Pride & Ego __________ Warning: DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE VERY EASILY OFFENDED. If you do read this and then decide to tell me that you were offended I reserve the right to humiliate you in a rebuttal that will take you many decades to recover from. If you insist on telling me that you are offended please make sure you provide me with a well thought out and coherent reason, for your own sake. __________ You'd think that I would've won a Nobel prize for science by now wouldn't you? I did invent science after all. I invented atoms, gravity, microwaves, the duck billed platypus. I invented everything and and when you think about it, everything is science really. Chickens. Nothing but science. Erections, science yet again... Burt Bacharach.... You lot though, you have terribly low standards. Some guy hypothesised the existence of something called 'the God' particle and then decades later some other guys discovered it after having spent billion of dollars trying to do so. So you give a Nobel prize to the guy who hypothesised about it. Meanwhile, a couple of hundred years ago some geezer noticed that things fall down when not held up by other things. That guy gets labeled as one of the greatest scientists that mankind has ever produced. Seriously. Meanwhile I created the Me particle and as mentioned above I created gravity. What the fuck do I get? I get the blame when there is a hurricane in North America. I get blamed for AIDS. Basically, I get blamed for the bad science but even then you guys try to take credit for it. Take the Richter scale for example. The Richter scale is a means to measure and determine the magnitude of an earthquake. It was named after an American geologist, a Mr Scale, apparently? Once upon a time an earthquakes magnitude was decided upon based on how angry a man in a funny hat thought I was. You guys always fuck up science. I created the atom so that you guys could have an abundant and clean energy source but no, you guys decide to create the atom bomb and then proceeded to drop two of them on Japan. For the record, despite wiping out 99.9% of all #life on earth by flood I have never once dropped nuclear weapons on anyone. Not even Satan. It is not just the sciencey prizes I get fucked over on. I also constantly get screwed over when it comes to the Nobel prize for literature and culture. Let's take a look at some facts shall we. When I created you ungrateful sods I made sure to give you arms and hands. I done this so that you had the capability to write. For those who I decide shouldn't be born with arms and/or hands, because I am a cruel bastard apparently, I give them legs and feet. I do this so they they too can write with at least one type of appendage. For those whom I bring into this world who I decided not to give limbs to, I give them a mouth. A mouth which can hold a pen. With that pen they can write words. Words which I gave to man. I wrote the fucking Quran. Fair play, I didn't physically put pen to paper. I said words unto some guy called Mo. He didn't write down those words either because despite me giving him to arms, two hands, two legs, two feet, and a mouth, I forgot to give him the ability to read and write. In hindsight he wasn't exactly the ideal candidate to bestow the word of Me unto but he was a resourceful guy and luckily found someone who could write down the things I said to him. Long story short: "By pride comes nothing but strife, But with the well-advised is wisdom." -Proverbs 13:10, The Bible. #god