Tainted #life The books I read are stories That I wish were about us, Documentations of the growth of our love, chapter by chapter Always missing out the part where all the fire drowned in an ocean of smothering temptation. The words I say to others Are the words I wish you had said to me At 4am in the morning, when you tuck my hair behind my ear and whisper words, that evaporate and fuse with the wisp of my soul. The photos I look at are photos That I wish were of you and I And our kaleidoscope memories of dancing and laughing, In fields that grow and grow and never die, That never lose what they always knew they had. The music I listen to has melodies That say "I am happy being insatiably sad, because that is what I have to do." And lyrics that say I love you I love you and I would rather die than stop But I would rather die than be without you. The walks I go on are to places where we laid In summers when the sun matched the way I felt And the dust dancing in the air was fireflies, And the rusting goalposts were victory. The air I breathe is always, Always air that I hope you have breathed too Because I still want to breathe you, and have parts of you in my soul In any way that I can Even though you are breathing everyone else And probably not minding if I'm breathing at all. And the sunsets that I watch, The orange sun sinking into the streaky pink horizon Are ones that make me feel okay, because I know that tomorrow is a new chance And I hope it brings something new, even though it never does And when I watch them I sit, and I hope, and I say I hope you are happy, And I hope you are watching this sunset too And wondering if I am. But most importantly, of the people I see I always hope they are you And I am still disappointed when they are not.