Everything Hits You Hardest At Night It's quiet in my head except for the light rhythms reverberating from my headphones. I didn't have to press play since the music continued playing. The sound is light and honest like the buzzing of the bumblebee feeding on the nectar of tulips. There is a damp road outside my window with cars passing swiftly with warning as the cops grow suspicious. My feet are pressed against the wall. The wall is slathered with regular white paint. Not eggshell or cream but typical white. Sometimes I see the wavelengths of the songs I play float around me. I tell people I'm not crazy. I wish they could see what I see. They can't see the thin bands of blue or the bass line of the music in maroon, bouncing on and off my faux wood table. The glow of the computer screen is washing over me, my skin feels jagged and dry. I touch it slightly, just grazing the surface. I often need to remind myself that I'm still here, blinking morse code. It's scary though that I can still feel after all. I mean, I am human and humans feel! What a silly thought that they might not be able to. But the agony of loneliness feels unnatural. I look around and see objects caught in the shadow casted by the street light. They are here with me as I am alone. I'll finish typing away on my keyboard to complete the work waiting for me. It will lack compassion and love though, sorry. It won't have your frills and joyful starry occasions on a Thursday morning. It will just be the canvas of a web browser and a blinking cursor, waiting for my instructions. My partner in crime is the music lost in the depths of my ear canal. And me? I'm lonely, waiting for someone's voice to become wavelengths in front of me. I was told I would hear the sound at 1:38am, and it would just say hello and hang up. Now that's not nice and not nearly enough to satiate me. But it will help the loneliness turn into nothing. The "hello" will accompany my thoughts and all of my stresses as I stay awake at night. I invite you to watch closely as the wavelengths dance around me, additional thoughts unwelcome.
