Goodbyes In my opinion, they're harder to say than apologies. Socially, I feel awkward. Yet I get along with everyone just fine. My feelings can be read like an open book-- but I'm terrified of anybody knowing how I feel. And to say goodbye...I won't. The second I found out you're going to be leaving, I was gone. The most I could do was flash a quick smile, even then I stumbled on my own footsteps and rushed off. If I don't say goodbye, it's easier to lie to myself. It's easier to hope that I'll see your car in the parking lot tomorrow morning, and the day after that....And that I'll see you throughout the day and bother you with conversations that normally would be incredibly awkward.... The one last look into your eyes, it was full of hurt. I hope you can understand that I wasn't trying to be cold... Still. I'm glad I met you...this I hope you know... I guess I'll just see you later, huh?

Anything, To Make You Happy Memories of those calm chill summer nights, wasting time and #life away with you in an endless drive to nowhere. No responsibilities. Just living our teenage years to the fullest while forgetting to take #life seriously, bumming around in a beat up car we basically called home. Those times I'll never forget, you'll always be my best friend. I'd marry you just to make sure nobody could hurt you ever again. Of course, to me you're still just a silly boy and in our world cooties still exist. I'll never forget the time you saved my ass and pretended to be my boyfriend; that was the first time we've ever held hands. Awkward? Very. You're like the brother I've never had. After that we didn't speak for months. I can't quite recall who initiated conversation again, but it was as if we had never stopped talking. I remember you telling me that someday you wanted to leave everything behind and aimlessly explore Europe, carefree living #life to its fullest. When I said Would miss you, you didn't think twice to offer to let me tag along. Of course, time goes by and things chance. I work full time in an occupation I never imagined I'd be working in, and you managed to move yourself hundreds of miles away and persue a college degree. Sometimes it feels like you moved just to see if I'd follow, or maybe perhaps it was a test to show yourself that I'd forget you and move on with my #life like so many others have done to you... Of course, I never forgot you. You're my best friend. <3 And we'll always share a bond no matter what. After all, you're the one who always caught me when I fell hardest and saved my #life. For you, anything. Anything to make you happy.

Pets. I'm not sure what I'd do without my little loves; their love is unconditional and they know how you feel without a single word. Amazing really, animals.

Optimistically Regretful Love. I hurt. I ruined my chance. I fucked up and wasted any and every opportunity. I shouldn't have left that night. I was happy talking to him....comfortable, even. What was I thinking? When he asked if I was leaving, with a surprised expression....it was like a shot in the face. I knew I was as oblivious as a 10 year old school girl who still played with dolls and slept with stuffed animals. Oh wait, I am that girl. Except I'm 21, and a naive loser who has no aspirations in #life, who falls hard, way too easily. Him? 36 years old, average white guy. Not decked out with cash, doesn't give a fuck about how he looks or what he wears. Smells like a bar and always lighting up a cigarette...gorgeous mesmerizing hazel green eyes, the most adorable smile and an accommodating cute laugh....comes off as an asshole, but I swear he puts effort into everyone and everything but himself. Was it wrong? Probably. But who cares. He's not attached and neither of us have extra baggage lingering in the background of our lives. There are no set laws of attraction, and quite frankly if there were, like hell if I'd follow them. Not that I'd call this love, but who's keeping tabs anyway? Never in my #life have I felt this comfortable with somebody, on top of the fact that he was the one person I shared ideals with and could relate to and understand. I didn't see it coming, but I always found myself gazing off in his direction and smiling to myself day to day. He swears like a sailor and didn't give a single fuck about what anyone thought of who he was. What I'd give to have that much confidence. Maybe then, he wouldn't have slipped away.... But honestly, I wish him the best of luck. He definitely deserves to do what he wants and give time to himself. All in all, I wish him happiness and good fortune with the decisions he'll make. Who knows, maybe someday our paths will once again cross and opportunity will arise and I won't fuck up my chance like I did before. Maybe I would have grown up, and overcome my lack of confidence to stop second-guessing obvious details in #life. I just wish I could look you in the eyes one last time and tell you how I feel... But for now, I guess this is good-bye.