Come With Me Now
Jenna slammed the door. She could still hear them out there. Pacing outside her door like wolves. Sniffing. They all wanted something from here. But she wasn't sure how much more she had to give.
Her mind raced. Caught up in this world of music and fame Jenna felt half alive. She was a slave to them now. Her every consuming thought how to please them. How to feed this parasite called fame.
Her voice, once her source of peace, was her own weapon. It never used to be this way. When she was young she sang whenever she could. She was born fearless and her voice told the world so. But her voice fell silent now. A lock and key held by someone else controlled it. She sang for them and no one else.
Jenna rushed over to her vanity. Pills from a roadie. Meant to help with Jenna's head aches. She smashed them up with a glass and found a straw in the garbage.
She felt her hands trembling. This wasn't her. She was not this kind of person. But the voices kept screaming her name. She just needed to make them stop. Lose herself if only for one night.
Her head felt cold. Like she had a sneeze that wouldn't come out. She felt cold metal trickle down her throat. But her eyes were wide. Her skin felt light. But she was still cold inside.
Jenna was too impulsive. She knew it. She though with her heart but moved with her head. She had direction. But what she aimed for she could never truly see. The horizon always looked bright. But over the hill was a burning city. Angels cried out for blood. Her blood.
Jenna snorted another line. The world was starting to blur. She felt her body and mind grow numb. Until she heard it. A song playing from outside the window.
Jenna felt herself singing along. She remembered this song. It was the first one she hadn't written herself. She remembered reading it over and over to memorize the worlds.
A tear fell from her eyes. That was her #life now. Every song she sang was some one else's. Every word she said, written and memorized in advance. She was their puppet now. And what's worse was she gave herself to them.
She was 20 when she started all of this. She was a college drop out living in a studio apt. Where would she go now. After this #life. What would she do.
The walls seemed to be closing in on her. Jenna felt her breath speeding up. She stumbled to the bathroom. Passing water into her mouth and onto her face. It felt like slime. Clinging to her skin and making it crawl.
"This was supposed to be different" a voice spoke from behind her.
Jenna jumped. The room was dark but she was sure it was empty. Jenna turned on all the lights and still nothing.
"You thought being a rock star would be amazing,right? Or at least you felt it would. All bright lights and jam sessions and hand shakes and parties. But that wasn't all of it, huh? When you really think about it, you didn't give this much thought at all."
Jenna spun in circles searching. The voice came from all around her. It was in her room and in her mind.
"And then you were so caught up in all the glamor you got confused again. It felt so good to be loved. It felt so good to be wanted. But it wasn't real. Was it?"
"Who is that!!" Jenna screamed. But no one answered.
She felt her heart racing and her breath growing short. The room was spinning. Jenna fell to her knees and looked up at the ceiling. What was happening to her? Was she dying?
"Our father..." Jenna began but couldn't finish. She didn't know the rest. She didn't know who to pray to. But she didn't know what else to do. "Please god save me. I don't know what else to do. I'm drowning in this world. I just wanna make music and sing and be happy. Lord please give me a sign. Show me what I have to do. Please!!!"
The room was so quiet. Jenna felt utterly alone. Her mind was breaking and all she wanted was someone to tell her it'd be ok. But no one was there. No one cared. Even the voice she heard before was gone.
"Why?! Why won't you answer me?! God! Anyone! Please!" Jenna screamed and kicked. She fell on her back and pounded her fists. "I'll do anything! Just to be me again! Just to be happy! What do you want?! Money!? My body!? My soul!?! Take them all!?!"
Jenna's voice echoed through the whole floor. She was so destroyed. She was supposed to feel numb. She wasn't supposed to feel at all. But she did. She felt all her disappointment and failure. She felt the noose around her neck tighten. She felt her self smothered under expectations and sales charts. She felt alone.
Jenna's body was trembling. The world was blurring again. The air felt cool as it flowing into her lungs. Her eyes grew heavy and her lips numb.
A voice whispered as she drifted away. "Come with me now"
The room was red now. Like blood that had pooled and settled. Jenna could see herself laying on the floor. She saw the white powder around her nose. She saw her eyes dancing behind her lids. But she didn't understand.
"The truth ain't so pretty is it?" The voice from before spoke again.
But this time Jenna could see him. A man dressed in jeans and a black tank. His hair was half shaved. What was left was deep black and messy. His eyes were a golden brown.
"Who are you?" Jenna asked, beginning to tremble.
"Who are you?" The voice boy relied.
He circled Jenna. both of her. He seemed as if he already knew the answer. So why was he asking?
"I'm Jenna"
"No. That's your name. Who are you?"
Jenna didn't know how to reply. She looked down at her trembling self. That was not who she was or who she wanted to be. Jenna honestly didn't know.
"I can tell you who she is?" He said crouching by Jenna. His arm grazed hers. His skin was cold and some how tough. And in her mind his voice was echoing 'come with me now'
"She is a puppet. A husk" he poked Jenna head. It was strange. Even though he poked the Jenna that was laying on the floor she could still feel it as she crouched beside him. "She used to be a girl filled with light and beauty. She was optimistic" he stroked Jenna's cheek. It made her body shake. "But one big dream and a few bad choices and here she is. Used up and empty. A light so dim god nor the devil care to see it"
He looked in Jenna's eyes then. His had changed. Once a golden brown now a deep black. His cheeks were sharp too. Sharper than any humans should be. Jenna could feel the fear building up inside her.
"Is that who you are?" He asked with a smile "or could you be more"
Jenna gasped. The question was breath taking. She had never considered that. Jenna had been begging to go back. Back to her songs and her music. Back to thinking her own thoughts and speaking her own mind. Could there really be a possibility of moving forward.
"Can I..?" Jenna asked, tears beginning to fall.
The boy stood and extended his hand to her. The voice in her head echoed louder. 'Come with me now' It sounded like it came from somewhere else. Somewhere far away buried deep within her. She wanted this. 'Come with me now'
Jenna left herself on the floor. She took his hand and followed. She didn't care where she was going as long as it was forward.
Before them was a door. There was no light on the other side of it. No sign that things would be ok. 'Come with me now'
Jenna pulled back for a moment. But the boy didn't seem to mind. He simply looked at Jenna and smiled. So reassuring and yet so mysterious. Jenna didn't know who he was or where she was. But that smile somehow made it all ok.
His eyes had changed again. They were completely black now. And as Jenna took a step into the darkness she notice the claws on his hands. 'Come with me now'
"Who are you?" Jenna asked again.
"I'm just like you. Trapped in the idea someone else had for me. Till I found that I didn't have to be" his voice was sharp and sly. Each word deliberate. Like it'd be said a thousand times before.
The dark seemed to consume everything behind. Yet Jenna could clearly see her companion beside her. He seemed to have horns now and his claws had become talons.
"Where are we going"
"Don't worry. I'm gonna take you down. And everything will be ok"
"What do you mean" Jenna began to panic
"You said you wanted someone to help you. Anyone. So here I am..."
