Love The One Your With Lynn sighed to herself as she pulled the last pair of jeans out of the dryer. 'So this is my #life?' She threw the jeans in the large laundry basket. The put the basket on the folding table behind her. She began folding the clothes. She was only on the third task of today's to do list. Which included scrubbing the bathroom floor because mouse (Maddys cat) had thrown up everywhere in there last night. She lifted a blouse out of the basket, grabbed a hanger and slipped it on it. Maddy would have a shit fit if her school clothes weren't hung up. Maddy was Lynn and Charlie's 15 year old daughter. She has always wanted everything her way even as a child. Let's face it most women do. Maddy was nice about it though. She was just a little OCD about things. Which isn't a bad thing, but it makes a lot of work for Lynn sometimes. Though it saved her some work too. She continued on sorting through, folding and hanging up clothes. She set them all in the laundry basket, then lifted it and set it on her hip as she walked into the kitchen. As Lynn walked slowly through the kitchen, she scanned as she always does to see what needs done. There were dishes in the sink from the kids breakfast. Mouse had made a mess with her food and water dishes. the biggest mess was island where half eaten food still sat. She made a mental note and added it to her to do list for the day. Though that will have to be dealt with sooner rather than later. Maybe after the clothes are put away. She stopped briefly in the foyer she loved this part of their house it was one of the things that made her fall in love with the place. It was her house, as far as she was concerned. She smiled at the memory. She did all the work to get it. She did the search for the bank to finanace them. She looked through dozens of sights for the best school district, they didnt have kids at the time but they knew they wanted some so of coarse they wanted a great school district. Lynn had narrowed it down to 2 districts, and 30 houses. She and Charlie then got it down to Hamson district. So that left her with 13 houses to cyber tour. It had taken her 4 months from starting her little project till she finally had it down to 5 homes. Then her and Charlie got it down to 3. So she made the calls and set up the appointments to see their possible new home. So on Jan 16th they drove up to the first of the 3 homes they would see that day. The home actually looked very similar to the home in "Home Alone". Even down to the 2 car garage, though it was a bit smaller. Charlie opened the front door and held it for her. He always did those types of things, he was sweet that way. She walked in and was immediately standing in the dining room. She found that odd but tried to keep and open mind. They walked to the right and found the living room. "Is there a family room or den also?" Lynn asked the realtor whom she also picked out. Becka Nobel answered with a small smile "There is an extra room that the previous owners used as a sort of den." Lynn slightly nodded. Becka led the way as she walked clacking her heels on the hard wood floors. They exited the room back into the dining room which had a small hallway leading straight into the kitchen. Charlie smiled, "You would love cooking in this kitchen!" She looked around tons of counter space which helps a lot when preparing meals. Though there wasn't anywhere to put a small table or even stools to be able to sit in the kitchen. She then noticed sliding glass doors. Lynn and Charles, which is what he was known by everyone else but family, peered through the doors. She saw a small deck leading to an above ground pool. That would be nice. Then out of the corner of her eye she saw the hedges. Which outlined the whole back yard. They had to be 12 feet tall and in a couple bare spaces she saw fence behind it. With eye brows raised she questioned the realtor. "Did the neighbors not get along around here?" Becka looked away slightly, "No the previous owners did that they put the fence up and then got tired of the way it looked so put up the tall hedges. I think it gives the yard an ethereal look to it." Lynn then thought their children being caged in like prisoners. She looked at her husband, " This isnt the place for us can we go to the next one?" He gave her a comforting smile and nodded. They were at the next home in 5 minutes. As they were exiting the car the realtor came walking towards them. I just got a call and the owners got an offer on the home so unless you can go 20,000 more they are going to sell. Some realtors were shady and would do this sort of thing to get a better comission, and Lynn had a feeling that was what was happening. She gave a quick look to her husband then said to Becka " No thank you we can just look at the next place." with a slight smile. Within 10 minutes Charlie and Lynn pulled up to basicly their last hope. It had a good sized garage and a carport attached. She immediately loved that idea. It wouldnt be an issue because they lived in Georgia so weather was pretty nice most of the year. Plus they lived without a garage for the last 3 years so they know how to make due. They began walking to the front door, just then her eyes stopped at a single swing in the large tree in the front yard. She was already falling in love with this house. They entered the foyer to the left was an office which was right beside the stairs that had a slight wind to them. She always loved that type of thing in homes she saw. The realtor started on her list of qualities of the home. "There are 4 bedrooms 2 and a half baths, a finished basement where one of the bedrooms is and an entertainment room down there also. Laundry is off of the kitchen in a small mud room. " As she spoke they began to walk through a slight passageway into the kitchen. "As you can see the kitchen is very large with an open floor plan connecting it to a sitting area." The kitchen was amazing a good deal of cupboard space and counter space. There was even an island which on one side was marble countertop like the rest, with a country style sink, and the other side was butchers block. She gave a quick glance to the mud/laundry room, it will do. She turned to see the sitting area which was also nice on the wall between the rooms there was a large window that over looked the yard whee there was a pool and about a half an acre of yard with no fences or hedges. Just next to the kitchen was the door to the basement which she took the chance on running down there to take a quick peek, as Becka had said there was a room which could be described as a den with a small bar attached and on the other side of the basement was a cozy room, and everything was finished as she said. . Lynn walked back up the steps, where Charlie was asking all the normal questions about the home. So she cleard her throat signaling she would like to continue with the tour. so they made ther way back to the foyer wher they turned left and walked into the living/dining room. She had seen so many before she wasnt interested in seeing any more. So she herself decided to keep the tour going by heading to the steps, she paused breifly to look arounnnd her , right there in the foyer the ceiling had to be 14 feet high with the hand rail rounding off at the end of the stepps eveything about it was inviting. Right then she fell in love with HER home. Chapter 2 She stood there smiling and remembering everything about that day. She shifted the basket and secured it on her hip. She continued her way up the steps. When she got to the top she headed left to Ethans room. He was also at school but you wouldnt know. His music was blasting away, and his tv was on the history channel blarring also. Lynn set the basket down on his unmade bed. Then again it was always unmade unless she made it. Actually his room didnt ever really get clean unless she did it. He was pretty different than Maddie. He cleaned up just not his own room. Lynn did that once a week. She didnt dig too deep though because a 13 year old boy does need his privacy. She learned that the hard way. She decided under his bed needed done. She found magazines she really didnt want to see. She freaked at first but after talking with Charlie she calmed down. It was perfectly normal for boys his age to mature and if he wasnt then she should be worried. So from then on she did the light work and if it got to bad she would take his phone away for a day till he cleaned up. She sighed to herself while picking up the garbage from his night stand. The various food wrappers and Mt Dew cans. Which are actually a new thing for him. She never allowed the kids to drink products with caffeine in them till they turned 13. He just turned 13 in May, 2 months ago on the 15th. So now h drinks Mt Dew everyday. She organized his desk, then proceeded to put away his clothes. She looked at them as she put them away, they all looked pretty worn, which is funny to her because they aren't more than 6 months old. He was growing so fast these days she was always having to buy clothes. He liked the "skater/punk rock style so all of his clothes were "distressed". it never made sense to her why she bought new clothes that already had holes in them. He liked them though, and she always gave them free reign to express themselves. She finished putting everything away and tidying up, so she picked up the basket and started out the door shutting the light of as she left the room. She only walked about 5 steps before deciding to put the laundry down and clean the bathroom that Maddie and Ethan shared. It was usually pretty awful. With Maddies makeup and cosmetics everywhere on her side then a big pile of clothes on the floor, and tooth paste and hair gel all over on Ethans side. She pulled the cleaning rag and products from beneath the sinks. "I bet they don even know they are there." she said to nobody. She put the clothes in the hamper threw away the garbage and wiped down the sink. Thinking all the while how she should have made them do moe when they were younger. When she was young he did everything, literally. She had a younger sister who she practically raised since her father would disappear for days at a time. So she learned early if things needed done she had to do them. So when she had kids of her own she always taught that she would never put that type of responsebility on them. Which blew up on her because now they had practicaly none. . She had finished wiping everything down and was now rearranging verything to fit in the drawers. closing the drawers eyed the door then pulled it shut . She locked both of them the pulled the tiny baggy out of he tiny pocket where he tiny spoon was also located. She looked at herself in the mirror. "oh dont look at me that way I dont do it all the time I have shit to do and it has to get done by me because noone else will do it " she said to the woman looking back at her. putting the spoon in twice, once for each nostril, then closing the bag putting everything away and checking her nose. In reality she did it damn near everyday, not all day but usually at least once It was nobodys fault but her own though she started long before she met Charlie and had kids. She never did it when she was pregnant though. Not that she thought she was doing anyone a favor by staying clean just because she was pregnant. She just wanted to give her child the best possible chance starting out and being completely healthy. So she did without. She didnt start back up right after either . Though by the time Ethan was 2 she had done back to doing it quite regularly. In her mind it simply helped her to function better. Lynn turned around, grabbed the knob and pulled the door open as the rush hit her. She was now turbo mom. She picked the basket up again and walked to Maddies door. She opened it and walked in, the room smelled of a mixture of pear and jasmine. The two scents that made up her favorite, and Lynns, perfume. Far away from avon. She walked over to Maddies organized closet and began hanging up the clothes. Lynn actually didnt mind the clothes her daughter wore. She had somewhat of a bohmian style. Yet also a litte touch of punk. With a splash of femininity. She always looked great too. Her daughter had really great style. She should know because they dress very similar. As she hung up the remainder clothing she heard n the backround, very quietly, music playing. She approached her daughters bed and saw that she had left her ipod on. Being the curious mother she popped in the ear buds and heard some Green Day playing. She smiled, as she turned the ipod off, and set everything on the night stand. Maddie liked main stream music, actually she loved all kinds of music. Though seceretly she was very fond of rock/alternative/punk music. Lynn always liked that because she felt that she had influanced her music choices. She straightend up around the room, not that it was messy, it was just a habit. Plus Maddies wouldnt be home till tonight. She was meeting a group of friends after school for pizza. It would be the same small group as usual. Maddie, Brock, Addison and Jason. It is basicaly double dating but that was how she got around the "No dating till your a senior" rule she had made. So this was, Maddie pointed out, its not dating its just a group of friends hanging out. At least they keep to the "only public places" rule. Lynn placed the last of the clothes in the small dresser, took a look around and felt satisfied with the room. Picking up the now empty basket she left the room. She paused outside of Maddies room. Looking across the hall and banisters to her and Charlies room, with master bathroom. God she loved her house. She took the 6 step it was from Maddies door to her own. She walked in and imediately wanted to cry. This room, to her, felt so lonely and depressing. She spent a good amount of time up there. She slept up there, she read up there, she did alot up there in that room on that bed. Just not what should be getting done up there in that room on that bed. She felt so alone. Things arent that great with her, as in her eyes and in her brain. Her kids were amazing, she had her dream home, she was healthy and was aging well. Even her husband was a great man. He never hurt her, he treated her like a queen, her needs always came first. He was a great dad, and sincerely loved his kids. Yet she was not happy. The worst part is she couldnt tell if it was that she was unhappy being with him, because she was a messed up person and knew he deserved better. If she was miserable with herself and where she was in #life, where she had saw herself in this time in her #life. Everything felt like it was crashing in on her. Then a day later she was a little better and was ok for a while but all those feelings always came back and made things hard for her, on her and her famly. She was absolutely misserable inside, most people feared death, she welcomed it. She would never do anything to hurt her family or do something they would live with forever. Though every day she woke up and wished for death. She strived to be a better wife and mother. Doing everything for her family. It just wasnt enough for her. She felt as if she was losing herself and her mind. to doing it regularly her child , she wanted to give him or her the best ng to do She smiled again remembering everything about that day.