Why Kill Yourself? Before you kill yourself Please know That there are Things you don't know Please know that There are places to see Books you haven't read Movies you haven't watched #poems to awe And that those are Just some of The many reasons To live and not die Also, there are People who cares For you, and You just don't know You don't need to Know that person For you to care It just comes naturally for some And also there are People to talk to There are also beautiful things For you to Gaze and admire So why? Why kill yourself?
I'm Falling I'm falling through the abyss. There is nothing here but darkness, emptiness, silence. Am I dead? Perhaps, but I cannot truly tell. I am a fleeting consciousness that is not truly alive. I know nothing. I am nothing. How am I able to communicate? How is this possible? Are you, perhaps, insane? You ask too much. Remember that I know no answer. I know nothing. I am nothing. I have no body, no soul, no heart or spirit; yet I feel. I can only feel, or perhaps the better term is perceive. Agony. Dread. Wrath. Desolation. These are the notes of my symphony. I feel. I feel. I feel. I fall. I know nothing. I am nothing. Do not tell me to find an illuminating grace. It will be a futile search. Light is nonexistent here. It is an illusion. An ideal. There is nothing. Nothing here. There will always be nothing. Nothing is all it will ever be. I am falling through an eternal abyss. I am nothing. There is nothing. Nothing is all it will ever be.
It Hurts I wiped my sweaty palms on my jeans out of nervousness. My heart, hammering against my ears. My cheeks, tinted with red. If only I can just calm down. I feel vexed and uncomfortable. I don't know how it started in the first place. It was an innocent crush at the beginning and then it blossomed into something. I have to get this out or else I might explode. The bell rang, school was over. Another day over. I bit my lip and looked at him. He was talking with his friends, his brown eyes gleaming with joy. His hair was disheveled but it looked good on him. His skin was flawless and perfect. He was perfect. But how can I be so sure? That's because he's my best friend and I know him more than anyone does. I felt my heart flutter as his eyes strayed to me. He waved at me, which I returned. Oh dear, here he comes. It's now or never. "Hello," he said. He smiled warmly at me which made my knees go weak. It sounded so cliche but that's how I am feeling. "Hello," I said with a steady voice. I mentally patted my head for not stuttering. "So, you ready to go home?" He asked. When he said home, he meant hang out. But it will be so good to live in a dream where I can live with him and fall in love with each other. I was about to open my mouth when she suddenly showed up. The girl. It's her. The one. "Hey, love." She kissed his lips. It felt like a stab in my back. "Hey," He smiled at her, his eyes full of love. And that's when I realized....that I have no chance. It's pointless to say what I'm feeling. It can't change anything. She turned to me and gave me a small smile. She knows. She knows what I feel. "So, girls...?" He wrapped his arm around her petite frame. She was perfect in every way. How do I know? Because she's my sister, my twin sister. She's better than me at everything. She even won his heart. "I-I have to go to the library. Uhmm... I have to go borrow a book" I said, clearing my throat. I just have to get away. I was close to tearing apart. I can feel my eyes burn, tears threatening to come out. I bit my cheek to stop ig. "Oh, well, we can wait-" He started. "No!" I cut him off. "I'm fine, I'll just walk home," my eyes turned to my sister. Her eyes were apologizing. Why? You shouldn't be sorry. You're lucky you have him. "But-" He was so stubborn, but I have to really get away from them. A good hundred miles should be good. "No, really, I'm fine. Just go," I gave them one last smile, a weak one, as I walk away. I felt a tear roll down my cheek, and I was praying that he didn't see that. It hurt, it truly hurts. But I can't do anything about it. Because he wasn't mine.
The Touch I felt someone gently caress my cheek as if I were a delicate china doll. And then slowly tracing my jaw, like a soft feather's touch. A soft sigh escaped between my lips, though unsure of what this is. It was gentle and soft but cold at the same time. It was soothing yet at the same time terrifying. It was overwhelming yet void. I missed being caress, touch like this. It slowly went to my eyes, my eyelashes fluttering, feeling a bit ticklish. But I still kept my eyes closed. I don't want to open them, I want to cherish the feeling. It then went to my plump lips, tracing every curve of my lips. Feeling the softness of it. Then I felt the caress on my hair now. It was relaxing and tense. I was confuse. I wish to enjoy this all but I can't. It was like being thrown into an unknown abyss. You don't know what to feel. All I can see is darkness and there's no light to lighten me. I feel lonely yet there was someone touching me dearly. The touch was very overwhelming. And then I heard humming. The tune was slow and it made me shiver. The hand continues to stroke my hair as I listen to the tune. It was melancholic and distant. It was like being relived from a memory. There was only one flaw. I live alone. I have no one...here with me... And yet I can feel someone's cold hand caressing my face and my hair as I try to sleep.