My Friend Cam At 11 in the morning Cam is fast asleep. (shouting through the door) Me: Cam?!? Cam:...nhhhn...What? Me: Osama bin Laden's dead. (pause) Cam: Fuck off I don't believe you ( goes back to sleep)

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Slippery Slope Seeing your Opuss profile slide down the ranks is like watching an intimate and treasured long term relationship slowly break down. Only worse.

My Friend Cam Cam's 7 yr old Cousin: Caaaam? Cam: Yeah? Cams cousin: Do you have a girlfriend? Cam: er no I don't mate, no Cams cousin: I do (smugly smiles and leaves) Cam: ( Watches him leave, narrows his eyes then whispers) ...fuck you, I'm taller.

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My Friend Cam Cam: Can you please not post #quotes of me on your strange little app? Or at least change my name and give me a pseudonym ...oh oh! Or give me a porn name! Me: Yeah, of course. Lance Blitzstein: Thanks mate.

My Friend Cam When discussing what animals we would be for a day. Me: You'd have to be something with thumbs, you know, so you could still play Xbox. Cam: (confidently) Nah I'd be an eagle..................(eyes widen)......... with thumbs.