Thank you Lord, For blessing me with this reward, That is mine, For sheltering me and guiding me through, When my last day was so bad. Times like this, I DO feel lucky to still be breathing. I'm alive, I have blips, But at least I'm alive. It'll be okay. I'll be okay. T xox

Another Day I've got through another day, I honestly think I'm here to stay. Today's been hard, I've been upset, But there's this one thing, I shouldn't forget. That if I can get through worse times, Today wasn't really that bad, Even though when it's over, I'd be ever so glad. I'm proud of battling through it, I'm proud of letting go, Of all the things that dragged me down, And made this horrid day go slow. Just remember if your struggling, And I know it's easy to say, That tomorrow won't be yesterday, It'll be a fresh start, another day. So keep the smile on your face, And whisper now goodnight. You, my love are so so strong, You got through today, you won the fight. T xox

I Don't Even Know I don't even know where my heads at today, All the good memories, Just fading away. Who I am? Who was I? Where did I go? What will I do? I really don't know... Flooded with fear, and regret and with shame, I don't think, I'll ever be the same. Years of abuse, Hurt and of pain, No wonder why my mind, Is far from sane. Days like today, I wish they would go, For I feel so alone, Why? Not even I know. I'm scared and I'm tired, Of all of these games, My mind puts me through daily, I feel so ashamed. Ashamed of who I am, Of who I've become, I've no one around me, I'm left feeling numb. So what do I do? Do I go? Should I stay? What have I got to do, To shoo these deadly thoughts away?