How To Rip Wings From An Angel Chapter3 Dear diary … why do I feel so different why am I so alone do I belong here are these people my family? I was so angry and the more I thought about it the more rage filled my small body why didn’t anyone care? ​I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling at this point I’m about to starve an I wouldn’t be eating anytime soon I could hear the loud and obnoxious voices of immature men pouring down the hall and drowning my ears their conversations were pointless and nothing more then babble a few hours in to their disturbing screaming and shouting things began to calm down I could still hear their voices but they were a lot calmer I heard Paul say my name and I was immediately interested I jumped off the bed and put my ear to the door they were talking about sex but what is sex I heard one of the men say “my wife won’t give me any” then I heard Paul say my name again only this time his voice lowered into a mumble and I didn’t hear what he said the house fell silent so I went back to my bed a few minutes went by and I heard them moving around they were coming down the hall their footsteps were heavy I could feel them `like small earth quakes rattling every bean of my body what were they doing? My heart began to beat faster and faster until the knob turned and my heart dropped Paul walked in and five other men followed for some reason I was disgusted by them and the way they were looking at me with eyes that told me what was about to happen. “I told you” Paul said “she is a pretty lil thing” another man muttered. I knew in my heart something horrible was about to happen the smirks and heartless giggles as they came closer only told me one thing Paul wasn’t the only one that wanted to hurt me all of these men had that look in their eyes, the same look Paul had in his eyes the first time he touched me. I was sickened. Paul came to my bed he forced me to lay back while he stripped me completely naked. The other men were laughing like they couldn’t wait to see what he you do next. It seemed as if they found my fear amusing. Paul reached in his pants and forced his way between my legs he began to make love to me again. Tears fell from my eyes like water from a fall. I tried to close my eyes and imagine I was someplace else but the painful laughter and the unbearable force of Paul between my legs make it impossible to escape reality. I opened my eyes and looked around some of the other men were playing with themselves. Paul continued to make love to me but he began to pick up speed the faster he went the more painful it was. all of a sudden he stopped. He grabbed me by my long black hair and held my head in front of him “open your mouth” he said. I didn’t open my mouth I was scared of what he was about to do he jerked my hair hard and said again “open your fucking mouth”. I opened my mouth and closed my eyes tight with fear. My mouth was filled with hot sticky goo. The tastes in my mouth made me want to vomit. He let go of my head and I fell backwards into the position I was in. the goo slid down my thought and made me choke I started coughing and goo was coming outta my nose. Paul took a proud step back and grabbed the man playing with himself on his left. This man was older he had a beard and his clothes were dirty, he looked nervous. “You ready to get some of what your wife won’t give ya?” Paul asked the man “hell yes” he replied. The nervous look on his face seemed to transform into confidence as he dropped his pants. He got between my legs and picked up where Paul left off. The other men were cheering him on as his body pounded against mine. How many of these men were willing to violate humiliate and degrade me? My body was begins to go numb my vision was fading along with the sound of their voices …………… darkness I woke up with the taste of goo still in my mouth. I was unsure what had happened, maybe I passed out. I sat up to observe my surroundings. I was in the floor in the corner of my bed room completely naked and covered from head to toe in goo. I didn’t recall anything that happened after I passed out, but I had a good idea what happened. The thought of what those men did to me made me sick. Underneath the goo that lined my skin like oil on water my thighs were severely bruised. I tried to stand; my legs were like limp noodles. I made my way over to a mirror that was on the back of my door I was disgusted by what I saw. I was dirty I was a disgusting sex toy I looked down at the floor I could bear to look at myself any longer. I opened my door slowly and dashed to the bathroom to wash the filth off my skin it was early in the morning around 7 Paul was in his room with the door shut. I ran bath water and as I slowly sat down the water stung me but at the same time it was comforting to get this stuff off me. I started to think about my situation images started to fill my head not only was I disgusted by those men but I was disgusted my myself also. Who was I to go to? My mom wasn’t there. Who was going to listen? Are all men like Paul? I felt helpless and afraid. What would he say to me when he woke up? Then it hit me, I’ll run away. I can go to the tree house I won’t have to be afraid anymore, no one will know where I am. It seemed like a great idea at the time. I didn’t want to be around when he woke up. The water in the bathtub was cloudy white and pick in color I could no longer see through it because of the blood and goo. I let the water drain and I turned on the shower to make sure my body was clean. I got dressed and grabbed my sisters old backpack and got busy filling it with things I thought I would need it was now around 8:30 Paul would be awake soon I walked out onto the back porch I slung the heavy bag open my back and quickly disappeared into the thick woods.