Love #quote: Chapter 3 - Diamond Ring “He was gonna propose to me,” I told my best friend, Carmela, one afternoon. “You’re not even sure of it yet Pearl,” she told me then. It was a chilly autumn semester and all I was focused on was Jake’s proposal. I’ve finally admitted into a college and am on the road of being in the Criminal Justice Forensic Science program. Jake and I talked things out before and we decided that getting back together was the best option for the both of us. I was telling my best friend that 2 months ago, Jake and I were thinking of the married #life. Then Jake had a change of attitude and became serious. He said he wanted to tell me something, but as he was about to say it his phone rang. He looked at me after the phone call and told me that he had to go. He never got the chance to actually say what he wanted to tell me that time. I’ve tried not to mention it to him since that time, but I was so certain that he was going to propose to me. “Pearl, you can’t just jump to conclusions like this,” Carmela told me. “I know that Melz,” I replied, “but it’s an option and a possibility since we were talking about getting married and settling down that time we were talking about it.” “Pearl, I worry about you sometimes,” she said as she laughed. “Shut up Melz,” I replied with a giggle, “I worry about you too.” That night, Jake and I were talking as usual and I just happen to mention about what Melz and I were talking about. I wasn’t exactly sure if I should remind him about what he wanted to tell me before, but I was thinking of starting it off slowly. We talked about how his day was and how his week was going to be hectic this time. He said that he might not be able to talk to me as much as how we’re accustomed to talk since he was going to be really busy. Then I started to work my way up to what he wanted to tell me 2 months before. “Remember when we were talking about getting married and settling down before?” I asked him. “Yeah, why?” he was a bit shocked by me remembering, but he had a smile on his face; I could tell by the sound of his voice. “Well, you wanted to tell me something before and you got all serious. But then your phone rang and after that you never spoke of it to me anymore. I was just wondering what you wanted to tell me that made you seem so serious about it after talking or settling down.” There was an odd silence on the other line. I knew he was still there because I heard him breathing, but somehow he didn’t want to reply. “Hello?” I ask seeming as if I didn’t know if he was still there. “Truth is,” he started, “I really don’t remember. I’m sorry Pearl.” “It’s okay, don’t worry about it.” I didn’t know what else to say after that. We were both silent and it was as if we’ve lost everything we wanted to talk about. As I was about to say something, he sighed and told me that he had to go. As soon as we hanged up, I called Mela to tell her all about the awkwardness. “Melz,” I nearly screamed over the phone as she answered it. “What?” she screamed too only in a concern tone. “I mentioned it to him but then as soon as we stopped talking about it, he just grew this awkward silence.” “What did he say when you mentioned it though?” “Well, he said he didn’t remember. Then he apologized. But there was something that bothered me.” “Really? What is it?” “The awkward silence after that and the rush to go, it was the same thing he did before. I don’t know and maybe it’s just me, but I think something’s wrong with him. I’m scared Melz.” “I know you’re worried Pearl, just take a breather. I bet it’s just his mom or some kind of family emergency. And as for the not remembering, maybe he’s just dealing with so much right now. Don’t get yourself so worked up for it.” I was able to breathe a little easier that night after finishing my talk with Carmela. I drifted off to sleep after doing my nightly routines, but I didn’t enter my usual dream world. I fell into a nightmare. It started off with me sitting in my room expecting for him to call, but he never did. It wasn’t such a huge deal at that time, but as days grew into weeks my paranoia started to kick in. I got a cab to surprise him at his house and excitement rushed into my system like adrenaline. But when I got there, I was the one who was surprised. I had walked into a make-out session in his living room. I thought it wasn’t him at first, but as soon as I looked a little closer and stood in front of the blaring TV facing the long loveseat, I realized that it was Jake and a blond haired girl. I screamed and rushed out of his house. I expected him to chase after me, but he never did. I went back inside the house and into the living room where I had found him. That’s when I noticed that Jake and the blond girl wasn’t just making out, she was pregnant! I had jolted out of my sleep then. It was about 3AM when I had woken up, but my cell phone was ringing. As soon as I answered it, someone on the other line hung up. I looked at the caller ID and it was Jake. What does he want to talk about at this time? I thought to myself. It was unlikely of him to call that early in the morning unless it was something really important. Just then I remembered my dream, but I just shook my head. Impossible, I thought. I didn’t make the effort to call him back because I was drained from the nightmare and scared of what he wanted to talk about at 3AM in the morning. When I awoke the next day, I made the effort to contact Jake through his phone. I wanted to ask about what he wanted when he called me the last night. It took about 3 attempts before he finally picked up. "Hey," I greeted as calmly as I can, "so you called me around 3 but when I picked up you just hung the phone up. What was that about?" "Oh," he replied with a boredom that I was never greeted with before, "now's not really a good time to talk about it." "Oh, okay. Well when can we talk about it?" "I'll let you know. But Pearl?" "Yeah?" "Can you stop calling me for a while?" His question startled me because this was a very unusual question for him to ask since he loved spending time with me on the phone and in person. "Sure I guess," I replied in a confused manner, "is there any particular reason why you are asking me this unusual question?" There was silence on the other line. I didn't know whether he had hung up or has just been thrown off by my question. "Hello," I managed to squeak through the awkward silence. "Just please don't," he replies with such authority, "I'm dealing with a lot if things right now family wise." When it comes to family matters, I know where my boundaries lie. Of course I understood and was finally able to breathe a little better. Knowing that I has nothing to worry about. "Alright Jake," I responded, "but you owe me. I love-" Then I heard a click. But I didn't hold it against him since I knew he was dealing with something personal right now. I didn't want to bother him more than how he's already been battling. I figured this has been going on with him since a month ago but I'm assuming he didn't want to tell me because he didn't want me to get involved and stress myself out more. After I did all my daily house chores, I decided to call Carmela and vent out what had happened this morning. I was hoping to be able to reach her because she has been living with her boyfriend and contacting her has been really tough for the past two years. I tried calling her once, then twice, then the third time. I was about to give up in the fourth attempt but she was able to answer. "Hello," she asked drowsily. Apparently she has been sleeping the while day. "Hey Melz," I managed to say without giggling so much, "Good morning sunshine." "Oh shut up," she replied realizing that I was making fun of her unproductive day, "what's up?" We both laughed before saying anything else because we knew how ridiculous we were for wing so opposite and still being able to work with each other. "Well nothing much," I said after our laughing session, "Jake and I had a conversation this morning. Can you talk?" "Yes Sweety," she replied, "what did you guys talk about? Or what happened?" "Well," I started, "He called me just to tell me to stop calling him for a while because of family matters. And I thought it had something to do with my dream. But I guess I was just over-thinking again." "What was your dream about an why would you have thought that his phone call was connected to your dream?" "Well my dream consisted of him and another girl, but this girl was pregnant and he was in a full fledged make out session with her. I thought that he was calling to tell me that he got another girl pregnant and now he has to take full responsibility for his actions. But when he assured me that he was just dealing with family issues, I was able to breathe easier." I heard a huge sigh at the other end of the line. I knew what she was thinking: Yesterday all I was talking about was getting engaged to him and now I've completely diminished that possibility because of a dream. And I though to myself: Yeah yeah. I know. "Pearl, you're just making it harder for yourself. Maybe you should just let it flow and take its own course because you can't really know where things can go from here. Plus with you dwelling on these bad scenarios, you'll just push Jake out of your #life. You already know that. I know you do." And with that I assured myself that nothing else was going on. My bestest best friend always is the one who can make me feel better, second to Jake I mean. "Okay. You're right Melz. Thanks. I just wanted to vent out. Thanks for listening to my ranting again. I love you wifey!" I love you too wifey. You know I will always be here for you no matter what happens. Good or bad, thick through thin, for better or for worst, we'll be here for each other no matter what." And with that we bid each other goodbye and I relaxed for the rest of the day tired from my daily house work chores and thinking of everything that happened this morning. I began to drift to sleep and soon I was in dreamland for the rest of the day.