Pride Until recently, I assumed that of course everyone has at least one moment in their #life when they can say they have felt proud of themselves. However, it seems not everyone can say that. So firstly, I have to give thanks to the universe that I have been fortunate enough to have lived a #life where I have had many, many moments when I have felt proud of myself. Graduating from University, twice, was a pretty awesome achievement and I was super proud of myself for accomplishing that. I got the degrees and no one can take that away from me. It was hard work, but totally worth it. I can look back on those years and know that I did something really productive with my #life. However, the moment I am most proud of, was when I decided to give up my conventional 9 to 5 #life, quit my stable, steady job and live a #lifestyle that made me truly happy; though that was not conventional, steady, or safe. Was it a scary decision? Of course, but was it worth it? Yes! Beyond words can describe. I did it, I took the leap. I said no to what society demanded of me and I chose to live a #life on my own terms. Yes, some decisions may have resulted in me ending up in prison. But these consequences were totally worth it, to know that I will continue to live the #life I truly want for myself. ##poetsin #pride

No Shame For Me I suppose there have been many times in my #life when society dictated that I should have felt ashamed due to my actions, however, I took ownership of everything I’ve done in my #life and I decided not to feel ashamed of anything I’ve done in my #life. For example, as a teenager, I was very, very promiscuous and was called a slut by many people in my community. However, I was very aware of my actions and took ownership of the word ‘slut’ and changed its meaning for me. “Yes,” I said, “Slut and proud.” I like sex, I like having sex with different people, lots of different people. What’s wrong with that? All of my partners were aware of my intentions from the get-go and I always made sure I was safe and healthy. So where is the shame in my actions? I take drugs. I enjoy taking drugs and going dancing or playing Scrabble for 12 hours non-stop, or creating beautiful pieces of art. I do not apologize or deny my drug use. I’m proud of it, as I view it as an enhancement to my #life. But I’m also responsible with my drug use. I have never, to my knowledge, hurt anyone while on drugs. I’ve never put myself in debt, robbed or stolen to pay for my drugs. So again -to me, where is the shame? I like taking drugs and will continue to do so for as long as they serve a purpose in my #life. I am now in prison. Do I feel ashamed about this? Hell no! I have not hurt anyone, I have not been disruptive to society, I just chose to live an alternative #lifestyle and in this country, that means I’ve broken some laws that have led to my incarceration. However, I am not ashamed of my way of #life. I will not apologize for it. I know who I am and what I believe, and I will never feel ashamed about who or what I am. ##poetsin #noshame

Esoteric Esoteric, that’s how I describe myself. This means that I don’t expect or need to be understood. I’m different and I like this about myself. This does mean there are times in #life when I may not be understood by the people around me. That’s ok. When this happens, I just stop and try and bring the conversation back to ground that can be understood. I know what I think and feel and I don’t need to be understood by everyone. This is because I am so accepting of myself and my quirks. I’m not phased or upset when the communication at times stalls or breaks down. I just aim to be as forgiving and non-judgmental as possible, and hope that both parties walk away from the interaction at peace with each other. Being different is awesome and sometimes it’s nice to not be understood, as it gives me the excuse to retreat to my sanctuary, my room, where I can just be by myself and enjoy my own company without the need to explain and justify what I think and feel. ##poetsin #misunderstood

The Impossible Silence I recently started meditating and was under the impression that silence was necessary in order to meditate. In actual fact, it’s not. Which led me to think, what exactly is silence? I’ve come to the conclusion that actually, there is no such thing as silence. If you listen closely, you’ll realize that there are sounds around you constantly. The sound of a fan blowing, a distant TV, someone snoring loudly in the next room, a train zooming past, or the first chirps of the birds as they wake up to a new day. I’m writing this at 2am, and I can tell you that the world does not go to sleep and is never silent. We do not live in a silent universe. Sound is always around us. Hence why meditation does not require silence, as it is an impossible concept. I value all the sounds around me. They serve a purpose and remind me that the world continues to live and breathe and make sounds, even when I at times have felt stuck. The sound of silence does not exist. ##poetsin #soundofsilence

Acceptance Prison is one place that gives you the time to really get inside an emotion, and lately I’ve been delving into what it really feels like to accept all the choices in my #life. I’ve made a choice to see, and take from, only the positive aspects of all the experiences I’ve had in my #life. That’s not to say that only good things have happened in my #life. Due to coming to prison, I’ve now lost my whole #life in London. My relationship with my partner is in limbo and I’m going to be deported to a country I’ve never lived in, or speak the language of. Yet, I’ve accepted all these consequences. But how did I come to feel this acceptance? It’s down to my philosophy for #life, which is: “Change is the only constant.” Nothing is meant to last forever. I enjoyed it while I lived it and I’ll always have the wonderful memories to look back on. It was probably one of the best years of my #life and I’ll always look back on my #life in London with a big smile. As for my relationship in limbo, well I’ll be honest, I think it’s over and it’s time to move on. There will always be love between us, but I’ve evolved a lot through this prison experience and have grown out of the relationship we once had. Again, this relationship was meant to be for a season, not a #lifetime, and I’ve accepted this. It was an amazing relationship with so much love and so many never experienced love like that. It is now time to let go and spend the next few years experiencing the world on my own, being responsible for no one but myself. Most people would be terrified to be deported to a country they’ve never lived in, but not me! I’m looking forward to the challenge and excited to learn a new language. I’ve accepted that living in Norway was always part of my #life plan. I’m a traveler and moving to experience new places and ways of #life is what I live for. So yes, bring it on! Acceptance, it’s a surprisingly positive emotion for me and it’s brought me a lot of peace. I have enjoyed going over my #life and making peace with my choices in #life, and I’ve come to the end of this journey feeling very joyful and hopeful of the future. Acceptance puts your #life in perspective. It makes you feel gratitude for the #life you’ve lived, and takes the pressure off the mistakes you’ve made in the past. ##poetsin