Nothin' but a fat Rat Race Monday, 22/10/12 Isn't it scary when so much can happen in one day? So many things that could open up many possibilities. Nothing solid. Nothing confirmed. But just enough hints so's to make your brain whir along at a thousand miles an hour until you're physically and mentally exhausted. Today was the big internship interview and although I have absolutely no indication either way of the outcome, I am terrified. There is so much of my #life that is unforeseeable and uncertain that it seems to be difficult to steer through the problems even if there is a possibility I might get a break. It seems for every good thing that comes into my #life, there is also the implication of a negative, so it makes it hard to appreciate. To get to the point, this internship would be a once in a #lifetime opportunity, but the terms for doing it are almost impossible considering my circumstances. These were things I have learnt about the position today, already in too deep. If I'm offered it, I would be a fool to turn it down. But, if I accept it, it could make the next 3 months incredibly difficult for myself and pretty much everyone I care about. It's very difficult to consider these consequences. I spent all weekend preparing for this interview, intent on doing my best and hopefully winning them over, but now I wish I hadn't. I'm almost here hoping that I'm not in the running for this position, purely because if I were picked I know It would be stupid to accept and It would be stupid to decline. At least if they don't want me i've not made the choice and therefore do not have to live with the consequences. Oh what a terrible coward I am.