My cat doesn't like me much actually I think she hates me anyway through the day I try to win her infection but there's no luck yet. So one day I said "right screw you I'm nice to you I love you but you just run away so I'm finished being mr nice guy." The next day she sat where she always sits when I usually be nice but I walked to my couch so she sits even closer to me so I shoo her away. So she walks away like she's the Queen like I'll come after her I was like what you thinking kitty. At one am she came back and sat on my back I was like wtf "leave me alone its to early go away" so she stated purring really loud so I pushed her out my room and said "piss off kitty" so she scratched at my door for what felt like three hours Tell you more about my shitty kitty tomorrow

Roses Does have swearing Roses are red Violets are blue I loved you and Now fuck you

Archeologist How do you make archaeologist blush Give them a tampon and ask them what period it's from

Goodbye My friend is leaving so this is a goodbye if I see you in six months or six years you will always be my best friend always know you will have friends here with me

Little Critters "Your doing it wrong rabbit" said mouse. "It's meant to just fit in the hole." "It's called a key hole, mouse" whispered weasel. "now if you two can stop arguing for 5 mins, we'll have the lock picked and be in and out of this shop with all we can eat." "look" said rabbit, "if we had done what I suggested we wouldn't need to rob the shop, squirrel said he had loads of money from that vending machine he steals from. " "Very true" whispers weasel, ( it may be worth noting weasel always whispers, he thinks it makes him sound like Clint Eastwood, and therefore a tough guy ). "But three furry critters walking into a human shop and squeaking at them, money or no isn't going to get us anything." 'CLICK' "we are in" said rabbit. "yesss" hissed mouse. Anyone watching would have seen a rabbit with a weasel balancing on its shoulders pushing a trolley and a mouse in a striped shirt balanced on the front giving directions, anyone watching would have blinked a couple of times and gone home to bed because clearly they are over worked and need rest cos they going slightly mad. Unlike the furry trio who where quite happy with there lot...for now.