yltgwn ch. 6 "FUCK" I yelled. My throat hurt, my stomach hurt. My everything hurt. I was sick again thats great. Being sick and dedicating your #life to a sport wasn't a great thing. My head felt dizzy and out of place too. At this moment in time I didn't know what to do. Part of me wanted to call Logan and ask for help but I've been trying to distance myself from him. I need to learn how to take care of myself ya know? Logan and I aren't going to be 'together' forever, I was going to fall out of his #life one and and long after that he would fall out of mine. Logan always tells me that we will grow old together and be bff's forever and everything else like that, but I just do not go for it. Nothing last forever in my world. My thoughts were inturupted by another urge to puke. "fuck you perfection" I forced out of my mouth as I threw up all over the toilet and bathtub. "Copeland honey? I'm going out with your sister for a late lunch alright? Love you." my mom called from downstairs. I threw up again in response but she had already left. I figured I wouldn't be able to leave the bathroom anytime soon so I just accepted that fact and le myself pass out on the bathroom floor. I woke up in my bed with a note from Logan stuck to the wall. "I came by but you were passed out on the bathroom floor covered in blood and vomit. I put you in your bed, I'm out with a new lady friend of mine so I'll come by when I get home." I was covered in blood? No there was no way that I had cut, but I was wrong. On my wrists there was about ten new cuts and on my hip there was a small group of bloody bumbs and a even bigger group on my high thighs. Great, thats just fucking fantastic. More than likely this will make Logan freak out and go into one of his phases. ((I don't like his phases most of the time.)) my stomach hurt from the lack of food thats been put in their.I didn't want food though. i didn't want to cut. Infact I didn't want to drink. I wanted something powerful, exciting. I haven't rolled a joint in a while, but that was something I promised Logan I would only do with him. Have I ever told you I enjoy the occasianol hard drug? Ha, not heroin or cocaine. Okay I've done coke once but thats not the point. I only wanted to go to one place right now. And that my friends was the inner city. I have a friend who lives down here but I rarely see her unless we are leaving fir joffre or coming back from it. Her name is Macy and she is possibly the wildest people I have ever met. I mean she isn't like partying all the time #lifestyle, she liked to be alone. She was a lot like me actually, she had one close friend and the rest were scattered around the country from dance. When Macy alone she smoked pot, when she was when other people were over she still smoked pot, if she ever went to the movies with her boyfriend she would make him touch her. Macy just liked to do "naughty" things I guess you would say? Anyway, Macy had possibly one of my favorite things in the world. LSD. acid, a #life ruiner. Whatever you want to call it. She was surprised when I showed up at her house. "Copeland eh? You wanna fuck around don't you?" she asked laughing. "Shit, yeah man. I do, let me come in." i said nuddging her. She laughed. "So what do you need you cunt sucker?" she asked me with a 'Im sorry its a joke please laugh" face on. "i want acid, LSD, ecstacy? both." she laughed really loud. Macy had pulled to round white pills from a little baggy from the floorboard. "Take these." she said sweetly. Popping those pills was the last thing I remembered When I woke up the next day.