Translate   9 years ago

Monster What have I done? Day and night I try to fight this beast inside that I can't deny. This monster within, under my skin, Constantly fighting me and I think it's winning. I can hear it laughing at me as it grins. Saying why fight you always give in. You hold on for a moment and you fall right back in. What's the point of reaching out for a hand to rescue you. You might get out the hole but you seem to always fall right back in when you think you have a slight of freedom in front of you. But your just a fool. Always gathering courage within, convincing your self to fight 'I can win' but your just dooming your self more as you fall right back into your sin. It's like the more I push on my own I sink deeper into this hole. As if quick sand was the foundation I was planted on. Every push I make brings me right back to the same place. To the point that I have given up on running this race. Has the monster won. Am I never going to see that finish line. The ribbon stretched out waiting for me to pass through it. My #life is ruined, imprisoned by my lust and pride, #depression seeping deeper into my soul bring a feeling of sucide that starts to knock on my door. What have I done? Every turn I make brings me back to this place. Will I ever be able to finish this race? What have I done? I can't seem to leave this place. Is this just a dream? Why can't I wake up? Why can't I push away from this nightmare I seem to live every day? If only I can run away from this monster within. But to do that is to give up my #life because it's impossible to live with out the monster within. Is it possible to live with out a heart? But if I do get ride of the monster then does the monster win?

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