Chapter Four - For the Love of Crazy As Arabella came to she found she had been taken to a communal room. She saw a row of chairs opposite where she was positioned, she could also see there were a set of double doors looking out to a pitch dark outside. Confused, she searched around for other signs of #life and discovered nothing but a TV in the corner of the room showing the news. It showed an interview with the daughter of the late Margaret Thatcher, following her death the previous day. Arabella listened, scared and muddled she though of herself as the dead ex prime minister, and as such an evil entity, a tyranny of a woman who would meet her doom, and soon. She thought there were bombers overhead in helicopters ready to drop a nuke right where she was positioned. This is what she had been afraid of the whole train journey back. The people all disappearing over to the other side of the world. In preparation for the devastating nuke to be dropped, destroying nothing but her. Arabella sat there for what seemed like an age, shivering with fear, feeling alone and certain she would come to an end very soon. When she could bare it no longer she jumped out of the chair, screaming for anyone to listen. A coloured man came out of an office to the right, shouted at Arabella to sit back down. "Let me go back to bed" she screamed at him, running towards him as he backed away. He seemed to her to be uncaring and she had no words to describe the feelings and thoughts. Her perpetual paranoia increasing by the minute as the man (was this a nurse?) stood and stared at her. "No! You were disturbing the other clients" he replies sharply. "Now go. Sit" Discomforted and reluctant, needing some kind words but finding only stern faces as she looked about her. She saw just two other coloured people, a man and the woman who had fetched her from her room. They were just looking at her with seemingly blank faces, all three dressed in a black uniform. Tears streamed down her face and she felt like screaming and running but there was nowhere to run. The thick wooden doors revealed only an airlock through two small rectangular windows, the outside door was almost completely glass surrounded by a thick white plastic. She couldn't have felt more trapped and alone if there were bars on the windows. She was still not convinced that she was even going to survive the night, hearing the helicopter bombers come closer, she squeezed her eyes shut, more salty tears reaching her mouth. The nurse called Ursula takes hold of her shoulders and leads her back to the chair. "But I can't sleep here" she protests, opening her eyes. "I need to sleep, I can't stand this nightmare!" "Sit there. Settle. You can go to bed when you are calm." Relenting, Arabella sinks back into the uncomfortable leather chair, hangs her head and continues to cry, silently this time. The jumbled voices of her mind telling her that she was not safe. She would be found out. Punished for the evil in her soul. Made to repent for the nasty thoughts that emanated unwittingly from within. Her rational self would have never entertained these thoughts but in this state she no longer wanted to be Arabella. Filled with an abundance of guilt, for things that just happened, through no fault of her own. But someone had to take the blame and the only person she could justify blaming was herself. Sinking further into this distressing reverie, she slowly passes out.