The First Cut I though I would never cut myself again. But I couldn't control it anymore . I was just so hurt . Hurt at the fact that you were allowing someone else make you happy . At the fact that someone else was making you laugh , smile and giggle. At the facts that you were letting someone else call you baby. At the fact that you were letting someone else be "mushy" to you. At the fact that you were letting someone else get inside your heart . At the fact that you were calling someone else your "best friend ." At the fact that you were getting confused . At the fact that I couldn't do anything because I was emotionally not okay. At the fact that I couldn't say "fine . Let her make you happy then , I'm done " I really tried to stay strong and not cut but it was just ...... I couldn't stop it. I was just too angry , confused , hurt , and sad. So I took the blade and made the first cut. After that I continue my sessions of cutting myself . So yes I did brake my promise because of you ................. And I ask myself why the hell am I still with you....... It's because I don't want to hurt you........