Ꮋeartstrings Ꮋeartstrings Nostalgia overcame me as I took in the scene before me. I allowed myself to slowdown so that my wife could also enjoy the heartwarming view. She leaned back on her wheelchair and turned her head to gaze towards the freshly cut grass and small pond that harbored many memories of our dating years. The park was fairly large and had a larger pond which attracted more attention but this small portion was our own special place. And all I wanted to remember was those special times we spent together. Nothing else. "This place brings back memories," she said. I didn't even have to confirm that she was smiling. Knowing her, she would. Her eyes always did light up when we came here. "Sure does," I agreed. The corners of my lips relaxed into a smile. "I'm going to miss it," she said dreamily. My mouth twitched into a frown. I don't want her to talk about it. Not here. My eyes roamed down and saw her rubbing her pregnant belly, lovingly. I didn't know what to think of it...our baby. I knew that I couldn't accept Lily for giving her #life to it so easily. She knew she wasn't strong enough to handle the pregnancy. "You'll see it again," I promised. Pushing her wheelchair, we moved forward. If this place was to bring negative thoughts then it's best we get away from it. "I want to stay a bit longer," she said softly. I hesitated but finally stopped. I had always spoiled her in some ways but lately her calm mood made me want to spoil her more. She was rarely sad and it bothered me. Her words convinced me that she was certain she would die giving birth, yet she was perfectly fine with that fact. I guess that was the mystery of motherhood that men will never understand. "Daniel?" "Yes?" I answered. She smiled dreamily at me. "I love you," she said. Her brown eyes captured mine, pulling me back to all the times I've looked in them. "I love you," she repeated. Idiot, don't say that as if it's the last time. My hands trembled, mirroring my heart. I wish I could've said something back, but something swelled in my heart and climbed its way up my throat. I couldn't accept her death as easily as she did. "Daniel?" A sad smile touched her lips. Guessing my feelings, she squeezed my hand for comfort. I wish I could've said I was fine. Wave off all the pain I was feeling so that she wouldn't have to feel horrible for deciding the #life of our child over a #life with me. To convince her that she would also live and we would raise the newborn together. But I couldn't do it. I could only stand there, weeping. ©2012 Jocelyn