Live from Kirrin island! A few weeks ago, I performed in a comedy show which featured some of my sketches and jokes. You can now download it as a podcast from iTunes! Why not download it, have a listen and leave us a rating or a review if you like it? Search for Live From Kirrin Island and check it out! Thanks... Episode 2, Kirrin Island Summer Shorts is being recorded next weekend! Thanks again...

Bank Holiday Weekends... ...are like sex - it never seems to last as long as you want, and usually ends up finishing off with a bit of DIY.

Peter Cruddas Connections Sketch So, here's a sketch that didn't make the cut for this week's Newsjack. Enjoy! --------- GRAMS: SEXY MUSIC VOICEOVER: Are you lonely? Lacking influence? Failing to penetrate that inner circle? Come and see us here at Peter Cruddas Connections. We've sold the Health Service, we've sold the roads, now we're pimping out our government ministers. Do you like an older man? Vince is waiting for your call... VINCE CABLE: I'm the sexy secretary who knows how to do the business. HOT MAMA: Yeah baby! Hook me up to that Cable! VOICEOVER: What?! That's too vanilla for you? How about some red hot role-play and humiliation with Peter Cruddas himself? PETER CRUDDAS: I am a person of considerable influence within the Conservative party and I can give you access to all the top players. HOT MAMA: Mmmmmm... That's so wrong but it feels so wrong! VOICEOVER: Not hardcore enough? Need More? How far do you want to go? All the way? You're filthy! But that's OK, we're even more dirty than you are! Meet David, he's Premier League! DAVID CAMERON: How hot am I? I'm a perfect 10, baby! It says so on my front door! I'll ride your policy through the committee for 250 grand! HOT MAMA: Oooh yeah, I'd lobby that! I'd lobby that hard! VOICEOVER: So, what are you waiting for? Make a donation to Peter Cruddas Connections now, because if you've got the money, we've got the honeys.

This Week's News Leaked emails this week revealed Syrian Dictator Bashar al-Assad's iTunes playlist. It seems he's a bit of a fan of Cliff Richard and Leona Lewis, although his absolute favourite song is Right Said Fred's I'm Too Sexy For My Shi'ite. A syndicate of 12 bus drivers scooped £38 Million on the EuroMillions lottery this week. Problems occurred when they tried to accept their prize, though, with the bus drivers refusing to accept a cheque and demanding they be paid the exact amount in coins. Business news now, and parcel delivery company UPS have bought rival company TNT for a staggering $6.8 Billion. Buying it is the easy part, now they have to wait in for six weeks for it to be delivered. Premier Foods may have to restructure their organisation after its bread making division lost £259 Million. A spokesman said they will be able to slice up the business and find a buyer for most of it, but no one is ever interested in the two bits at either end. With police obesity being such a big issue is it any wonder that there's no money in the policing budget, have you seen how much gym membership costs these days? I see that Harry Potter star got jailed for taking part in the riots last year, it just goes to show that not everyone who goes to a fancy school will turn out right.

Newsjack! Tonight! 10.30! BBC Radio 4 Extra! It's pretty funny, and I'm not just saying that because I wrote a small part of the show.