SICK TIMES! After being fobbed off since 2005, poked, prodded and enduring numerous NHS cock ups, including lost records, and of course the surgeons personnel contribution of a burnt, torn mitral valve, I am finally about to get sorted. This is my journey from here 15/11 Off to Cardiff Spire to finally get sorted. Nervous but keen to get all this put behind me. Evening came, had a shower and then had to shave from the neck down. Great! Now I look like an oven ready turkey! 16/11 D-Day. Woke me up and was told they were going to put me to sleep#?!! Next thing I remember I was waking up in ICU with lots of pipes, tubes and wires sticking out of me. Felt like I had been hit by a train! To think my sister went through this when she was only 6 years old! 17/11 Pipe taken out of my throat that's it! I am breathing on my own. 18/11 Sat up in the chair and a quick wash. That's enough excitement for one day 19/11 Walked down the corridor and back. On the mend at last . More pipes and wires removed. 20/11 Managed 2 flights of stairs today. Is there no stopping this man!! 21/11 Told me I can go home tomorrow. Fantastic. Bit tired so I am going to take it a bit easy today. 22/11 Going home today! I have to say I feel like crap but I think I would prefer to be at home! 23/11 Progress slow but I suppose it's early days. It's started to hurt when I go for a wee! 24/11 Had a great walk with Anna along the front. Did really well and I think I can see light at the end of the tunnel. 25/11 Who extended the bloody tunnel! No energy and breathing much harder work. 26/11 Going to do nothing today. I suppose it will be like this now and again. Feel like crying! What a wuss! 27/11 Got up and decided to keep myself busy. Pottered around and cooked dinner for everyone. Big mistake! Ambulance to Bridgend 7.00 pm. Was told that the probable reason I nearly passed out was probably because my blood pressure had probably dropped with the heat of the oven probably, maybe. Clueless in other words. Sent home and told to rest. 28/11 Couldn't breath so Ambulance to Bridgend 4.00am confirmed fluid compressing heart. Emergency Ambulance transfer to the Heath with sirens and lights!!! Cool!! 11.20am Saw Prof on arrival then had Scan. heart drain 2pm 400ml withdrawn, approx 200ml left (clotted) very painful Put in bed 7 ward 3 CCU. Well looked after. 29/11 Crap sore night with little to no sleep. Scan and drain out 8.00 am. Really really really really painful! Friggen OUCH! Felt much better after. Anna came and freshened me up. She is so lovely to me 2.30pm Started feeling rough breathing harder 8.00pm temp 38.7 9.00pm another scan Heart rate 105 - 110. 9.38pm off for chest X-ray In A&E. Results - nothing to worry about! Started on strong intravenous antibiotic and Laxative 30/11 Ok nights sleep Temperature back to normal. Urine sample lost so I have to give another. Who's going to nick a pot of piss for gods sake??!! HG now 83. Off heart monitor Free to walk around!! Whoopie!!!!! Bollocks! Know where to walk too!!!!! Moved to the adjacent ward with 7 others. My new address is bed 17 ward 3 things are looking up. 11pm lights out and the snoring starts! 12.53am the guy next door but one stands up, takes his pajama bottoms off and then sleep walks round the ward shaking the other patients on the shoulder with his tackle dangerously close to where the snoring noises are coming from! I Called the nurse before he got to me! He was put back into bed to a chorus of farting from around the ward. Meanwhile, across from me there is a sleep eating addict! A long burst of snoring was followed by a sleepy hand grabbing biscuits and shoving them in his mouth. After several crunches he would swallow and then immediately snore again! What a fucking talent!!! The whole process went on until the entire packet of Rich T biscuits had been scoffed, then just when I thought the show was over, he opened his legs and let out an enormous fart!! They sent me here to get better????!!!!! 1/12 Got up had shower. Feel like crap! HG down to 71. Bit if a scare was at lunch time, as Anna walked in I got really confused. Didn't know where the hell I was or what day it was. Took a while to work things out but it all came back to me eventually. Bummer! Think I was better of forgetting! Anna has gone home now and I am left with the weirdos. All drugs have been taken for now and I am waiting for the blood transfusion. My thoughts of the other patients in here are as follows: Bed19 Nice enough chap but reminds me of Fat Bastard from Austin Powers! He is the one that sleep eats, snores really loudly and farts to match. He has 3 kids but unfortunately looks like he has eaten the poor bastards. Bed18 Bit of a strange one here. Spends all day behind his computer and doesn't speak. In #life I am guessing he is a teacher of physics or maths mainly based on his weird hair style. And note pad continuously in use Bed 17 Lovely guy what can I say, handsome, younger than the others with a great sense of humour. Yes of course it's me! Bed 16 Pleasant and quiet both asleep and awake. Great neighbour when you are ill! Bed 15 Strange one this! He is the phantom sleep walking streaker! At night he won't lie down so he just sits on his bed (apart from his night time excursions) Coughs farts grunts and shouts out undefined words. In fact there is no change between day and night. He just shuts his eyes on the night shift! Bed 14 Nice old man. Agrees with everything and everyone. Bed13 Unlucky for some! He was next to me in the other ward. Brought in with a heart attack and is recovering nicely after being shocked. I think this ward will be a shock in its own right! Bed12 This bloke has got the most depressing voice I have ever heard, he disagrees with everyone and everything and won't stop voicing his opinion. Even when he sleeps! He either shouting out, farting, or snoring. His favourite saying seems to be a disapproving 'do do do'. Who knows tonight he might perform all acts simultaneously! Seems anything is possible here. Bed11 Thought he was younger than me but I is beat him by a year. Poor chap has had a triple bypass but doing well My blood is here at last. Yum! This apparently will make the world of difference. Signing off for the next 8 hrs while I do my impersonation of Dracula!

The bright side Before a have my final breath And my living days are done I'd really like you all to know My #life's been so much fun I've had a good few setbacks But the good times always came I didn't dwell on bad times Cause there's know one I could blame! My lovely boys have been to me A joy in every way I am so very proud of them There on my mind each day. My sisters were both always there When #life broke and wouldn't mend The very best of family We're my very best of friends I have shared so many lovely times With people close to me And all have really made my #life The best that it could Not forgetting holly dog My friend through thick and thin Who loved her walkies on the beach And a rummage in the bin! Then of course there's Anna She's the butter on my bread My sunshine on a rainy day And the snuggle in my bed That lovely smile when I awake Will always stay with me I will love her till my dying day Then on through eternity When I've gone please read this rhyme And forget about #life's strife Take advise from a deceased man ......look on the brighter side of #life!

Poor Santa It's blooming freezing Santa said I need to get some sun My toes are cold my nose is blue And I can not feel my Bum! I'm moving Christmas onto June Who needs that silly snow! There's just one thing that I forgot. My blooming sleigh won't go!

The Big D-Day That day has come, it's here at last She's here all dressed in white That's why Tim is now sitting here With a look of utter fright Don't worry mate it's not so bad It really could be worse She could have got her brother To stand up and say a verse! They both got on the Internet And in cyberspace they met It shows he's not a gambling man Cause he really lost this bet But none the less the deed is done The ring is on her finger So I guess he'll have to accept the fact He's now married to a minger! I've finally got my own back From when we lived together And she would smash my model planes With her blooming dusting feather! Enough of this I'm being mean She's been a lovely sis to me So raise your glass and drink a toast Here's to Tim and his Debbie

D-Day I've been asked to write a little rhyme But keep it nice and simple So here's the tale of their special day And a dreaded wedding pimple! There it was upon her face All red and full of puss And everyone was running round trying not to fuss They tried and tried all sorts of things To make it go away But nothing worked it still remained A blemish on her day I'll save you Debs, and when I'm done You won't look like a hag All you really have to do Is wear this paper bag! Tim then turned and said to me As he gratefully shed a tear Have you got any more of those Say - Enough to last a year! So here they are about to have Bucket loads of fun My #poem now runs out of words But their journeys just begun