February 15th Pt3 I realized, it will probably be worth it. Because allowing someone to take care, protect and love you is the greatest manifestation that you can show you love Him as well. Allowing someone into your #life and letting him carve his footprints in it is like saying that you are not alone in this lonesome world.

February 15th Pt 2 I asked myself, "How can someone totally allow another to protect and support him?" Doubts and fears crept my heart, slowly consuming it. Would it not be fearful enough to allow someone to stay in your #life and witness the moments you are weak, strong, happy, sad, lonely and etc.? Because that someone might take it for granted and hurt you more. Why? And How? Will it not be total foolishness? It feels like you are digging your own grave.

February 15th Yesterday was Valentine's Day. My lover surprised me by going to my workplace bringing with him a lunchbox and a dessert. He made these foods. I remember we had a fight about something few months ago. A thought dawned unto me: the feeling of regret I must have had felt if ever we had decided ending up our relationship during those moments. We would not have happy moments such as yesterday if we had ended. We were both feeling it and got a bit emotional. I was so complete when I was with him, but then, he had to go because it was time for us to go back to our own little world called work. I felt empty the moment he left. Then, I realized how can the man I love be the source of both my fulfillment and emptiness? What a complicated thing.

January 9th I had fun. It's the first week day after I finished having my comprehensive exam. My students are lovable and cute as always. Earlier today, I started questioning myself as to why I decided to teach. Why I decided to pursue teaching when as a matter of fact, I have lots of other opportunities to take. I feel lost in teaching because the reason why I do it seems so vague to me. Today, my lover came over. He ate dinner with us and helped me set the floor mat we bought from the mall. We enjoyed setting it up--doing teamwork, lifting things together as we both say 1- 2- 3! Lift. *laughs* He also helped me with the screws that had been loosely screwed. I'm so proud he's my lover! ^_^ Overall, it's fun and enjoyable. *smile

January 2nd I have woken up at 30 am today. Yes, it's very early because my UTI had occurred again. I have asked papa to get a coconut cause its water would help ease the pain in I have felt. I have been very grateful to my dear papa. I have swam in a very cold pool at Loleng's. I was with my step mom, May-may and Angel. It was very cold and I love swimming in it. It has rained non-stop because of a low-pressure. Still, I have gone to the mall to do window shopping for dresses, undergarments and foot wears. I have also stumbled upon a familiar face. I couldn't stopped myself from staring at his face. I have realized that if I were to think positive and straight forward, my #life would have been a lot easier. I just hope that my views and dispositions about #life would not hinder my goals. Overall, this day have been very fun and interesting. Keep going and Love lots, self!