RED RED by Benjamin Clarkson  ​After a brief stop halfway along Almer Road, she adjusted her iPod’s playlist, Sophie continued her journey home. She was walking with more dedicated pace than usual, her thoughts turned to the plans she had made for the evening. Desperately trying to get her story straight, the story she would soon be repeating for her mother. Suddenly Sophie snapped away from her thoughts and realisation sank in that she was much closer to home than she expected. ​Opening her front door she could hear the usual murmur of the radio, a sound just audible from her current position, a sound that let Sophie know her mother would be occupied in the kitchen. After wrapping her headphones and returning the mP3 player into her trouser pocket, Sophie checked her phone for any messages then slung her bag to the usual space beside the stairs. Sophie climbed the flight of stairs with speed and caution as to not disturb her mum. She changed into her new outfit that she had recently purchased on a spending spree at Oxford Street the previous weekend. She had bought this outfit in mind of this weekend, this Friday night. Sophie fixed her hair once more and attuned her dress before rushing down the stairs to talk with Mum. She burst into the kitchen. Jane, Sophie’s Mother, rose out of her chair where countless bank statements and overdraft charges lay upon the table. Jane embraced her daughter and resumed her position amongst the clutter of paper. Sophie could see that her Mum was busy, she inhaled a half breath and began to recite her story, it was as if she were on autopilot, her mouth was saying all the words she had prepared whilst her mind was judging the facial expressions and response. As she came to the end of her rehearsed lie, Jane seemed to be buying it. A wash of relief came over Sophie, she remained as calm as her body would allow. “Well, okay Sophie; as long as all you’re work is done then I see no reason why you shouldn’t.” The wash fell over her again. “But I would like Gemma’s home number, and make sure that you text me when you’re there.” Sophie gave her mother a reassuring nod and a home number, but not Gemma’s. Gemma was a relatively new friend; they had been put into the same practical group for Chemistry at the start of the new academic year, before that they had never really spoken, although Sophie had briefly mentioned this new friend from time to time, due to this Gemma would become the perfect alibi. The number she had given was that of her Boyfriend’s house. Dan was eighteen and an apprentice plumber. They had met through mutual friends and despite Sophie’s initial inhibitions about Dan being three years older, they became an item. Those inhibitions were the spark that attracted her to Dan. Their relationship was a risk, but the risk was exciting. ​Sophie collected her overnight bag from her room and began to make her way to the station, unwrapping her headphones and placing each bud into her ears; she pressed play and continued making her way. She arrived at the underground ticketing machine, bought her single ticket zones one to six and made her way down to the platform. Music still playing, she could not wait to see Dan; she wanted to get to The Stepping Stones, Dan’s local pub where they had arranged to have dinner that night. This would be the first time that they could spend time together without having to go their separate ways at the end of the evening. The rumbling echo of metal on metal gave the usual vibration to let Sophie know her train was coming in. The trains were quiet tonight, which was odd; she had assumed that the journey would be foul, that she would be squashed between several overweight sweaty bankers, broadsheets and large baggage. But not tonight, she sat down with her overnight bag, closed her eyes and thought about her evening ahead. ​He looked up from his newspaper; something had awakened his senses, a smell, a scent, it was perfume, he could almost taste it. After carefully folding his paper he took in the aroma once more, his mouth began to salivate. He opened his eyes to see a girl caringly place her bag on the seat next to where she would sit. He watched her sigh and close her eyes. The man removed his glasses, wiped the lenses with a new tissue from his pocket and then placed the glasses into the top inside pocket of his jacket. Four stops later the man was still watching Sophie in her daydream, only occasionally would she lift an eyelid to check each stop as they passed. Her casual nature, her dress, her perfume and her perfectly sculpted hair stirred up a feeling that the man had not felt for some time. His thoughts clouded, logic seemed fuzzy and something was taking over. It was more than just a ‘fire in the belly’; it was more like a surge of electricity, thousands of volts were jolting inside of a hard case that was this man’s body. ​Just before the ninth stop, she sat upright; a slight smile was painted onto her perfectly pink lips. Refreshed she stood up, collected her bag and made her way to the far side door of the train. His heart pounding, a whirlwind of a million thoughts flew around his head. He panicked, he could not let her leave without seeing more of her, he didn’t want to lose that perfect scent. ​As the buzzer announced the closing of the trains doors, the man leapt out of his chair and out onto the platform. An amass of people crowed the narrow walkway. Making his way to the exit he was adamant that she would be leaving the station, he was in hope that he would be correct. He bounded out onto the street. Composing himself, he removed his glasses from where they had been placed, pushing them right onto the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath, his thoughts still racing ahead of him. He remained stationary looking around, once the street had cleared of the recently departing commuters he heard a faint giggle. It was her, she was taking shelter in a nearby coffee stand. She was on her mobile, chatting flirtatiously. He closed in on the coffee stand, standing just out of view on the other side of the counter, he unfolded his paper and held it in front of his view. He was not reading, but listening. “So where are you now?” Sophie was talking so loud that he needn’t have been so close but he stayed in his position. “Oh, okay. Well I’ll make my way over to The Stepping Stones and meet you there.” Sophie rounded up her conversation with an “I love you”. The man’s blood boiled, he couldn’t help but feel cheated. Although he didn’t know what he was expecting from her, he felt an anger, an anger at himself but also an anger that this girl that he subconsciously became infatuated with. A deep breath calmed his temper; his eyes came over blank like that of a shark, they held a cold gaze on nothing and everything. And just like a shark, he took off with purpose. ​Sophie placed her phone back in her bag, collected her change and blew onto the freshly made cappuccino. She removed a light coat from her bag and delicately put on the garment. The twilight was turning into darkness and the clouds over head restlessly began to spit droplets of rain. ​She finally arrived at Dan’s local, whilst waiting for her company for the evening Sophie took a seat at one of the smaller tables and glanced over the food menu, there was nothing that she took a fancy too, but she would just be happy to eat. Dan looking rather scruffy had entered the pub, waved a hand at the barmaid and came over to the table where Sophie was sitting. She jumped out of the chair, her face lit up. They held each other before they even said hello, shared a kiss and sat down at the table. They talked about each other’s day even though they constantly message one another through text and knew full well how their day had been. It was just nice to sit and talk, both with unstoppable gaze and permanent grins on their faces. ​Dan left the table to order their food, being traditional he always enforced that he would order and pay for the both of them. This was a trait that Sophie both loved and despised, she loved that he was always so gentlemanly and old fashioned but hated that she could never reimburse his gifts of affection. This was a large factor that determined Sophie’s plans for tonight, tonight for the first time Dan would receive his reimbursement. ​ Sat on the opposite side of the room, nursing his house ale, he watched. He wasn’t a drinker, he didn’t even enjoy alcohol. He hated the carbonated bitter taste and how overindulgence can affect people, but this once he would he put this aversion aside. Seeing the two so happy together made him sick to the stomach, and the bitter taste of the ale was only doubled by the bitter taste of jealousy. He knew that boy wasn’t right for her, how could he be? That mess of a human being was no match for her porcelain beauty and delicate manner. Feeling his cheeks warm through embarrassment and anguish he raised his glass and drank half the bitter ale with a grimace, and grit his teeth. ​Soon their meal was finished, and with half a bottle of wine still on the table their conversation turned to the entertainment for the evening. Although she was nervous, she wanted to make an effort for her boyfriend, she leant over the table towards Dan, and whispered her intentions for the night. Dan’s mouth began to rise at the sides, before puckering to gently kiss Sophie on the cheek. They left the half bottle of wine on the table, collected their things and made for the door. ​The man took his empty glass to the bar and slipped over to the table where the two had been sat, he lifted Sophie’s glass, made sure no one was looking and also made his way to the door. The cool breeze was a nice change from the stuffiness of the pub, he took Sophie’s glass, and saw that her lipstick had left its mark on the glass, with one finger he wiped the lipstick from the glass and placed it on the outside table. He began to walk the same way the two had made way to. His walk was brisk, whilst keeping distance between Sophie and Dan the man lifted his lipstick stained finger and traced his lips. The hairs on the back of his neck rose, the sensation was almost rejuvenating. ​His ears perked up, he heard the slam of a door, he was at the right house. The man took a seat at the bus stop opposite the house. He watched as the lights of the kitchen flickered on, after a short while the upstairs light had been turned on and dimmed. He had to do something, nerves turned into adrenaline, and the adrenaline fueled his motive. He slunk way over to the side of the house. ​The two lay there, both quietly taking it all in. The mood, the atmosphere, the connection that they had just shared, it was so peaceful, so still. After a short while Sophie rested her head on Dan’s chest, in a quiet tones she let Dan know just how much he meant to her. She took the covers from the bed and wrapped them around her body, she went to the bathroom and began to run the shower. ​Dan put on some comfortable clothes and went down stairs, his throat was dry, he had brought all the bed sheets down with him, he shoved all the sheets into the washing machine in the utility room. It was cold downstairs, it could have been the heating cutting out again, he thought no more of it and went to make himself a drink. As he got to the entrance to the kitchen he saw that the side door was ajar, it was odd as he knew he shut it earlier that afternoon. Dan peered out into the garden and out to the road. Nothing. He pulled the door shut, and turned to the sink, it was then that Dan felt cold, everything stopped, only the sensation of something running down his head. Dan collapsed, everything went dark. The man standing over the girls boyfriend with a knife block. The man was calm and silent, a smirk appeared at the corner of his mouth. He began rifling through the kitchen draws. ​Washing the last of the shampoo out of her hair, Sophie turned the tap to the shower off. She palmed the water out of her eyes and reached for the towel, she flung her hair on top of her head all wrapped up in a towel in one fluid motion. Grabbing another towel she covered the rest of her body. Still not dry she made her way downstairs, it was quiet, even when she had gotten to the bottom of the stairs it was still silent. As she got to the living room, Sophie’s legs almost gave way from underneath her, her head became light, her mind blank. She let out a silent scream and ran to where Dan was sitting. In the middle of the living room, gagged, tied up and blinded all with Gaffa Tape. His face almost unrecognizable, swollen and bloodied. She desperately tried to awaken Dan’s motionless body, shaking him by the shoulders. Rapidly Sophie felt a cold sweating hand on her shoulder, she froze. Another hand covered her mouth, she tried to bite the hand but the grip was too tight. The more she struggled the more she could feel the resistance back. And the pain was begging to sink in. She felt sudden dull pain, she could barely open her eyes. She felt each stair banging her heels, the pain and her thought started to creep away from her as if the sound and picture was fading on a screen, she felt the comfort of the bed followed by the comfort of unconsciousness.

This Ones For You I'll write this #poem, it's just for you. Now take a breath and read on through. There are at times low points where we get sad, Where nothing could be worse its far past bad. This problem is your own no ones ever been there before, I know that it's tough that the emotions are raw. When it's all gone to shit and there's no clear way out, and all possibilities and hopes are clouded by doubt But remember that there is always someone there to look out for you, to hold you, keep you safe that cares. This person could be family, friend, stranger or spirit, but the love and the warmth is what comes with it. We must cherish the good little things in #life, for what is the meaning if it goes without strife. Now look deep inside and feel something new, It's warm, it's home, it's a new start to you. Keep safe.

Bed There's a dull spreading ache from my back to my head that puts me on hold and keeps me in bed The sound of spray in the street and tapping at the window pane , the ground is soaked, slippery, wet due to the rain. "Now there is plenty to do", I say to myself but as soon as I persuade I loose all bodily help. But it's so nice and warm under here where I am The idea of productivity is surely a sham. No work, no jobs, no daily routine. I'll smash it all with my bed and some hot ovaltine. It has all been agreed by myself, I and me That today we stay in bed and watch some T.V.

This From My Dream Be careful of those who proclaim the truth, meet them with caution, deliberation and celebration.

As The Dark Falls The air of winter falls upon us again, Another year gone and another year spent. The fleeting flocks of birds due south, and clouds of carols are as fog from mouth. As the time runs down from the Calendar year, The onset of a new and fresh faced fear. It'll be soon before we start a new, As memories of the last begin to fade into few. It may be cold now but hold still, rest tight, As the warmth of the fire sees us through, half light. So enjoy the festivities whatever they are or may be, from Hanukkah to Eid to Kwanzaa and the last bauble on the tree. May you strive for good will and goals to succeed, Merry Christmas (or holiday) to all that read.