louis // 10.1.16 you push me out of my comfort zone and i fall straight into a pool of complete utter confusion you like me, but it's not really a thing, and i like you, but it's surely nothing because i'm vulnerable and you're plunging straight into the depths of adventure, letting the waves of curiosity and an extroverted persona drag you ashore only to be washed up and found by me you splash me with a sense of wonder, and a desire to search into your entire soul (which you don't even believe in) and in it, find myself, somewhere small but somewhere exciting in turn, i move my hips and rock us on the water until you take a chance only to be dumped by my lack of enthusiasm towards stepping out of what I know I look at your green eyes, a different green to the ocean we spent many hours submerged in, and know that you too are searching for yourself in the history books of my heart (they haven't written history books about the future yet, darling) because I can correct you when you call the indigenous peoples of America "native Indians" but I can't correct you when you say we're a perfect match you drown me in flattery and it seems, in reply, i've polluted your waters with clouded signals and i am sorry

new year resolution The days leading up to the 1st January 2016 were gruelling I was excited for the new year but terrified of letting you go I cried upon remembering you fell out of love with me but then remembered there was a time when you were I didn't want a new year kiss because I knew that it would just make me miss you more And you know what? My first thought in 2016 was not about you.

you're more than that don't you ever let someone make you feel inadequate you are more than what that 16 year old boy said to his friend about you you are better than the girl who tells you to shut up, because no one cares you are more compassionate than the people who laughed at you when you told them about what you wanted to do to help others you are friendlier than the girls who treat the boy who has a different way of thinking as a novelty, a joke you are more than you could ever need or want to be you are you, you are not your waist measurement, you are not your complexion or your grades, you are not what others think you should be, or what you are. you are you, you are kind and loving, passionate and driven, you are a ray of sunshine exposing the flecks of dust dancing in the air, warm and honest do not ever, (and please, take this advice with you throughout the years) feel like you must fit the criteria someone else has presented to you, you do not need to pass a test to be good enough for anybody - there is no need to be anything or do anything unless it is for yourself. Grow and learn, make mistakes and be heartbroken, but do not ever let it stop you from being you 2:13am 8-1-16