E. Disorder Staring at my stomach's reflection I see fat expanding through spikes and skin Thought my friends say I'm now only a fraction Of the girl I was and what I used to mean, I stand horrified, they're scared of my reaction As I can't believe I'm thin, My nights are stained with a pale white I stare at the wall as the night falls Dreaming about what it feels to see the light With an empty stomach, curled up in a ball This is the future I have in sight though I'm empty inside, Washing my face after purging in the bathroom stall.

Why? I should hate him For all he's done to me For all we've been through, crooked history Mystery, it's therapy when he smiles at me I see, in his smile, the past and the prospective Two sides to a story, the bright and depressive He held in his hand more than he'll ever acknowledge My twisted heart still hopes to get him back after college My mind still envisions a future with him I'd be getting rocks, he'd be spitting slim Two cute boys toking home grown weed That's the kind of parent I wanna be to my kids If only he was still by, if he'd wanted to make it work Give it a try But he never did, never will, never will And I'm high admitting this tale is unreal Wishing that once more his smile I'd see His touch I'd feel, his breath when he stood next to me It's been almost a year and it still stings My heart still complains when I'm told there's other chicks he rings There's nothing that could more joyful be Than my mind erasing all of he I should hate him For all he's done to me But I love him I'll always cherish his memory

I Learned Today I got to know we don't know the meaning of real That what our eyes see can be nothing but sheer appeal To questioning what's really happening inside our minds But thinking is disturbing so it self binds As comfort is priority, when the truth tries to approach The first instinct is to bash it like a cockroach

She How can she hate me more than I hate myself More than I hate it when I find the pot empty searching through the shelf She says I'm a monster with bloody hands And anything I do I'm on moving sands They're expecting, something they can't see Because I'll never be I don't think therefore I don't exist Existence is a dream surrounded by mist

The Third Eye The third eye, the other perspective The look when minds are reflective I don't want to be here, so it feels that My mind is setting me a mouse trap I happen to think the leafy green helps So I violently search for it through the shelves Finally I stumble across a blue bong With supply to fuck me up all night long What if my mom knew? Well what could she do? My mind is twisted with a dark blue hue Tried to colour it, didn't do I'm addicted to #depression Because it is my only passion It's my growing pain, my lyrics writer I'm insane if I don't have my lighter I'm a fighter, what I spit is plain cypher Thank you for making my heart bleed You planted the dark seed that I can never defy And high, I look at the pale blue sky Wishing there had been a you and I