lost part three I come back up for air. I had to. Underneath the surface of the lake all I could think about was the past. And I promised myself that I would do that as least as possible. What am I supposed to do now? Go back to school where everyone looks at me, like I'm contagious or something. As if they get too close, they'll catch a disease. It wasn't my fault, ya know. It was theirs. I wish the whole world would just stop. I wish I could stop; breathing, even living. Walking back up to the house is dreadful. Dragging my feet through the mud, slowly, painfully. The house is empty, not a soul. I've been alone for the past six years. Not a person has bothered to check on me. I bet no one even knows that I'm alone. Why would they? I don't speak, unless I have to. & I yet have to find something worthy of my breath.

lost part two They're constantly asking me what's wrong, why I'm so distant, why I'm not as perfect as the other kids at my school. No one knows why I can't be "social." what if I can't -- what if I don't want to be. To all that's constantly asking what's wrong, here you go. I was abandoned. Left to drown in my own tears. The people that were built to love me, hated me. So, they escaped from my world. Neither left a trace. No strings attached, no way for me to find them. But, that's what they wanted. I didn't speak for the first ten years of my #life. Why waste my breath, when no one would listen? No one would even bother to care. There's your problem. Not a single person in my #life, bothers to care. Honestly, I don't even care. About myself, about anything and anyone. They knew I wouldn't scream. That I was the vulnerable one in the group. It was one party. The one party I went to in my #life, and it's the one that ruined my entire existence. No one even noticed I was missing. I'm just that invisible.

lost I walked down the stairs & stood outside. The rain pouring down my face -- completely lost. No one was willing to save me, either. It was all their fault. The reason I can't look in the mirror. The reason I hate myself, more than any other person could hate me. I walk out to the dock, and jump in the freezing lake. Thinking maybe, just maybe, there'll be answers down there. Best scenario, I never come back up for air.