Space Girl 2 years ago, I was at the doctors sitting on the paper covered, sterile examination table. I could hear my doctors footsteps coming closer. Click, click, click, click, down the long hall. She gently knocked on the door twice and sang a happy "hello" as she entered the room. She smiled at me and then looked down at the manila folder she was carrying. I was staring at my feet. Still and staring. Wishing for good news but preparing for bad news. She gently opened the folder, the jolly smile dripping off her face so slowly as she flipped through the pages inside the folder. Her eyes lost that happy glimmer and her brows furrowed into concern and pity. "So, Ariana, I wanted to explain some things to you. All the tests you were concerned about have come back negative..." And she smiled again. "The pain you are experiencing is coming from endometriosis. 1 in 10 women in the world have this disease and its usually passed through the mothers side. So your mom probably has it too" her smile faded once again. "So heres the bad news, Ariana. You have a lot of scarring on your fallopian tubes and uterus, as well as having only one functioning fallopian tube. The chances of you becoming pregnant on your own are very low." Cue the smile. "There are options. You can chose to have in vitro fertilization....." And then I stopped listening. I let the sound of the doctors voice hum on in the background, while I mentally left. I flew up, up, up, far away from here. Far away from the sterile examination table, far away from the blinking fluorescent lights, far away from all the emptiness. I flew into the clouds and then past the clouds, past the atmosphere, into space where it was quiet and lonely. I stayed there for a very long time. "Ok Ariana? There are options. I'll give you this paperwork that I've printed out on all the subjects" But I wasn't there anymore. I was in space. I stepped down from the table and floated down the very long hallway, I floated out of the building and into the parking lot. I found my husbands car and sat inside. "What did they say?" He asked "She said the pain is from endometriosis" I answered dully. "What does that mean?" My husband asked. "It means, tissue grows where it's not supposed to, then it rips out and causes scars, the scarring makes it hard for eggs to inplant..." I repeated robotically. "...oh" he said. "Its ok baby, we're alright, just the two of us. You'll be ok," and he smiled too. Except, I wasnt there. I was still in space, floating, flying.