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God

Father. Inventor. Smiter. Bob. A satirical take on the wrong God. Just to clarify for those who don't know what words mean, I am not really God. Zeus is.

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  • 01-01-70
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God
Translate   11 years ago

3 John 1:13 The spam has returned after a short reprieve I can't be arse with it so have decided to leave This is my second goodbye because of this tosh I would not come back here not even for dosh The drivel is unbearable It clogs up all of the feeds Once for beautiful words Shit ones implore me to leave So this is my last goodbye Sayonara, auf wiedersehen, goodbye I know I am shit at poetry James Bond is a spy. (I can be found on Tumblr - theblindsilenceblogs Reddit - theblindsilence Kik - blindsilence1)

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Teddy

Maybe it will pass.. I'm gonna have to get me a tumblr!
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chickgamer

Facebook suddenly looks a lot better 😣
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    God profile picture
    God
    Translate   11 years ago

    Pride & Ego __________ Warning: DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE VERY EASILY OFFENDED. If you do read this and then decide to tell me that you were offended I reserve the right to humiliate you in a rebuttal that will take you many decades to recover from. If you insist on telling me that you are offended please make sure you provide me with a well thought out and coherent reason, for your own sake. __________ You'd think that I would've won a Nobel prize for science by now wouldn't you? I did invent science after all. I invented atoms, gravity, microwaves, the duck billed platypus. I invented everything and and when you think about it, everything is science really. Chickens. Nothing but science. Erections, science yet again... Burt Bacharach.... You lot though, you have terribly low standards. Some guy hypothesised the existence of something called 'the God' particle and then decades later some other guys discovered it after having spent billion of dollars trying to do so. So you give a Nobel prize to the guy who hypothesised about it. Meanwhile, a couple of hundred years ago some geezer noticed that things fall down when not held up by other things. That guy gets labeled as one of the greatest scientists that mankind has ever produced. Seriously. Meanwhile I created the Me particle and as mentioned above I created gravity. What the fuck do I get? I get the blame when there is a hurricane in North America. I get blamed for AIDS. Basically, I get blamed for the bad science but even then you guys try to take credit for it. Take the Richter scale for example. The Richter scale is a means to measure and determine the magnitude of an earthquake. It was named after an American geologist, a Mr Scale, apparently? Once upon a time an earthquakes magnitude was decided upon based on how angry a man in a funny hat thought I was. You guys always fuck up science. I created the atom so that you guys could have an abundant and clean energy source but no, you guys decide to create the atom bomb and then proceeded to drop two of them on Japan. For the record, despite wiping out 99.9% of all #life on earth by flood I have never once dropped nuclear weapons on anyone. Not even Satan. It is not just the sciencey prizes I get fucked over on. I also constantly get screwed over when it comes to the Nobel prize for literature and culture. Let's take a look at some facts shall we. When I created you ungrateful sods I made sure to give you arms and hands. I done this so that you had the capability to write. For those who I decide shouldn't be born with arms and/or hands, because I am a cruel bastard apparently, I give them legs and feet. I do this so they they too can write with at least one type of appendage. For those whom I bring into this world who I decided not to give limbs to, I give them a mouth. A mouth which can hold a pen. With that pen they can write words. Words which I gave to man. I wrote the fucking Quran. Fair play, I didn't physically put pen to paper. I said words unto some guy called Mo. He didn't write down those words either because despite me giving him to arms, two hands, two legs, two feet, and a mouth, I forgot to give him the ability to read and write. In hindsight he wasn't exactly the ideal candidate to bestow the word of Me unto but he was a resourceful guy and luckily found someone who could write down the things I said to him. Long story short: "By pride comes nothing but strife, But with the well-advised is wisdom." -Proverbs 13:10, The Bible. #god

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    Rathe2745

    People need a scape goat.
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    God

    @Rathe2745 a scape goat for what?
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    🌴Sammie🇬🇧

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      God profile picture
      God
      Translate   11 years ago

      Matthew 28:3 vs Me 7:25 "His countenance was like lightning, and his clothing as white as snow." But what the fuck does this all mean, I bet nobody fucking knows! (#quoted words are from Matthew 28:3, New King James Version of the bible) #god

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      Teddy

      And everywhere that Mary went, he was sure to go
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        God profile picture
        God
        Translate   11 years ago

        Ezekiel 28:10 "You shall die the death of the uncircumcised By the hand of aliens; For I have spoken,” says the Lord GOD.’” Nope. That wasn't me. That was David Icke I believe. (Ezekiel 28:10 taken from the New King James Version of the bible) #god

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        Lillian O'Phean

        Funny that I can't find it in the Bible.
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        blindsilence

        @burntmuffin147 it isn't. It's a bit worrying really. It's not as if I didn't provide the name of the book, the chapter and verse.
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        blindsilence

        ... or the version of the bible.
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          God profile picture
          God
          Translate   11 years ago

          Luke 7:44 "Then He turned to the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave Me no water for My feet, but she has washed My feet with her tears and wiped them with the hair of her head" He stayed for lunch too and that was just as mental. Because the woman had no food to share with him she served him a bit of kitchen table, 1/3 of a pan, and deep fried fork. For dessert they had her speciality, spatular and bowl. (The bible passage #quoted is Luke 7:44, from the New King James Version of the bible) #god

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          Lucius Lannister

          A "The Great Book of Nonsensical Nonsense", or: the bible, as you so say.
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          Usagi

          Would you even want to eat if your feet smelt soo bad that you had to wash them every meal because you had to walk all the time and you only wore sandals? I mean if you like extremely gross smelling stuff by you when you eat I totally understand..
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          blindsilence

          @sumie Jesus had a donkey.
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