My War Leanne, when I found out you was ill I buried my feelings in the sand. I brushed off the feelings of others! I blocked it all out. Kept positive, braved each day. Then we was told it was cancer and it was terminal so they were buried further. "I'm okay" I lied to my self. I smiled to the outside world, I cried inside. I was strong for you, for the family, but often wondered why no one who was strong for me, I'm not selfish just a boy loosing the one person I opened my heart to completely, the person I told everything too! My role model, my confident but most of all my friend. 2 months on, only for a few tears have hit my cheek, my head knows you've passed, that you'll never return but my heart just won't believe it. There's a war going on in me. Baring that same smile still to the outside world. Leanne I miss you. 1/10/2012

Dancing On My Own. I remember we were living like Kings and Queens In the little tiny castle made of hopes and dreams It was destiny, it was meant to be We were so complete, the perfect team And suddenly there's a glitch in the system And between us is a big strip of distance They say it's supposed to make the heart grow fonder For more like I can tell it couldn't be wronger I keep giving, you keep taking All dressed up nowhere to go So I'm dancing on my own I've been waiting way too long Dancing on my own But I give my all to you And that's all I hear from you... Not mine own writing; from the song "dancing on my own" by Pixie Lott #currentfeelings #sad #lost

Real #life In my dreams I'm waking up to roses, champagne kisses and I know its always, always going to be this way In my dreams your standing right beside me, two hearts finally collided then I wake up and realise, realise this is real #life.

Cancer always takes the nice ones

Crush Some how I knew it was coming, yet now that its actually happened I feel rather lost, in a sea of the words that you said to me. Okay, so I could never have you, I know this. But I did find you having no one else as a sort of sick comfort. Like I wasn’t the only one you was rejecting in a way. This is all over the top. however I don’t seem to be able to stop myself from typing these over exerted feeling. I’m going to blame you for all this actually, I didn’t even know who you were until you threw yourself at me. I was unstable and fell for the antics of your devilishly cute smile, and the sort of masculinity I seemed to get from you. With all this known to me, I still get that little spark when you look at me. Pretending to hate you to try and get you to notice me, Yes!! all pathetic. Telling you my feelings didn’t get me anywhere though, you just brushed them off. Never giving me a true rejection, my childish crush kept on to this. The time we spent together in the small bar by the beach, sat by the window; flickering lights above, and the#moonshining through the 60’s glass. That’s when I knew. I was falling for you. I tried to stop myself, knowing that one day this would happen. You seemed oblivious, or maybe you always knew. I mean its not like I ever hid the blushing smiles or the butterflies in my gut that I’d always get when you would give me that look…