As I Sit I found this little #poem on the Internet and modified the words a bit to fit with my #life ... I hope all you wonderful readers enjoy! As I sit in Something, and watch you everyday, I try to let you know with signs, I never went away. I hear you when you're laughing, and watch you while you sleep, I even place my arms around you to calm you as you weep. I see you wishing these days away, begging to have me home. So I try to send you signs so you know you're not alone. Don't feel guilty that you have #life that was denied to me. Something is truly beautiful, just you wait and see. So live your #life, laugh again, enjoy yourself, be free. Then I know with every breath you take, you'll be taking one for me.

He's Gone 1 -------- This is it. He's gone. I won't see that crooked smile. The one that can brighten up your entire day. The one that did for me. I miss that smile. I remember, I remembered that I asked him to wait for me. I want to see him so badly. This morning, like every other day, I get up. My feet on the cold, glossy, wooden floor, reflected by the sun. I slip on some socks and drag Philip with me. Philip, he's always been here with me, always by my side. I think I can consider him as one my best friends right? The one that kept me alive. I drag my #life giving friend with me, all the way to the kitchen. On days like these, when the everyone is still sleeping, the sun is peaking out, I think. A few steps into the grass and i pause. I look up into the dreamy morning sky. "My thoughts are stars i can't fathom into constellations", I recite. That's right. I go outside and sit on the empty plot in my backyard. I shared this spot with Issac and …. him. No… No… stop… stop this right now. Every time i think into my happiest thoughts, it's with him. Why am I even afraid to say his name, I'm thinking about it right now. Augustus Waters. I miss Augustus Waters. There, I've admitted it. Oh yeah, that's right, when i think of his name, i miss him so much, it's excruciating to even think about. We made a promise that we'd wait for each other but I can't wait. There is going to be no more waiting. I get up, Off the moist grass. It leaves a stain on my pants, great. Step by step, one foot after the other. I walk into my house, "Hey, I was looking for you." I stay silent. I've been like that since… since my tragedy. "Your father and I will be out for a couple of hours alright, we've got to pick up a couple of things or this house will fall to pieces." She starts chuckling. Why is she even smiling, that's not funny whatsoever. I turn my head and pull Philip with me. "It's just me and you now huh, Philip." I keep that to a low whisper, the last thing I need is for anyone to start a conversation. The door closes. That's the last time i'll hear that ugly wooden door close. This is the last time I'll be sitting on this couch. Is this really what I want. Everything could end right now, all my pain. But what about mom and dad, what will they do. They did everything to keep me with them, breathing… and alive. Philip, what do i do. I'm sorry. I take each and every step into my room as a chance to back out. I tell myself, "you know you don't have to do this." I blink. "Yeah… i know." "This is for you, for you Gus. Okay?… Okay?… please answer me, i just want to talk to you or know that you hear me." I start tearing up. I probably look like a teenage girl that's talking, or more like sobbing to a wall. Gus, this is for you. My unstable hands reach up to my face. I tell myself, don't be afraid. Be brave. I unplug my tubes.

TFIOS #quotes Here's some of me and Augustus's conversations, converted into #quotes. --- “As he read, I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.” ― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars “My thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations.” ― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars “Sometimes, you read a book and it fills you with this weird evangelical zeal, and you become convinced that the shattered world will never be put back together unless and until all living humans read the book.” ― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars “I'm in love with you," he said quietly. "Augustus," I said. "I am," he said. He was staring at me, and I could see the corners of his eyes crinkling. "I'm in love with you, and I'm not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. I'm in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we're all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we'll ever have, and I am in love with you.” ― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars “You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world...but you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choices.” ― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars “What a slut time is. She screws everybody.” ― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars “Some infinities are bigger than other infinities.” ― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars “There are infinite numbers between 0 and 1. There's .1 and .12 and .112 and an infinite collection of others. Of course, there is a bigger infinite set of numbers between 0 and 2, or between 0 and a million. Some infinities are bigger than other infinities. A writer we used to like taught us that. There are days, many of them, when I resent the size of my unbounded set. I want more numbers than I'm likely to get, and God, I want more numbers for Augustus Waters than he got. But, Gus, my love, I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity. I wouldn't trade it for the world. You gave me a forever within the numbered days, and I'm grateful.” ― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars “The marks humans leave are too often scars.” ― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars “Oh, I wouldn't mind, Hazel Grace. It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you.” ― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars “Some people don't understand the promises they're making when they make them," I said. "Right, of course. But you keep the promise anyway. That's what love is. Love is keeping the promise anyway.” ― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars “The world is not a wish-granting factory.” ― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars “Grief does not change you, Hazel. It reveals you.” ― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

I'm Hazel Grace Lancaster I have no siblings and I am the daughter to Mr. Lancaster and Mrs. Lancaster, friend of Isaac and girlfriend of Augustus Waters.Who sadly died. I finished high school early and has already begun pursuing a college education. I don't really want to talk about it, but I am diagnosed with Stage 4 Thyroid cancer with metastasis forming in my lungs, but have almost managed to live with my disease owing to doses of an experimental drug called Phalanxifor (which does not actually exist). In the beginning of TFiOS, My mother decides that I am weirdly depressed and sends me to a Support Group, which I don't really want to attend. We meets every Wednesday, held in a church basement, referred to as 'the Literal Heart of Jesus' by their leader Patrick. I met Augustus and Isaac in the Support Group a few weeks after I joined in the 'Literal Heart of Jesus'. During that day in Support Group it was found that Isaac would undergo surgery and go blind in a few weeks. When I first talked to Augustus, he took out a cigarette and put it between his teeth, but did not light it. He said the words; "It's a metaphor, you put the killer between your teeth, but you don't give it the power to do its killing." I noticed that Isaac and Monica were making out and repeating the words 'always'. She later found out they had made a promise to always be together, and therefore they always repeated the words 'always'. In the early blooming of Mine and Augustus' relationship, Augustus compares Me to Natalie Portman in V for Vendetta, which I found strange. I may die, in a year or so, But knowing that my love Augustus is gone, is hard enough, I don't want to many questions, but that's me Okay? ......... Okay.?