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Siân Parker💗

I have two cats and writing stories, cooking, unicorns, shopping, onesies, chocolate and popcorn

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  • 10 posts
  • Female
  • 01-01-70
  • Living in United Kingdom

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Siân Parker💗 profile picture
Siân Parker💗
Translate   10 years ago

Will You Be There? You say I can trust you. With all my secrets and pain, I've heard it all before, You're just the same. Will you be there? But you might be different. Maybe I can rely on you, Maybe you'll be there, When I need you most. Will you be there? When I'm all alone. Tears streaming down my face, When I need a shoulder to cry on, Will you be there? But will you still be there at 3am? When my wrists are stained red? When I need a shoulder to cry on, Will you be there? At my funeral. When it's time, When I finally let myself go, Will you be there?

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    Siân Parker💗 profile picture
    Siân Parker💗
    Translate   11 years ago

    I'm Sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry I lock you out of my #life. I really can't help it. I don't want to hurt you, Or let you down again. I'm sorry I cry so much. I really can't help it. Things are hard, Even though it's going well. I'm sorry I'm not like other girls. I really can't help it. I don't have friends, No matter how nice I try to be. I'm sorry I hate myself. I really can't help it. All I see is flaws, when I look in the mirror. I'm sorry I'm depressed. I really can't help it. I don't know what this is, Or how it came into my head. I'm sorry I hurt myself. I really can't help it. It's the only way I cope, With the demons in my head. I'm sorry I killed myself I really couldn't help it But I'm no longer in pain. I'm away from it all now, But I wish someone would have saved me. This is a #poem I wrote when I found out I have #depression and I started harming myself. I did want to commit suicide a lot. But I never did, I still have #depression and I still harm but it's getting better.

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      Siân Parker💗 profile picture
      Siân Parker💗
      Translate   11 years ago

      Forgotten. Chapter 3 When my "family" returned none of them even looked at me but Jenna asked if I wanted to go shopping with her the next morning. I said ok so we were on our way to our local shopping centre but with no speaking. Jenna finally decided to break the silence. "So your father told me about earlier, sweetie," Jenna had a habit of calling everyone sweetie. "And while we were out we had a chat," "What about?" I asked, curious. "Well we know that you aren't happy, and I'm taking you to a counsellor," "No! Jenna please don't!" "Your father asked me to," "You don't have to do anything he says!" "Yes I do," "Why?" "He'll tell everyone my secret." I decided to ask her about the secret another time. We sat once again in silence until we reached the counsellors office, where we were greeted by a skinny blonde receptionist, I looked at her name tag which read Kylee. She looked like she was a model but was getting just a little bit too old. "Hi welcome, do you have an appointment?" She asked cheerily "Yes I'm Jenna and this is Amber we have an appointment for 10:30." "Ah yes have a seat Dr Robin will see you in 5 minutes, he's a little later than scheduled today." The waiting area was empty and silent except for Kylee's computer clicks. When I finally got to see the counsellor, Dr Robin, she asked what was wrong "Well Amber has been really depressed and has been flairing out for no reason whatsoever," replied Jenna "Well Mrs Green you can wait in the waiting area," "Okay Amber be good." With that Jenna left and it was just me and her. Dr Robin made a face with a big grin and beady eyes, "So Amber just lie down here and let me ask you a few questions," "Ok" I said, anxious "When do you feel happy?" "I don't," "When was the last time you were truly happy?" I froze. Should I tell her about Aaron? No, I was very happy then but it only lasted a minute. "I don't know," I had a flashback of when I was little. It was with mum and dad. We were laughing and playing. "Was it before your mother died?" She asked my sympathetically. I felt a tear sting my eye. I got up and ran out of the office passing Jenna on the way out. So here I am. In the tree house again where I met Aaron. I'm curled up in the corner crying. I notice that Aaron has added some chairs and a small table to the hiding spot in the woods. "Amber?" I heard a voice call out. "Amber is that you?" It was Aaron. "Yes," I sobbed. "Are you okay? I'm coming up," he called back So I saw him climb up. He came over to me and sat down. He held me and stroked my hair "What's happened?" He asked. I was about to reply when I heard a crack, I looked up at Aaron. He was pale. Then another crack, Aaron pushed me out of the tree house. I fell the five metres to the ground. I looked up and saw the tree had a huge crack in the middle. Then suddenly it collapsed.

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        Siân Parker💗 profile picture
        Siân Parker💗
        Translate   11 years ago

        Forgotten. Chapter 2 Dad came up to my room and spoke to me. "So the girls told you huh?" "Yeah," I replied "You will love the new house it's huge and..." I cut him off. "Dad I can't move," I said sadly. "Why on earth not?" "I was born here," "You were, yes but the new house has much more room and with Jenna and the girls we need it," "Dad" "What?" "We can't move because...," "Why? Why can't we move to a better home" "It won't be a home, it might be to you and your new family but it'll never be MY home. My home is here, where Mum was." I watched my fathers face, it was sad, I saw a single tear fall. Then all I could see was anger on his face. "AMBER! WE ARE MOVING HOUSE IF YOU LIKE IT OR NOT, IT IS NOT YOUR DECISION. IT IS MINE TO DECIDE WHAT IS BEST FOR OUR FAMILY! "DAD! DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND! EVEN THOUGH YOU MARRIED JENNA THESE PEOPLE WILL NEVER BE MY FAMILY!" Dad smacked me across the face after that. I ran as fast as I could to get away from him. I ran and ran until I reached the forest where I remember spending summer afternoons up there with Mum and Dad. I didn't care that it was getting dark and cold, I kept running, blinded by tears, then I had bumped into something and I had fallen to the ground. When I looked up I saw a boy I had never seen before offering me his hand, I took it and dusted myself off. "Are you ok?" Asked the boy "No it's a long story" I explained "I don't really want to recall everything right now" "I'm Aaron, and you are?" "I'm Amber," "That's a lovely name, I love the name Amber" I giggled. "Are you this charming to everyone you meet up here?" I asked. "Nope only you." We found an old tree house and talked for awhile, he made me forget about my father and his new family. We talked for hours and he leant in for a kiss, and unaware of what to do I leant in at the same angle and we bumped our heads. We giggled "Have you ever kissed anyone?" He asked "Honestly, no" I replied "Well then follow my lead, I go one way you go the other, ok? I nodded and did what he said then all of a sudden we were kissing! It was magical. Then he pulled away, "wow you're a natural at this!" He stroked my face then leant in again. I was about to do the same when we heard a noise, it sounded like Dad's car, Damn, I thought why now? "Aaron, I have to go, will I see you again?" "Yeah I'm always up here," I started to run back to the house. When I got there I let myself in with my key, only to discover that no one was home. I found a note saying Hi Amber sweetie we have gone to get ice cream we won't be long! Great I thought I've been left out again.

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        Usagi

        It was good but I felt it went a little to fast:/ but it was good..
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        Siân Parker💗

        Thanks
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          Siân Parker💗 profile picture
          Siân Parker💗
          Translate   11 years ago

          Forgotten. Chapter 1 I'm Scared. I'm all alone. I have no friends. My family hates me ever since mum died and dad remarried. They don't even care about me, if they did they would have came looking for me. It all started 6 months ago, when mum died of cancer. I loved her so much, it was always just her dad and I ever since I was born, so it was a huge shock when mum died. The funeral was two weeks later, it rained all day. I read the #poem out loud that I wrote for her when I was little and I cried all the way through. Dad didn't even show up. I got a lift with one of mums old friends. When I got home dad was just sitting on the sofa not doing anything. He was just sitting there. The house seemed strangely empty without mum. A month later dad met another woman called Jemma who was in her late thirties and she had two little girls Brooklyn, 8 and Juliet, 4 from another marriage. Dad fell in love again and married Jemma, Brooklyn Juliet and I were bridesmaids. I hated it. When Dad met Jemma he started to neglect me and he clearly loved Brooklyn and Juliet more. Dad put in a swing set, slide and two hammocks for them. No one even notices me anymore. I always thought that that mum and dad would always love me no matter what. I guess I was wrong. School wasn't much better, I had no friends, no one noticed me I just stood at the edge of the playground on my own. On my 12th birthday Jemma dad and the girls just carried on normally I thought it was best not to mention it incase there was a surprise party for when I got home. There was no party. 3 days after was the end of the school term, when I got home dad and Jemma were packing things away. How odd I thought. I went up to my room to get homework for the holidays over and done with, when I heard a knock at my door it was my stepsisters they told me that "we are moving house to a house somewhere far away, I can't wait." I was mortified. I hurried the girls out of my room and talked aloud to myself. How on earth could I leave this place? waborn here. Mum

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          ♡Amy

          Can't wait for chapter two!!👏💕
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          Siân Parker💗

          I am currently working on it but it will be a while
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          Siân Parker💗

          @thefaultinourchoices chapter two Is up now!
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