Side-Story: The in Between of Blane It was silent. The atmosphere around me gave an electrifying chill that surged throughout my spine. I was all alone. I knew that the person I loved would never again return in my #life. All I could think of was the horrible and saddening feeling I had in my gut. There was nothing I could do. As I lay on my bed in agony, I realized that maybe I was never meant to fall in love with anybody. I was wishing I did not have a heart; I wished I never learned to love. As the thoughts raced in my mind of what could have been and what might have been if I had the strength to hold our relationship together, the pictures and memories of our past haunted me. I did not know how else to think. I had given my #life to him and all he did was shatter my heart into a million pieces and stepped on my feelings with his muddy and uncaring attitude. Blane took my #life away when he left the presence of my #life and my world. For most parts of my remaining #life, I looked back to those memories we shared together. Even though I was never entirely with him, I realized that maybe this was in God’s plan. He made me fall in love with another person to ease the regret and #depression I was going through when Jake left. But no sooner had I met Blane did I came to think that here is someone who could alter my way of #life and help me get closer to God. I spent time with Blane so much that I grew too attached to him, and although I knew that my feelings that were being expressed and uncovered for him were leading me down a narrow road I would soon fall off from, the reassurance of Blane’s promises was what kept my conscience stable. But that did not last long. Blane started being cold to me after getting a phone call from a company in a nearby building next to his apartment. I was present at that time and to know of his condition of not having a stable income, the news of a job he was going to get hired from was certainly a shock for the both of us. When he finished the conversation, we both smiled and at that moment I said something that might have triggered his mind to depart from my #life. I told him that finally, he gets a new job and that hopefully he does not do anything to mess it up. And when he had heard me say those words, it dawned to him that staying with me was not such a good idea anymore. We have had so much sexual desire for each other that in the presence of God we were punished by his loss of his job at that time. I guess that maybe this time he had learned from that mistake and decided that leaving me was the only option for his success. After Blane stopped all the contact and all the conversations we had, I was devastated and my #depression was starting to kick in once again. I did not want to eat; neither did I want to go out with my friends. I was not able to concentrate on my work in class and I hardly ever spoke to anyone except when I was questioned by my teachers. My best friend was always there when I was in need of assistance but I did not want anyone to get involved with what I was going through. I had to deal with my burdens by myself. My mind automatically blocked him out of my head, in my heart, and in my mind. I stopped caring for him and what was happening to him. Later did I know that he still did love me and was just preparing himself for the long run. 2 months after Blane and I drifted away from each other, we met at a gathering for church. But by that time, I was already back together with Jake and I was a month pregnant with our first baby girl. Seeing him again made my time at church relieving but at the same time, I struggled to stop worrying the sadness he was feeling. I had just announced that Jake and I are engaged and that we were expecting our baby girl in about 8 more months. I was happy and glad to know that he’s healthy and that he’s finally stable with income. But what shocked me and devastated me was that he was planning a great #life with this one person he wanted to propose to at that time. He wanted to be able to give the person he loved a great #life and spend time with her again before actually proposing to her. And he looked straight at me as he prepared to tell us the rest of his plans. He told us that he cannot do that anymore because it seemed that the person he was hoping to spend the rest of his #life with was already in the arms of someone she used to love. I knew from the way he told this story, the girl he was talking about was me. I did not know what to do or what to think. As he took the ring out of his pocket and slide it towards me, I saw a tear run down his cheek. All I could think about was how stupid and ignorant I was that I did not think of the possibilities that were in store for us. I did not know whether I should regret being with Jake again or be happy and content with what I have and not worry about Blane. My mind was rushing with all the things that could have happened if I waited for him and how it would all be worth it in the end. But as I thought of this, I realized that the reality was here. I was engaged, I was pregnant, and I was back with Jake. It’s too late now to do anything between me and Blane. I just cried; hoping I would just wake up and all these were just a dream. Blane, the guy who once took my #life away, was ready to spend the rest of his #life with me and I cannot do anything about it.