Survivor Of Suicide I am a survivor of suicide. The guilt tears me up inside How can #life continue? I want to scream and/or hide. The searing pain at my heart is too much The lump in my throats chokes me My eyes are red raw from crying so much Yet I hear a voice in my head Is it here to help or torment? How do I know what you felt? You would smile and hug me and say you were ok You would tell me you loved me So why am I sitting here staring at your grave? It can not be true there must be some mistake Again I hear your voice in my head I'm angry that you chose to do this to me But I hear your reply I know it to be true You didn't choose your illness it chose you You didn't bleed, decline or waist away with your sickness You didn't limp or faint You got up each day hiding the pain A pain in your head that got worse each day The voice in my head reminds me It was a war in your mind With lots of battle scars But because they were unseen No one would believe They were real wounds Open gashes that couldn't be healed from simply saying be strong So you covered them up not knowing the harm You then lost too much, the pain was too much I understand that now I couldn't have saved you The mind's knife had torn away all reason Once again the voice tells me Your soul is beautiful It is pure and bright But the mind can hide, trick and lie The mind is powerful It can control the body But once you died your soul was free Free from that horrid pain Your soul can now see the beauty around once more I hear your voice of hope Hope, to help me find comfort each day Hope, to see you once again one day Hope, to find a reason to live with my pain Hope, that people understand it was a necessity to be released from your pain. Hope, that there will, one day, be a cure for mental illness.

My First Day In Heaven It wasn't my choice to go And I know it is a huge blow And if I had a few more minutes I would say I love them too much please let me stay But now I am here the love that surrounds me is unreal You cant even imagine how good this feels Anything less than perfect I would miss The love I had with you was sheer bliss I didnt know it would be this great And it is hard to imagine why I had to wait But the people left behind I know will struggle How will they get through this strange muddle? I can send you thoughts that I am fine And tell you will be forever mine I can give you hugs to say that I am still near But dont feel sad for me as I still love you dear I am now doing great and preparing a space Where we can party and it will be at my place But you have to continue that is how it works And it will one day become clear so it no longer hurts Until then love me but live your #life Remember my best bits and forget the strife Cry and hug each other for me if you must But on my love you can always trust I am sorry I cant be with you still But I know I have the better deal It needed to be something major to take me away But I know we will be together some day I love my family so much And I will keep in touch So dont be scared and wait for my sign Try to believe that I am fine.

Gates Of Hell ********** This is actually by my son for his homework but thought it was so good i would share. This is about Jesus going to hell and paying for the release of souls in hell. As it is coming up to good friday i thought it worth editing. ************ Falling, falling, falling Into the gate of hell Lava red from the blood sold Walls slimy and bold Towards the heart of hell we go Crying, screaming Squealing and more Sqwaking of the unfortunate poor Caught by the demons claw Squiggling, scruffling Squeezing past Running fast To avoid death's blast Caught by souls Like weights on my feet And swimming through sand Dry empty with sadness And the vision of sins deeper into hell we go Surrounded by souls Happiness fading Draggegd down by sadness Feeling of regret Surrounded and hopless Slicing the souls away The heart is near There is nothing to fear Satan is awaiting my prescence To go to God to accept my penance Charge for the heart of hell

Why Do Birthdays Mean So Much? Why do birthdays mean so much? It is not like a date you can touch When the stars and#moonand planets align A unique configuration made by one knowing divine We are but part of a faraway star Maybe an experiment to travel and see how far Energy contained within mortal bodies Similar but unique without any copies So why should we celebrate a birthday? When time is only relevant to an earth day Because the love we feel is all it is worth It is the only reason we have for our birth. So whether on earth or a soul on the move The love we hold has nothing more to prove But remember and celebrate we must To all join up again one day we trust A birthday candle lit on this day To show love lingers and does stay A gift from the heart placed in your hand Tells me your love was always planned