I can't feel my legs. That thought used to make me panic, now it's the norm. I used to be a runner, I was the best at my school. That was before the accident. Now I have nothing. I sit in front of a computer everyday, wishing that I could at least walk again. Feel again. Instead I'm stuck in a metal chair as cold as my heart has become. That were so many things that I was going to do, that I could have become. I hate the way my father looks at me. He feels that I'm in this aweful chair becausr of him. But it's not his fault. No matter how many times I tell him this, he won't believe me. He comes to my place a lot more than he did before the accident. He tries to do everything for me. I feel so useless. I don't see my best friend that much anymore. It's hard to do what we did before. They have a new friend to hang out with. One that can do things that I can't. I can't help but feel bitter. I know it's not their fault and they aren't trying to make feel this way, but I can't help it. I'm so frustrated. While I was at my physical therapy session, my therapist suggested that I met someone. The person was a girl a little younger than me. She and her twin brother were attacked. She ended up in a wheelchair, never to walk again. She was the lucky one though. I watched her as she fought. She fought to become strong and she had the hope to be able to walk again. A hope I had lost long ago. It was amazing to see her trying so hard after sonething so terrible. Trying for something so hard. Trying for something that would probably never happen. She knew it probably won't happen, but she still tried. I feel courage and hope by watching her, but I also feel guilt. Guilt for giving up and drowning in my self-pitty. I am wasting my #life hiding behind a computer screen, when was so much that I could be doing instead. It angers me that I let being in a wheelchair take over my #life. Even though I can no longer walk, doesn't mean I can't do anything.