Im standing at the fork in the road either path I choose my fate is sealed. As I look at my options, the directions I can go, can't help but wander into the land of "What-If". I've been here before; I practically lived my #life in this land. Its so easy to get lost in the twists and turns the land takes me through. Eventually I lose my focus. I don't know where I am or where I'm suppose to go. The feeling of hopelessness and confusion surround me, suffocating me. All I can do is look up, with my eyes pleading for guidance I look up. The sky is so clear, the distant stars look close enough touch. The grip of hopelessness loosens and I reach out my hand to the stars. The fog of confusion lifts, I navigate my way out of the labyrinth of "What If" and find myself back at the fork in the road.

Questions What do I do when all I ever feel is sadness? What can I say to get people to be my friend? What do I have to fix so I can be loved too? Where do I turn when I don't know what to do? Who do I talk to when the people I once called friends want nothing to do with me? I just feel... Lost

Stuck I'm kind of stuck in a weird place. I'm not hated by most but I'm also not loved. I dont really fit in but I'm not super weird. I feel like I am the only one who makes an effort in my friendships but at the same time I dont really contribute much. I'm stuck in the middle and I'm not sure which way to go to get out.

Final Goodbye I'm just going to smile to hide the pain I feel in my heart. I will always miss you and I will always love you. I don't know if I am doing the right thing by letting you go but like they say 'if you love something let it go..' So I'm letting you go. I know we both cried many tears tonight but maybe one day we will look back and see through this time how much we really loved each other. I will always be your friend and you will always be mine. I miss you so much but its time to let go and see where we land.

Selfish Friend #rant I really want to be supportive and congratulate you but honestly, I'm just sitting here thinking what am I going to do. I want you to be happy I really do I'm just sorry I cant be really happy for you. Though most of my feelings for you have gone away there is still that small part that aches with pain when you say her name. I apologize for being a crappy friend but I need sometime to adjust. So no more stories about you together, please no talking about your love, I can't handle anymore. Again I know I'm such a bad friend but sometimes I need to help and support myself before I can do that to others. I know our friendship is drifting apart and I know its my fault but I think its better this way so there will be less pain when we go our separate ways. It makes me sad to think that one day we wont be friends because we tried so hard to keep this friendship alive. Too many obstacles got in our way now there is a wedge driven between us that just might split us in two. Again I'm sorry I'm such a bad friend but i have to take care of my feelings too...