Crave.
7#
The only environment I'm comfortable with. My home. Yellowish-white paint, broken picket fence, and dry dusty Poison Ivy's, safe-guarded with green vine, pale green swords poking out of it.
Why did I leave? I could have stayed, I would have been normal. Hmm. Normal. I could have met a man, seduced him with my smile, convincing him to marry me. We would have had children, 2 little angels. One boy, and a little girl for him to protect. All I wanted was a picket-fence family.
Snap out of it Xavier, I tell myself. Your too damaged for someone to fall for you.
"This place looks familiar.." Zara mumbles.
"All the houses in Cutter looks the same, remember?"
I try not to give our
location away.
"Hmm.."
I knock the door.
An old lady opens the door, a little girl resting on her hips. Her hair was stained with streaks of silver, her face looked tired, and her body plump.
"Oh my goodness.." She whispered.
She knew it was us. Of corse she knew.
"Zara, my baby, you've come back!"
Zara shocked by the words realised who she was speaking to. She ran into mothers arms, head resting on her pillow-y shoulders.
What's happening. Ma was supposed to shoo her away like a dog, diseased with rabies.
Why was this happened?
The little girl was now crying, confused of what's happening. Xenia. She was just 4 when I left, I was 19, the exact age Zara was when she left.
How old was she now? How long was I gone?
"Hello Ma," I mumble, wondering if she would notice my presence.
She looks at me and smiles.
"Your a good girl Xavier. You told us you were leaving. You sent us money every month. Thank you love,"
She hugged me next, pushing Xenia over to Zara's hips.
I was a good girl.
Was I?