Is It Me, Or Them? I'm not usually the type of person that shares his #life to the public. But, me and my parents had this argument, and no one wants to admit that he/ she is wrong. Should I say sorry to them? I mean, they're my parents and all, but is it always me who has to say sorry? 2 days ago we were in the car. Everybody was having fun and my older sister was laughing. It was one of our best memories, or as I hope so. After my older sister's bestfriend left the car became silent. My younger sister was asleep in my older sisters lap and I'm snugged there at the side looking outside the window. A lot of thoughts were rambling up in my head and it occurred to me one thing, I was never the favorite. Although I was the only guy offspring my mother and father have created, I was always the understudy. My sister, whenever she fails something would get nagged on. But afterwards my parents would show her sympathy. My younger sister on the other hand was the apple of the eye. She's smart, uber talented, and beautiful. She was always the main concern of the family (mainly because she's the youngest) and was always the one that can make our parents smile. She would cry whenever she has even a mistake in the exams and my mum and dad would come and swoop all of the sadness in her eyes and give her the comfort she needs. She was a scholar in the most prestigious school in our city, and she was given private vocal lessons. She was "snobby", a term I wouldn't use in front of them. But, you get my point right? Anyways, she was given the utmost care, a carpool that will take her to and from the school, given the best education in town, coached by the best vocal instructor (that costs my parents more than 400$ a month), and is given clothes, shoes, and any other thing they deem cute to look at to her. For them she was an angel. Now let's go to me, I'm the middle child, and the only dude in the family. I have spent half of my #life being the youngest, and I felt those treatment she felt when I was her age. I'm smart and just like her I study in a prestigious high school meant for students with great abilities in Math and Science. But, unlike her I was a full scholar (the government pays for my education along with a stipend) while my sister was only a 1/4 scholar (because my parents would pay 3/4 of her annual debt in the school, and trust me when I say that it costs around 2,000-3,000$ a month). Besides that I'm also talented; although, I have never really outgrown my shell. You see, I only sing inside the school, where my parents are nowhere to be found, and inside the bathroom, whenever I'm the only person in the house. It's not a big of a deal for me at first. But, whenever I see the smile on my colleagues faces whenever I sing, it gives sadness inside of me knowing that I can't do it in front of my own family. I feel that they do not know the entire me, and who I really am. For them I am just a shy guy who loves books and plays the computer often. I don't think it's not my fault that I'm shy in front of them, because they are like gum, once you eat it, it becomes more and more delicious and you get that awesome tingling in the taste buds. But after awhile the gum loses its flavor, and you end up with a gum orgasm that's just left there hanging... I guess what I'm trying to say is that when you perform in front of them they mislead you to thinking that you're good and after awhile they start to criticize you and tease you or shut you up whenever you perform in front of them. So, I stopped. They're not entirely mean parents. But, I feel like I could never reach their standards. But, I don't know, they're dynamic! One moment they care about you, the next day you're like this human trapped inside an invisible cloak. They're so hard to predict. But, I guess what I'm trying to say is that: Am I the bad son, or are they the bad parents? I forget the keys inside the room and they yell at me, I do something good they criticize me, I say hello to people I know and they start to tease me, I try to become a good son to them and they just ask me "what do you want?". It hurts just thinking that they think I'm just here just because of their money. I know that sometimes I can be seduced by money. But, it hurts to think that they think that when the time comes when they're all out of cash I will leave them for a better family. I'm not like that! In my head I always think of scenarios, scenarios like, "If I win one million dollars I would build a house for my parents and give all of the things my sisters want." or, "Someday, when I become an architect I will let my mum, dad, and other family members travel the world.". These imaginations in my head are crazy, I know, but, these insane imaginations are what's keeping me sane right now. I'm not thinking about myself. I always think about them. Heck, I would give both my kidneys for them. But, they seem to never understand, Sometimes, I think that my parents only sees the wrong doings I create. Sometimes, I think that if I was not born with this brain they would just give me up for a piece of chicken, I'm emotional, and compulsive, and I'm always anxious. But, this feeling is always here, it never disapperead. And the more I live, the more it grows. I got a little off course; but our debacle was just all about a pair of jumper. You see, on the 5th of November were going to have our cosplay (which serves as our 1st quiz in the 2nd semester) and my parents wouldn't buy it because they say it's too costly. But, as I was looking out that window I remembered my younger sister, and the stuff my parents buy her and give her. And in my head i'm like, "I guess I was never the favorite.", Don't say that it's just shallow, becuase it's not. Because all my #life my parents never bought me anything. Sure they have bought me clothes, but that's it. And to make matters worst they stopped buying me clothes when I was still in my fist year in highschool (13 years old), and now I'm on the third year! Ever since then I was the one buying my clothes. The only time my parents were there to buy me stuff was only during the start of the school year, that's when we buy our school supplies. Other than that I have to beg them if I want something. So who's the bad guy here; me or my parents?
