24 July 2013 Pt2 I moved back home in June 2012, the last time I saw my ex was within those three months I lived in London.., we kept in touch now and again he told me how much he had struggled when we both parted ways and ended things drifted apart.. I had it was as I had someone else there.. But now I know how it feels and how hard it is.. It took him months I feel like it'll take me years.. The last I spoke to Him was February this year around my birthday I sent him a card and that's when I felt like I got closure.. I wrote down how I felt and how sorry I was for everything I thanked him for the best three years of my #life for everything he done for me given me.. The opportunities I had and the #life I had lived.. I did it for closure.. He thanked me for the card and to,d me he was now engaged.. I was shocked and it was hard for me to come to terms with this.. I never told him how I felt.. He said to me " I hope she loves me as much as you loved me" this came as a shock to me that he was going to marry someone who he was not even sure loved him.. I don't think she will ever love him as much as I did,, he was my first and the love of my #life I have never loved anyone as much as I loved him, and even though we drifted apart and ruined things I will always love him as a person even if I am not in love with him.. During this past year things have been up and down with the person I replaced him w ith.. Everyone's different and I think I have extremely high expectations I will always compare to my first love.. We ended things couple weeks.mths back but are still talking regularly.. Recently I found out my ex had gotten married, early July.. I cried when I saw the pictures.. I thought to myself had I been open to my mum my parents and had I not chosen the crazy student #life over him perhaps I would have been the one to stand next to him in a wedding dress I know he would have loved me til his last breath he was my everything and I was his.. But then I realised, I don't want to be married to him because although we were great together I w as bored in the relationship it was becoming forced and not real and that's perhaps the reason why I had started straying away..I feel better for justifying it,, I just wish I had gotten to the point in my #life where I had met someone I loved very much and had married and settled with.. I don't see those years as wasted althought I wish they hadn't happened because the end result from both our sides is not what was intended.. The future as we saw it had changed.. Perhaps for the best I know there is someone out there for me someone who I will be in love and lust over.. Will remain faithful to and want to spend the rest of my #life with.. Someone who shares my same interests.. Someone who will love me like I was there first love and someone I can love more than my first love.. Everything is a learning experience.. If I had not experienced #life as I know it I would be so naive to everything.. So althought sometimes I wish I could erase the memories and have fresh thoughts in my mind.. I still want to remember that I had my #life perfect at one point in my #life it just wasn't meant to be.. If I have met two people in my #life who loved me like their own I hope there is a third and final who will love me til the end of the world and back..