#depression I begged for the pain Begged for a release But it doesn't come The pain has ceased I fight with the razor I keep in my hand I know you love me But you don't understand I need this razor to cut my wrist I need to make bruises on my legs with my fists It seems so wrong But it feels so right I wouldn't care if I stopped my heart tonight They say it's "just a phase" and I'll "get over it" But you don't how hard I struggle To make myself believe it I try to be strong but I can't be what I'm not I want to hold on with everything I've got But I don't have much That's the problem with me Everything I have Only exists in my dreams But then again I have The best thing of all A person who loves me Who can catch me when I fall I know I won't feel this way forever And I know I'll be happy I'm alive But why do I want to end this #life so badly And destroy everything that's inside

My #life Time goes by and I'm alone Don't know what to make of anything Living on the edge of something I don't even believe in Stand alone but stand tall It's impossible bc I fall I trip and stumble to the ground And have no way to get back up You say it will be ok I don't believe your lies You try to convince me its worth it But I am not satisfied Tell me I suck Tell me I'm worthless Say that I'm no good I know I deserve it

My Fear The agony it brings to see tears of pain run down his face Knowing I have but a few seconds to be with him Trying my best to hold myself together, to be strong for him My seconds are up and I was useless I couldn't help my love My attempts to be strong were broken There was a feeling I couldn't shove Tears filled my eyes as he walked away My vision was blurred and I felt myself stumbling Thinking "Why him? It should be me. He's done nothing to deserve this pain." I hope this path continues, but I will not walk alone Until I see him again, my #life will never be done

Daily "Focus on the present, on one good thing. Focus on the beauty there could be and strive for that." This is what I tell myself everyday.

End I want to leave forever I'm so tired of this world I've been blessed in my #life But I still want to die The way I am should have never been I don't deserve good, just let it end The world's not perfect, neither am I That's why it's a curse to be alive I try to be better, to be alright But that's just me living a lie I want this to be over Just let me say goodbye #life's lost all meaning And it's not what it should be I drag myself to reach the end I don't deserve you, my only friend Sometimes in my mind I beg for you to save me But it wouldn't be worth it I deserve this, this suicidal end